I sat with my father for the last time on Thursday, the 18th of December, 2008. His condition was not much different from the past several days; he was sleeping and unresponsive. For so many days now, I’d been sitting at his bedside, holding his hand, talking to him and wondering if he even heard [...]
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The Sweater: Daughter Wishes She Could Repay Father’s Gift
It is the third of December 2008. I sit by my dad’s bedside, holding his hand and watching him breathe, holding my breath as his stops for several seconds, only exhaling when he finally takes another faltering breath. I count: ten seconds of silence followed by a gasping breath, then fifteen seconds of shallow noisy [...]
Looking Through the Window: A View of ‘Home’
It is the summer of 2007. At eighty-five years old, my mother is in the hospital for the second time in as many weeks. She is weak and tired and more than a little frightened. At the age of eighty, her kidneys failed. She’s been a dialysis patient for five years now, and while it’s [...]
Surviving Children, Husband Save Mother’s Day After Son Dies
Mother’s Day 2004 came six days after my oldest son Cameron died. We had not even had the funeral yet, as the circumstances of his death required an autopsy by the county coroner’s office and his body had not yet been released. The meaning of the day, the meaning of what it meant to be [...]
Four Friends for the Grief Journey
During my journey through grief, here were four friends that never failed me: journaling, expressive arts, dreams and synchronicity. My book, The Deep Water Leaf Society, is full of examples of how these companions helped to guide me toward healing. Here is a brief overview of how you can bring these friends along with you [...]
Good Friday: Even in Darkest Night, Sun Waits to Rise
I’ve been thinking about the Easter story as a metaphor for my own journey through grief. I’ve been thinking about Good Friday and the days leading up to it, because in reality that’s where the Easter story begins. It begins with the dark night of the soul. It begins with a death. In my life, [...]
Helping a Child Cope With the Death of a Grandparent
The death of a grandparent can be especially difficult for a young child. But there are ways that you can help the child cope. For example, you can ask the child to draw some pictures of her and her grandfather together and then tell you about the pictures. Or you can suggest that the child [...]
The Twins Born From Grief
Exactly one year to the day after losing my 26-year-old son to a drug overdose, I had this dream: May 3, 2005 – The doctor tells me I’m pregnant. Oh my God, I don’t want to have another baby at this age! It will be so much work and I don’t have the energy. I [...]









