The following is based on a true story: Some time after our mother’s death, my sister and I arranged to meet at our mother’s home to begin the process of sorting out her belongings. It was a beautiful spring morning; the sun was shining and the first blossoms were appearing on the trees. There was a mix [...]
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Self-Torture Legacy for Many Grieving Suicide
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March 22, 2010
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Families and loved ones of those who choose to end their own lives are all faced with the unanswerable question, Why? We may assume that for those families where the deceased left a note, the answer to that question is obvious. But in my experience working with the surviving loved ones of suicide, notes usually serve to add to [...]
Healthy Grief Expression Can Happen in Many Forms
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February 25, 2010
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Many who grieve find it difficult to express how they are feeling. As time passes, the opportunity to talk about their deceased loved one becomes less frequent whilst inside them the need to talk continues. Finding outlets for the feelings, and a way to communicate their experience to others, can be beneficial to the process of [...]
Don’t Stop Others From Crying
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November 26, 2009
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I often use visualisation when working with my clients. I talk with them about the feelings that they are holding in, feel unable to share, or in some cases feel pressure either spoken or unspoken to appear to be doing well. It’s a bit like sitting on a box. The box is over filled with [...]
After a Loss, Answering the Question: Who Am I Now?
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November 19, 2009
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Death affects and changes everything. The circumstances and impact affect not only the obvious areas of life but every area and simple tasks that used to be easily undertaken can seem enormous and just too difficult. Everyday activities can be exhausting and any activity can create deep anxiety. Many of my clients tell me that [...]
Death of Child Affects Relationships Throughout Family
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November 12, 2009
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When anyone we love dies our lives are changed; things we had planned will no longer be the same. The death of a child is often the least expected death, and the ongoing effect upon the remaining family can seem endless. One of the commonest things I hear said is: “You don’t expect to attend [...]
Is There Life After Death?
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October 7, 2009
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When someone we love dies, it leaves us with the unanswered question: “ Where are they?” There is a huge gaping void that they once filled. Where is my mother – her laugh, the unusual and inventive chef who filled the house with wonderful cooking aromas, the comedian who even in illness found humour? Where is she? [...]
