Open to Hope

My Daughter’s Spirit is Part of Me

Sunday, June 30, 2013

Coming to terms with the death of a child is an ongoing process. I discovered this after my daughter died from the injuries she received in a car crash. Today, six years later, thanks to grief work and introspection, my daughter’s spirit is part of me. Many others have come to the same awareness. Cheryl Strayed writes about recovering from the death of her mother in Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail. When I ordered the book online I didn’t know much about it and thought it was a book about hiking. It is about hiking, […]

Death of a Child

Navigating the Ebb and Flow of Grief

Friday, June 28, 2013

At almost four years after the death of my daughter, I had thought it would be easier than this. In those early days and months when my grief made it feel like I simply couldn’t survive this loss, I saw others in support groups who had lost their loved ones many years before, and they seemed ok. They looked almost “normal” again. They told me it wouldn’t always be like this. They said you learn to live with the pain, and it would lessen over time. They said you will eventually find joy and happiness again. They said you create […]

Children & Teens, Your Grief

Introduction: Innocence

Maybe it’s peculiar that I don’t feel ashamed. My beauties are noticeable, but I’m proud of them. Some have called me crazy and maybe always will, but I won’t hide from that label. If I’m crazy then is that pretty little girl, as innocent as it’s possible to be, crazy because she had “normal” ripped away? Any chance of living what some would call a normal life was shot away. Innocence was stolen from me and guilt shoved itself down my throat when my heart skipped a beat and I gasped for air. But maybe the air wasn’t poisonous after […]

Death of a Spouse

Getting Through Special Occasions

Sunday, June 23, 2013

I will never forget how difficult it was to get through all the special occasions after my husband died. There were just so many “firsts,” whether it was Thanksgiving, Christmas, new babies being born, and Memorial Day. Whatever the occasion was, it was hard. What I learned from that was you just have to do what you need to do to get yourself through it. For example, it had been our Memorial Day tradition to drive 50 miles to the cemetery where my husband’s family graves were. We did that every single year, rain or shine, but on that first Memorial […]

Open to Hope

Writing Poetry to Cope

Saturday, June 22, 2013

This summer is going to be a doozy: Our eldest daughter is about to climb behind the wheel of our family van. Yikes. Stop the clock already. I wish we could go back in time, start off a bit more slowly, savor all those delicious growing-up moments, even delay taking those training wheels off her bike a bit longer. How has time flashed by so quickly? Of course, this also means that my husband’s next anniversary of successful cancer treatment will be his sixteenth. Thank God. And thank chemo. At the time of his diagnosis, I was four months pregnant; […]

Open to Hope

Painful Memories can be a Bridge to Recovery

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Life has its ups and downs. After a loved one dies it’s normal to feel down and depressed, but you may also be plagued by painful memories. You wish these memories would go away and leave you alone, yet they keep coming back. What can you do with painful memories? I asked myself this question after four family memers died in 2007. When I reviewed my experiences with each of these people, painful memories came to mind, and I decided to learn from them. First, I let the memories come. Clearly, my subconscious mind was processing information and I let […]

Death of a Spouse, Special Topics

My Words to Live By: I Am Open

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

I recently spent some time with a special friend and she told me how she came to name her upcoming book  (which I hope to feature in a future blog).  What follows is my reaction to the story of her experience. At a New Year’s Day service, which is a time of beginnings, my friend participated in a “White Stone Ceremony.”  During the ceremony, each person was given a white stone and participated in a meditation which lead them into receiving a word that encouraged their spirit to celebrate a new beginning. My friend was asked to hold her stone, […]

Death of a Child, Open to Hope

Love is Stronger than Death: The Power of Story

Monday, June 17, 2013

I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge – That myth is more potent than history. I believe that dreams are more powerful than facts – That hope always triumps over experience – That laughter is the only cure for grief. And I believe that love is stronger than death.            Robert Fulghum One warm summer day, the neighborhood children asked if they could explore the forest behind our house. When they didn’t return in about a half hour, my husband, Gary, got concerned and went to look for them. He located them by the sound […]

Death of a Parent, Your Grief

A Bike Ride With My Father: His Father’s Day Gift to Me

Sunday, June 16, 2013

Bicycle bicycle bicycle I want to ride my bicycle bicycle bicycle  I want to ride my bicycle I want to ride my bike I want to ride my bicycle I want to ride it where I like From the Song: Bicycle Race, by Queen    “I Have A Thought” At 9:00 am today (6/15/13), I received a text message from my dear friend from Long Island, Patty Furino. In addition to being one of my closest friends, Patty is one of my most influential spiritual mentors and witnesses on the journey I have embraced following the death of my 18-year-old […]

Death of a Child, Special Topics

A Father’s Day Perspective

by Sandy Fox Happy Father’s Day to all fathers. Today is your day, and I hope you celebrate it with loved ones. Many fathers react differently to this day depending on where they are in their lives, especially a bereaved father. One bereaved father wrote this poem: As this day approaches, I wonder how I will react. Am I still a father? I will sit quietly never allowing family and friends to see how I feel. I will miss my son, but I can’t allow myself to “break.” I must remain strong and always be the “rock.” I wish I […]