Open to Hope

One man strugle to put his life back together

As I mediate on the past event of what occurred in my life, I wonder if there was not a God could I have survived this devastation. So many times I wanted to give up and just say enough is enough I don’t need all this stress and pain in my life. But because of love, giving up always seems too vanished in thin air. What I am trying to say is, because I know that God love me, and He won’t leave me to handle this all alone, I gain strength to hold on, and then I loved my […]

Open to Hope

Brianna I just want to wake up and see you

Monday, May 30, 2011

My daughter always woke me up by climbing into bed with me, wiggling her toes into me, and touching her nose to mine. Then when I opened my eyes she would break into this smile wrinkle her nose and laugh, some times so hard she would snort which would make both of us laugh harder. She is gone now she was just right there swimming next to us and just swam off a bit. Now she is gone , why …? She is 7.she is my only daughter. Yes I still have my two boys 11 and 3.I want my […]

Open to Hope

Boarders Without Borders: How New Events Trigger Old Grief

Have you ever had an unseen boarder that caused emotional turmoil, penetrating all of your carefully closeted borders and refusing to leave? Only recently did I recognize unresolved grief as an emotional boarder that relentlessly hung on for too many years.  Now that I am nearing life’s sunset, some of my daily patterns have begun to be more clearly understood. It wasn’t until my Aunt Stella died that the grief I felt from losing my mother had never really been resolved. Mother had passed away three months before Aunt Stella’s death, having fought a courageous battle against a rare form of […]

Death of a Spouse

Widow Learning to ‘Just Be’

It’s funny about how you meet that special someone in your life at the most unexpected time. I was getting my hair cut and colored one day without any thought other than, I really, really need to have my roots colored.   Picture this, a woman sitting in the hair salon chair with her hair sticking up as if she had stuck her finger in an electrical socket.  Now come on, this is supposed to be a place where you can look your worst so that you can look your best – right? The woman who cuts and colors my […]

Open to Hope

My fiance died four days ago

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Four days ago my fiance, Bob, died of a heart attack. We were true soul mates, for lack of a less cliched phrase. We had so much in common it was like we were twins. We had only been together for eight months, but after only a few months of dating became engaged. Every day with Bob was better than the last and we were joyfully anticipating spending the rest of our lives together. I am completely devastated and wonder how I can go on without him. I know that this happens to other people all the time but it […]

Military, Other Losses

Hats Off to a World War II Vet

Yesterday was a wonderful day. While standing in line at the pharmacy, the gentleman behind me smiled. I don’t go to the CVS to make friends, but somehow yesterday I did. This older fellow’s smile, along with his vet’s hat, was engaging. He looked too young to have been in WWII so I asked him. “Yes, I was in the Navy, this was my ship.  (He pointed to his hat.) Spent a good deal of time in New Guinea and the South Pacific.” He was tall, tan and handsome. I thought he must have been just a kid back then. […]

Open to Hope

After Hospice Experience, Woman Volunteers

I had been thinking about becoming a hospice volunteer for a while.  It would come to me as a passing thought every now and then. I would consider it for a bit and then put aside.  Little did I know just how soon and how clearly my indecision would be reconciled. Our local hospice house is on the outskirts of town on what used to be a farm place.  There is a windmill and a few trees but farm fields mostly surround the house.  It looks like a home – not a place of death.  I had tour a shortly […]

Death of a Sibling

What To Do With a Loved One’s Possessions?

Saturday, May 28, 2011

What to do with your loved one’s possessions? Less than two months after my sister’s murder, her 24-year-old daughter (my niece) called and asked for my help.   My sister owned her home and the insurance company would pay for a total restoration; however, everything had to be removed from the home before the restoration could begin. When my niece was talking to me about this, I realized I was holding my breath.  My sister was murdered in her home and now, we had to walk into that home and clear it of all her possessions.  Of course, I told my […]

Death of a Child, Special Topics

Mother’s New Normal Includes Memories, Laughter, and Pain

Friday, May 27, 2011

To borrow a few words from Huey Lewis, “The power of love is a curious thing”. Love, the ultimate emotion, has been the subject of songs, poems, and books for centuries. This elusive feeling has the power to make people laugh, cry, lose their temper, become violent, become humbled, and return for more. How is it that people can cry for a loved one who has been gone for years? We do not forget the love, and our hearts definitely do not forget the happiness of relationship or the hurt of loss. In our quest to remember those who have […]