When our second son, Lance, was born, he quickly found the middle two fingers of his right hand served his well as a pacifier. His index and little finger extended straight up on each cheek creating the “hook’em horns” symbol made famous by the University of Texas at Austin. When his habit continued as a [...]
Found 18 results
Bereaved Father Discovers He’s Not Alone
|
May 14, 2010
Leave a response
A few weeks after my son, Lance, was killed, my wife Kathy, received some information about the Compassionate Friends; she wanted to go to a meeting. She told me it was a support group for bereaved parents. My reaction was I didn’t need a support group. All my life, I was the one person that [...]
Choose Positive Memories During this Season of Hope
|
December 22, 2009
1 Response
Patrick Malone’s remarks at The Compassionate Friends Atlanta Chapter 2009 Candle Light Remembrance. We would have traded places with our child without a second thought, but we weren’t given that choice. When that enormous pain of grief rolled into and totally disrupted our nice, neat, little life, we didn’t have a choice. Even now, months [...]
What to Say to a Grieving Person: There’s an App for That
|
December 8, 2009
2 Responses
I think one of the most frequently asked questions after a loss is, “What should I say to someone who is grieving?” My company has developed a product that might help with that. Some background: This past April, I wrote about the importance of acknowledging people who are grieving. Often, the fear of saying the wrong thing [...]
When an Employee is Grieving the Death of a Child
|
September 14, 2009
Leave a response
The Situation Businesses are accustomed to putting a price tag on lost productivity and increased insurance costs associated with conditions from diabetes to those from life problems including substance abuse and depression. For the first time, there is data available on the impact of grief in the workplace. The annual cost of grief from the [...]
Does Grief End? Deciding That It’s OK to Survive
|
August 21, 2009
Leave a response
My wife, Kathy, and I present a workshop for bereaved parents that we have titled, “Into the Valley and Out Again.” We conclude that presentation with some of our observations on our recovery and reinvestment. We believe that many of these observations apply to all forms of grief. So here are some excerpts from our [...]
Grief Goes to Work: Part II
|
June 12, 2009
2 Responses
By Patrick T. Malone – In the last installment, I told you about the deaths of my two sons, Scott and Lance, and my work experiences related to the grief associated with those deaths. We ended with my reaching out for help from others fully expecting the world was coming to an end. Well, as [...]
How Do You Honor Co-Worker on Anniversary of Her Death?
|
May 26, 2009
Leave a response
Michele writes in: At our company, the executive secretary to the President, who was only in her early 30s, died last year suddenly one afternoon. She had been with the company for 12 years. She was like family to many of her coworkers. Any suggestions as to how to recognize the one-year anniversary of her [...]
Grief Goes to Work: Part One
|
May 26, 2009
Leave a response
By Patrick T. Malone – Jack Gordon, former president of the Hospice Foundation of America, once said: “In a very real sense in our society, the workplace has become a kind of extended family. Businesses have responded to the changing needs of American families by adding programs that reflect this connection between work and life. [...]
The Importance of ‘Acknowledging’ Those Who are Grieving
|
April 3, 2009
3 Responses
By Patrick T. Malone — “No one is listening to me!” This is one of the most common complaints you will hear from bereaved individuals. It occurred to me that what they are really saying is simply, “Acknowledge me.” The following excerpt from our new book, Cracking the Code to Leadership, may help you listen [...]
Grief and the Global Economic Challenge
|
March 13, 2009
Leave a response
By Patrick Malone – Technically, grief is the intense emotional suffering caused by a loss. If you are among those who have suffered the death of a child, spouse, parent or grandparent, you know an intense level of grief that is almost indescribable. There are many among us today who are dealing with grief due [...]
Reflections of a Bereaved Dad, Part 6: Rainbows Above You
|
June 25, 2007
4 Responses
So as it often does, once again, how we manage our grief becomes a matter of choice. I remember Rich Edler once said, “We cannot change what happened, but we do have a choice what we do about it. Grief is inevitable. Misery is optional.” So here are some of our choices. We can choose [...]
Reflections of a Bereaved Dad, Part 5: Measures of Love
|
June 24, 2007
2 Responses
As many of you have been or are currently, I was consumed with the question WHY? I needed to make some sense out of these tragedies. Why was Scott, a normal full term baby, only to experience difficulties during labor and expire after only 16 hours of life? Why was Erin miscarried? Why did the [...]
Reflections of a Bereaved Dad, Part 4: Grieving Together
|
June 23, 2007
Leave a response
I believe that early on, I reached an intellectual understanding that my wife and I were dealing with grief differently. When I was up, she was down. When I was down, she was up. When she needed company, I needed to be alone and vice-versa. I sort of knew that but it didn’t really sink [...]
Reflections of a Bereaved Dad, Part 3: Asking for Help
|
June 22, 2007
Leave a response
I went back to work a couple of weeks after Lance’s death. I was very fortunate to have a caring and compassionate work environment. My partners and associates covered for me while I was off. When I returned they asked me how Kathy was doing. They spoke Lance’s name. They asked how his brothers, Bryan [...]
Reflections of a Bereaved Dad, Part 2: You Are Not Alone
|
June 21, 2007
Leave a response
Three or four weeks after Lance’s funeral we received an information packet from The Compassionate Friends (TCF). When I came home Kathy told me about the information and how it was a support group for bereaved parents and how she wanted to go to a meeting. I’m listening but honestly I’m thinking that this is [...]
Reflections of a Bereaved Dad, Part 1: Transform Misery into Treasured Remembrances
|
June 20, 2007
Leave a response
It’s hard for me to believe that March of this year was Lance’s 37 birthday and it will be 12 years this May since he died. It has been even longer for Scott and Erin. As I look back I realize that the passage of time provided some help but other influences in the form [...]
When an Employee is Grieving the Death of a Child
|
June 15, 2007
Leave a response
The Situation $37,500,000,000 Businesses are accustomed to putting a price tag on lost productivity and increased insurance costs associated with conditions from diabetes to those from life problems including substance abuse and depression. For the first time there is data available on the impact of grief in the workplace and the annual cost of grief [...]
