Open to Hope

A New Year’s Hope: Prayer for Peace

Saturday, December 31, 2011

Prayer for Peace If there is to be peace in the world, There must be peace in the nations. If there is to be peace in the nations, There must be peace in the cities. If there is to be peace in the cities, There must be peace between neighbors. If there is to be peace between neighbors, There must be peace in the home. If there is to be peace in the home, There must be peace in the heart. I recently came across this prayer and have spent hours thinking about it. In the world today, we so […]

Death of a Child

From ‘I’m Tired’ to ‘I’m Glad’

Friday, December 30, 2011

I’m tired of starting the day without you. I’m tired of waiting for the call that never comes. I’m tired of coming home to an empty house. I’m tired of sleeping alone. I’m tired of having no one to tuck in at night. I’m tired of seeing happy families. I’m so tired of feeling alone. I’m so tired of hearing this too shall pass. I’m just so tired of my life. When someone we love dies, we are left to endure so many things. Their death is the big obvious one but slowly we begin to realize there is so […]

Death of a Child

Nine Gifts from Grief

Thursday, December 29, 2011

It can be hard to grasp or even accept the idea that there are such things as “grief gifts.” How can we possibly believe that the experience of grief and loss will bestow any such gift? Especially when all we have now is an aching longing for that which is so out of reach. It is not a new concept. History and literature abounds with a similar notion. “In my end is my beginning.” — Mary Queen of Scots “Sadness flies on the wings of the morning. And out of the darkness comes the light” — Jean Giraudoux “Even the […]

Your Grief

Finding Peace in Your Breath this Holiday Season

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Like many of you, I miss my loved one this holiday season and like many others of you, I am still missing my child, my 21-year-old daughter. When we are grieving, we tend to hold our breath or take rapid shallow breaths. Additionally, our bodies secrete the stress hormone, and when the stress is elevated over time, as it is in grief, the immune system is compromised. This increases our susceptibility to colds, flu, and other illnesses. Add to our grief the busyness of the holiday season and we experience a double whammy. In our busy lives, intentional breathing can […]

Open to Hope

A New Answer to the Question, ‘How are You?’

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

“How are you?” became a dreaded question. Four family members, my daughter, father-in-law, brother, and former son-in-law, died in 2007. My daughter and former son-in-law died from the injuries they received in separate car crashes. Family members and friends couldn’t believe the story and I couldn’t either. Suddenly, our twin grandchildren were orphans and my husband and I were GRGs, grandparents raising grandchildren. Recovering from multiple losses takes longer than recovering from one. As I discovered, your emotions bounce around a lot and you may go backwards on the recovery path. When I looked for information about multiple losses on […]

Death of a Sibling

The Gift of the Blanket

Sunday, December 25, 2011

When my son was born, over thirty three years ago, I received a beautiful handmade blanket for him. I remember the day I received the blanket. My sister, Sandra, handed me the wrapped box. I carefully unwrapped the box, lifted the lid and slowly folded the tissue paper back. There, in the box, was the beautiful hand knit blanket. As I looked at the blanket, Sandra exclaimed, “I made it!” I must have looked at her questioningly, because again she exclaimed, “I made it, really, I made it!” Sandra, who was murdered two years ago, wasn’t known for her domestic abilities, especially […]

Death of a Spouse

A Special Ornament

Saturday, December 24, 2011

The four-inch light blue glass ball is always the initial ornament placed on our annual family Christmas tree. For our first Yuletide Season together, my new husband David and I travelled to my childhood home in upstate New York to be with family. We saved the money that we would have spent on a tree, and instead we used the fund for gas and presents. As a compromise, we trimmed a scrawny, potted Norfolk spruce that already filled an empty corner in our sparsely decorated first apartment. The special, delicate ball with the white handpainted message “David 1948” represented all […]

Other Losses

Heavenly Peace: How One Man’s Grief Journey has Taught Him Well

Friday, December 23, 2011

My holiday season has begun with another lesson learned along my Grief Journey. It comes with the passing of one of my friends who has done the billing in my Family & Personal Counseling practice. Diana Hogan reminded me of my Aunt Rose, whom we also lost to cancer. For the first time in awhile, I was really shaken up going to the funeral home to pay my respects. Not only were powerful memories triggered (of my son, Michael, and Aunt Rose), but it seemed like I was falling back in time to some of the dark days of facing […]

Death of a Child, Your Grief

Christmas Grief: Tips for Enduring After a Child’s Death

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Anniversaries, birthdays, special memories and holidays intensify the pain after the death of a child. And although we may have discovered daily tools to help guide our everyday grief, December seems to require special tips and ideas to navigate the days leading up to the holiday dates. The following are some helpful ideas I have compiled over the years from my own history and from those shared by other bereaved parents. These ideas seem to follow the categories of Self Care, Traditions and Honoring Your Child. Self Care • Accept support • Allow/ask others to help with Christmas tasks (card […]

Open to Hope

A Skeptic’s Journey Through Grief

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

As a physician with a strong science background, I used to regard all things spiritual with a jaded eye—until the recent suicide of my young son, Erik. Since then, my life has been cleaved into two parts: The Before and The After, The Bliss and The Dark Despair.   Everyone deals with grief differently. I heal best by journaling my thoughts in a way that helps others. So once I was able to wipe away my tears and crawl out of bed, I began to write a blog: www.channelingerik.com. At first, I shared my grief, pouring my broken heart onto every […]