Like millions of other Americans, I turned on the television to watch the memorial service for the victims of the Tucson rampage. The service opened with music, as many traditional services do, and President and Mrs. Obama bowed their heads … Continue reading
My daughter loved Thanksgiving and Christmas. Thanksgiving was special because she was born on this day. Christmas gave her a chance to give to others, even though she had little money. In her younger years, when she didn’t have twins … Continue reading
After a loved one dies you’re overwhelmed with contradictory feelings. You have trouble sleeping and feelings you didn’t know you keep you awake for hours. At least, that is my experience after four family members, my daughter, father-in-law, brother, and … Continue reading
I identified with Elizabeth Edwards. Like her, I had lost a child. Like her, I was a book author. Like her, I spoke to community groups. For years, I followed Elizabeth on television and admired her from afar. She was … Continue reading
After my daughter died, I became acutely aware of the gifts she had given my husband and me. One year, she gave us a step stool for Christmas because she was afraid our rickety one would collapse and injure us. … Continue reading
Finding your way through the grief maze takes time, gut-level honesty, and personal courage. Questions keep you awake at night and haunt your days. Who am I now? Will I survive this? What will life become? Unfortunately, some mourners succumb … Continue reading
The empty chairs at our Thanksgiving table are increasing. Four loved ones died in 2007 and, while the pain of loss has diminished, it’s still with me. My father-in-law, the family patriarch who always asked us to join hands and … Continue reading
Several weeks ago I drove to a meeting with friends. It was an hour and a half drive and, to pass the time, I showed them my new affirmations book. This led to a conversation about loss and grief, one … Continue reading
Bucket list — a list of things you want to do before you die — has recently become part of American vernacular. The words have become part of American life as well. Writing prompts for bucket lists are posted on … Continue reading
In her new book, “Just Who Will You Be?” Maria Shriver discusses life purpose and planning. “Ask yourself, ‘Who do I want to be?’ It’s the most important question of your life,” she writes. Her question may be applied to … Continue reading
Last weekend, my husband and I took our granddaughter to college. She is a freshman at a small, historic, respected college in Iowa. We are excited about her college choice and acceptance. But our emotions are tugged in two directions … Continue reading
Humans were meant to laugh. The ability to laugh is wired into our minds, and that is a good thing for all who mourn. Four of my loved ones, including my elder daughter, died in 2007, and I thought I … Continue reading
The other day, I came across a rerun of Oprah Winfrey’s television show. Interior designer Nate Berkus was one of her guests. He was there to talk about recovering from loss, something Berkus knows all too well. Five years ago, … Continue reading
Every mourner has a story to share. You may share your story with family members, close friends, and community groups. But you need to share it without upsetting listeners so much they turn you off. How can you do this? … Continue reading
June was graduation month for most American high schools. Our twin grandchildren graduated then, and my husband and I attended the ceremony. It was an emotional experience because we are GRGs, grandparents raising grandchildren. We assumed these roles after our … Continue reading
More than three years have passed since four family members died. The shock of multiple losses — my elder daughter, father-in-law, brother, and former son-in-law — brought me to my knees. The deaths occurred successively, within a nine-month period, and … Continue reading
On the first anniversary of our daughter’s death, my husband and I held a graveside service in her memory. It was a brief service because the February temperature hovered around zero and the wind chill was fierce. Despite the weather, … Continue reading
The death of a loved one changes you forever. You mourn, determine your grief work, do the work, and try to build a new life. At least, these are the things I had to do after four loved ones died … Continue reading
Ever since my daughter died from the injuries she received in a car crash in 2007, I’ve become more aware of the sacred moments in my life. Before she died I thought I was aware of these moments, but this … Continue reading
“We don’t see many people these days,” my husband commented. “I know,” I answered. “It’s because of our multiple losses.” After our twin grandchildren lost their parents in separate car crashes in 2007 we became their legal guardians and conservators … Continue reading
A sudden and traumatic death shatters your world. The changes may be readily apparent or may take months, or even years, to emerge. In 2007, my elder daughter (mother of my twin grandchildren) and father-in-law died on the same weekend. … Continue reading
After our elder daughter was killed in a car crash and our former son-in-law died in another car crash, my husband and I became GRGs – grandparents raising grandchildren. Wow, did our lives change! We are back to booming rock … Continue reading
Until I lost four loved ones in 2007, I did not realize recovering from grief was a personal choice. The shock of multiple losses was so great I could hardly think. Two choices were open to me. I could stay … Continue reading
Grief triggers – your deceased loved one’s birthday, the anniversary of your loss, and holiday festivities – are a recovery challenge. How will you respond? Will you continue to move forward with life or will the grief trigger stop you … Continue reading
Today — February 23, 2010 – is third anniversary of my daughter’s death. She died from the injuries she received in a car crash. I have conflicting feelings: sorrow that will be with me always, and a sense of accomplishment … Continue reading