As a widow, I’ve found that ordinary things can take on a whole new meaning. For instance, today at work I turned over the page of my desk calendar. There on one side of the calendar page was a page full of hearts with a message, “Remember, next Monday is Valentine’s Day.”
I found myself feeling extremely blue at the thought of another Valentine’s Day without the love of my life (my husband passed away almost 6 years ago). I remembered how he would always have flowers in a vase on the kitchen table for me when I came home from work. I remembered the beautiful card that sat beside the vase of flowers.
I smiled, took a deep breath, and I was thankful for the beautiful memory. All this from just turning over a page on my desk calendar, but it didn’t end there.
I turned the page that was filled with hearts over, and there was a short quote, “In love there are no vacations… No such thing. Love has to be lived fully…with its boredom and all that.” – Marguerite Duras.
I thought: I don’t know who you are, Marguerite Duras, but I do know that you are right. “Love has to be lived fully…with its boredom and all that.”
I found myself thinking of how I wish I could have that boredom back in my life! After 35 years of marriage, I knew just what she meant. We did have some boring days – but we were bored together. When you are a widow, and alone you even long for the boredom…how sad is that? Like I said, even the ordinary things take on new meaning when you are a widow
Marguerite Duras was a French Writer and Film Director (1914 – 1996).
Paula Ezop 2011