Death of a Spouse

Life’s Transitions, Friendships, and the ‘Widow Infection’

Friday, August 31, 2012

I feel like I’m in a period of transition, which is not unusual for me. It’s really not unusual for anyone like me, and by that I mean a woman in her 30s This year, I will be turning 36, which means that if I were in elementary school, it would be perfectly okay to round up to 40. But I’m not in elementary school, so it’s not okay. I don’t mind being in my 30s because I’m starting to recognize it for what it is and I think lot of my friends are as well. This is the time […]

Death of a Spouse, Your Grief

Former Widower Reviews ‘Go On,’ TV Show About Widower

Sunday, August 19, 2012

      I don’t watch a lot of TV. With five young kids and four books in various stages of completion, I don’t have the time or energy to commit to the boob tube. But with Marathon Girl glued to the Olympics for two weeks (about the only time she watches TV), I kept seeing the promos for the new Mathew Perry show “Go On.” The subject matter of a recent widower trying to move on was enough to entice me to put down the pen for 30 minutes and see if the show was worth watching. Much to […]

Death of a Spouse

The Widow Time Zone

Saturday, August 18, 2012

  I’m writing this late at night on purpose. Or maybe I’m not. I don’t know. Right now I’m in Widow Time Zone (WTZ). WTZ comes as a surprise to us all. I know this because I’ll be sitting at my computer just typing away when an email will come in at 1:00 in the morning and I’ll respond to it. Hey, Widow Chick! Just wanted to see if you could help me with ____ or if you could read the following ____ or if you could just let me know if I’m crazy. As soon as my email pings, […]

Your Grief

Educate Yourself About Grief in Workplace

Thursday, August 16, 2012

“For most of human history, people died fast. Now suddenly, we have the opportunity to grow old, to have an illness for a long period of time, and to know what’s coming. We could make this an important phase of life.” — Joanne Lynn, M.D., “Americans for Better Care of the Dying” It may sound peculiar, but there are some very exciting things happening where death is concerned in America. The momentum of change in how we view and respond to death is building in many sectors of society as we transform our culture of death. For example, consider the […]

Death of a Child

Back to School Blues for Mom Who Lost Child

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

It’s that time of year again. We are standing in the middle of the school supply section of Target, along with several other families. My two teenagers efficiently place items in the cart, crossing them off their respective lists. They display a great deal of self-sufficiency this year, which makes this task way more simple than it was in 2001 when my oldest, Bryce, was entering kindergarten. As I stand amidst the brightly colored folders and neatly packaged pencils, my mind wanders. The back to school transition triggers my grief each year, without fail. I think about the daughter who […]

Your Grief

Choose to Live Again; Your Loved One Would Want That

Monday, August 13, 2012

How come when tragedy strikes, we hear the words, “Time heals?” After suffering and recovering from much hardship, time has been both an ally and enemy. Yes, it gifted me the allowance of sharing the moment my father took his last breath and for this I’m grateful but 4 years after his death, the void in my heart hasn’t healed; it’s still as big as the day he died. Each day is another day without him physically. And, time, reflective of each passing calendar day, continuously reminds me of this. Yes, I’ve been comforted with the belief that when he […]

Death of a Spouse, Your Grief

Why Some Women Start Dating Soon After Husband’s Death

Friday, August 10, 2012

I have been confused by many things in my life. But I would say that, by far, the thing that has confused me the most is being comforted by a boyfriend while I cry about my husband. Yup. That’s a doozy. I would imagine that it’s confusing for him as well. I mean, if my husband were here…my boyfriend wouldn’t be. So it’s got to be a little difficult to say to me, “I’m so sorry he’s gone” because if he wasn’t we would have never met. But since he’s my best friend, too, that’s what he says. And he […]

Open to Hope

The Miracle of Stating Your Intent During Your Grief Journey

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Just a sign, to remind me That tomorrow’s worth the fight  From the song “Miracle” lyrics by Brent Smith and Dave Bassett. From the album Amaryllis by Shinedown The above lyrics from the song “Miracle” by a musical group known as Shinedown nicely capture the essence of my journey as a parent who has experienced the death of a child. After my 18-year-old daughter Jeannine’s death in March of 2003, I looked for any source of inspiration amidst the raw pain of my grief, that signaled “tomorrow’s worth the fight”. I regularly asked for signs of her everlasting presence. The […]

Death of a Child, Open to Hope, Your Grief

Using Memoir Writing to Deal with Grief

Even before my son Paul died, I started writing about him and his bipolar disorder. I kept a journal to get out the frustrations of dealing with his episodes and hospitalizations and erratic behavior, and I took several classes and workshops at the University of California at Los Angeles Extension writing program, Esalen Institute in Big Sur, CA, and at a private class in Los Angeles. Thankfully, all my classmates were willing to hear me read my dark, raw pieces about my grief for years. At first I thought I would write a memoir about Paul’s illness and how he […]

Death of a Child, Your Grief

10 Reactions to the Death of a Child

In the midst of deep grief over the death of a child, you may hear many different reactions from bereaved parents — from not wanting to talk about the child to why this has happened to them. I have chosen 10 common reactions and commented on each one. 1. “I don’t want to talk about my child. It makes me too sad.” Talking about your child is good for you. It allows you to tell others how you are feeling and they in turn may react differently to you. You don’t have to get graphic or tell too much about […]