Yes, we are shaking up the status quo of grieving in this country. We are the grief stricken, we are the broken hearted, we are the disenchanted, and we are the anguished.  We are the bereaved parent; we are the many who are now saying No to letting go.

From the Viet Nam war to the Oklahoma bombing, the shootings at Columbine, the 9/11 terrorist attack on New York City, murders in Rwanda, Northern Ireland, South Africa, the wars in Afghanistan, Iran, Iraq, Palestine, Israel, in the countless other countries around the world and on the streets of our cities across the nation bereaved moms, dads and siblings are created every day.  Baby boomers are hopping on the Polar Express to heaven in droves as our bodies, minds and spirits wear out.  Now in the throes of a deep recession and all of its related losses, we as a country are going headlong into grief overload.

Paradoxically, I also believe that we are in the midst of a wave of new consciousness that is  emerging in our society (relative to the bereavement process) in a  paradigm shift  which I call proactive grieving ®. People of all walks of life in this country and across the world are questioning for the first time what they have been taught to believe about death, dying and the ideologies of life after death.  People are now speaking out loudly about their grief and taking control of their own journey.

With the advent of such groups such as The Compassionate Friends, Bereaved Parents USA, and a plethora of splinter groups dealing with child loss, we as bereaved parents have unified in a very large community of likeminded individuals who bring many colors and textures to the tapestry of honorable survival that we find ourselves weaving together.

In growing numbers, we are redefining and personifying our grief journey as a life-long one, an implacable one, one filled with pain and sorrow but yet rich with compassion and the magic of life. At the risk of being hubristic in my attempt to recognize this obvious paradigm shift, I think you will agree that it is happening. We are stirring up the heavens and opening up a star gate of cosmic understanding, a portal between two worlds, this and the next.

In the 1970s, Ken Kesey popularized the story of The Hundredth Monkey, which had origins in a real scientific experiment done in 1952. The original story describes research on Japanese macaque monkeys, which have been studied intensively for more than four decades in a number of wild colonies. They first provided monkeys in one colony on the island of Koshima with sweet potatoes, which were thrown onto the beach and hence were covered with sand. One of the monkeys, an 18-month old female, called Imo, solved the problem of the sand on the potatoes by carrying them down to a stream and washing them before feeding. This new form of behavior spread through the colony. By 1958 all the juveniles were washing dirty food and some of the adults learned to do so by imitating their children.

Then something extraordinary took place.  In the autumn of that year, 1958, an unspecified number of monkeys on Koshima were washing sweet potatoes in the sea, because Imo had made the further discovery that salt water not only cleaned the food but gave it an interesting new flavor.

Let us say, for argument’s sake, that the number was 99 and that at eleven o’clock on the Tuesday morning, one further convert was added to the fold in the usual way. But the addition of the 100th monkey apparently carried the number across some sort of threshold of consciousness because by that evening almost everyone in the colony even though not having observed it, started to do it. Not only that, but the habit seems to have jumped natural barriers, appearing spontaneously in colonies in other islands where the colonies were being observed.

I postulate this is happening in our society with our understanding of the bereavement process.  Worldwide the bereaved are experiencing phenomenon that supports that the spirit of our loved ones who have died live in another sphere of existence that is still connected to our own.  And although the 100 hundredth monkey principle works at the unconscious level or soul level, the media does it at a conscious level and is also exploding.

Twenty years ago, from my own personal experience, I started exploring the phenomenon of what I call “’ soul speak”   or instances that give credibility to the fact that personality survives physical death.  I believe in the notion that at our loved ones’ life force exists on a current, pre-current and post-current simultaneous time continuum or parallel world with our own.  Although this has been and is a contentious subject on many fronts, Einstein’s theory of relativity only supports it.

At one time I was stepping out on limb, braving the slings and arrows of ridicule, but now I find strength in great numbers from not only the fellow bereaved, but scientists, physicists, psychologists, medical doctors and even religious leaders. I believe that all of our souls are connected at a cosmic molecular level which not only provides us with insight, genius, instinct, cosmic awareness, prophecy, deity connection, avenue for prayer and conduit for love, but also a very real  soul to soul connection that provides for communication with our loved ones who have died.

I have had many experiences that illustrate this fact and personally I have heard thousands upon thousands of correlative stories from the bereaved who will also attest to similar experiences that they have had.  The more we unabashedly speak of our experiences and share phenomenon, the more we stir up the heavens. If you have never seen an orb in a photograph as a sign from your dead child or loved one, or have had a butterfly dance in your presence, you more than likely will after reading this article.

Take off the dark colored glasses; take off the rose colored glasses; see what is about us always. When we know, our loved ones know we know, and they have one more tool, one more way to say I love you and miss you.  They are whispers of love and they are real.

Open your minds, open your hearts, open your soul…connect with the all, the what is, the what was, the what will be, the alpha and the omega and all in-between.  In the water of life ,we are all buckets of God; drink deep, the well is self-sustaining and forever. Stir up the heavens, shake up the stars, awaken the birthright of your soul and find peace in knowing love never dies.

Tags: grief, hope