You are here: Home > Your Loss > Family Loss > Death of a Child > > The Cup of Coffee: Small Kindnesses Help in Big Ways

The Cup of Coffee: Small Kindnesses Help in Big Ways

October, for me, will always be radiation month. My son Daniel was diagnosed with cancer in May, and by the fall, he was scheduled for radiation treatments every morning. For two weeks, after putting my six-year-old daughter on the school bus, my sons and I would make the trek to UNC Hospital. After unbuckling both four-year-old Daniel and eleven-month-old Benjamin from their car seats, I would put Benjamin in a stroller. The three of us would enter the clinic.

As we sat in the lobby, waiting for Daniel’s turn for the tumor on his neck to be radiated, coffee in a Styrofoam cup, would be handed to me. I’d thank the hospital worker, an elderly man, and sip the hot beverage.

Soon Daniel would be called and taken into the small room for his treatment. Ben, usually content with a toy, and I would wait in the lobby where I’d pray for all to go well. I also spent time thinking about buying winter clothes for Daniel; he’d outgrown all of his pants. I sometimes gave a little thought to my pregnancy; I was due in May.

While my thoughts during those chilly mornings changed, the coffee never did. Faithfully, each morning, the worker presented me with a cup. His name was Lawrence, although his name tag said Larry.

Daniel did get winter clothes, and a baby sister. But he never saw his sister as he died three months before her birth.

Now on October mornings, I think of that time at the clinic. Thirteen years later, I still remember the cups of coffee. I look back on that woman of thirty-five, pregnant, with a first grader, a toddler, and a cancer patient. I wonder how she coped. I do know that the kindness of a man who was once a stranger, continues to warm her spirit. He must have seen her coming that first day, fumbling with the front door, hair still damp from her hurried shower, and knew he had to help her in any way he could.

You never know how meaningful your acts of concern—even the simple ones—can be to someone. At the time you perform them, and, many years later.

This entry was posted in Death of a Child, Grief Tips, Helping Others, Special Topics and tagged , , by Alice Wisler. Bookmark the permalink.
Alice Wisler

About Alice Wisler

Alice J. Wisler, founder of a grief-support organization, Daniel’s House Publications, is a full-time writer and author of three novels. In 1997, her four-year-old son Daniel died from cancer treatments. Since then, her writing focus has been on how to help others in grief. She gives Writing the Heartache workshops across the country. Through her organization, she designs and sells comfort cards/remembrance cards. When she isn't writing or speaking, she is promoting her novels, Rain Song (2008), How Sweet It Is (2009), and Hatteras Girl (2010) and two cookbooks of memory, Down the Cereal Aisle and Slices of Sunlight. Her cookbooks contain stories of food and memories of children who have died. In 2009, Alice married Carl in Las Vegas, and they live with her three children in Durham, NC. To Listen to Alice's Radio show To learn more about Alice visit her website: http://www.alicewisler.com and go to her blogs: http://www.alicewisler.blogspot.com and http://www.writingtheheartache.blogspot.com/

2 thoughts on “The Cup of Coffee: Small Kindnesses Help in Big Ways

  1. Alice:

    God bless you – your story touched my heart. I could never imagine the loss of a child. I saw what it did to my own mother when my brother was killed. She never recovered from it. I admire your strength and courage.

    God Bless You,
    Deborah Ann Tornillo

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>