Articles

  • Is Visiting a Gravesite a Help?

    May 26, 2016

      We don’t visit our daughter’s grave. While this is a shocking statement for some, others understand our feelings. Whether or not to visit a gravesite is a personal decision, based on religious and spiritual beliefs, relationship with the deceased, the grief work that has been done, current feelings, and plans for the future. The […]

  • Managing A Death Anniversary

    May 19, 2016

    After losing my husband to brain cancer last year, I was often warned about the one-year anniversary of losing a loved one. The Death Anniversary. I was no stranger to this feeling; I had lost my father when I was a kid and my mother passed away the year before last… except this time was […]

  • Learning to Allow in the Face of Tragic Loss

    May 14, 2016

    Paralytic Loss. That was me at ground zero after losing my adult son Drew in the spring of 2011 to suicide. I was so unprepared for what followed, that my mind just sort of stopped, and everything I knew with certainty was simply washed right out of my brain. The reality is that suicide is […]

  • A Daughter Remembers Her Father’s Creative Legacy

    May 9, 2016

    My father, Geoff Relf, a longtime San Diego advertising and communications figure passed away July 28, 2015, at 85, after battling cancer, surviving his wife, Connie by five years. The couple met at the University of Washington and moved to San Diego in 1956, then to La Jolla in 1959, where they raised four children: […]

  • A Message for Mother’s Day: After Mother Has Died

    May 8, 2016

    Yesterday I received a text message saying, “I’m sorry I couldn’t call you back. I had a rough night.” I wasn’t keeping track and couldn’t readily remember what I’d called to say in the first place, so I asked if she was O.K. She responded telling me that a young friend had received a cancer […]

  • How I Survived my First Mother’s Day as a Grieving Parent

    May 5, 2016

    Our 19-year-old son Ben was buried May 2, 2008 – eight days before Mother’s Day. Even though I was still in shock, I knew enough to stay away from church that Sunday. Our minister had always made a big deal out of the holiday, and every mother left the service with a rose. My husband […]

  • Loss Changes Everything

    May 2, 2016

    I had one of “those days” recently – the kind of day when I feel a subtle but pervasive discomfort, uneasiness, agitation. Trying to feel better, I searched through the whole forest of my brain to determine what was wrong. It could be any number of things. Did I forget to pay a bill, or […]

  • Seasons of Remembering: Spring Brings Needed Change

    April 28, 2016

    It is amazing how tangible things can evoke some memory tucked away in the secret chambers of our thoughts. Like the changing of the seasons, like Spring. Trees that just yesterday were leafless and barren, now burst with leaf and  bud. And within the intricate xylem tissue, water and minerals are transported from the roots […]

  • When Lupines Bloom, I Think of Him

    April 25, 2016

    My husband Vic and I planted many pounds of wildflower seeds in our fields over the years. Wild grasses devoured some of them, but the lupines thrived and self-seeded on broad hillsides. On the day of Vic’s death in June 2008, lupines bloomed with wild abandon, erupting from the earth with thousands of tall purple […]

  • Sibling Loss Changes a Sister Left Behind

    April 25, 2016

    “Every loss is unique. The truth is, the worst loss is the one that is happening to you, the one that has picked you up and thrown you down and left you struggling to put your life back together.” — (Devita-Raeburn, 2004, p. 184) When I was 20 years old, I was awakened in the […]

  • Friends and Death

    April 23, 2016

    The Executive Director of The Compassionate Friends, Alan Pedersen, joins the Grief Relief show with Dr. Gloria Horsley. Dr. Darcie Sims joins the show to talk about how you lose and gain friends when you lose a loved one. Pedersen travels the world, sharing stories about his healing process from losing his daughter. He’s also […]

  • Returning to the Land of Loss: ‘Enfranchising’ our Grief

    April 21, 2016

    My cousin died last year, at least that’s how it felt for me. She actually died seven years ago, so my delayed sojourn into Loss has been very private…very lonely. Let me explain. I grew up in California and made family trips to Seattle to see my three cousins: Sarah, Susan and Sally. I am […]

  • Eight Years Later: My Five Stages Of Grief

    April 15, 2016

    The Swiss psychiatrist, Elizabeth Kübler-Ross, wrote in her 1969 book, On Death and Dying, about the various stages of grief that the bereaved know all too well. I’m sure many of us have heard this from our shrinks or bereavement groups. As I reflect back on the eight years since my 17-year-old daughter Casey’s suicide, […]

  • I Still Grieve my Father’s Silence

    April 13, 2016

    My wife pointed to a curved red slash on my leg. “Where’d you get those scrapes?” “Maybe from the dog when we played a couple of hours ago?” Our dog has raggedy claws and abundant enthusiasm. Two cats also own us and one, Milo, randomly treats our flesh like a pincushion. An errant branch could […]

  • Entering into a New Relationship after the Death of a Life Partner

    April 2, 2016

    How many photos are too many? One of the most charming questions I ever received in one of my second year spousal loss classes came from a middle-aged man named Sam. He said, “If I were to invite a woman over to dinner, how many framed pictures of my deceased wife would be too many?” […]

  • Spousal Loss: What Legacy of Loss Are You Passing on to Others?

    March 28, 2016

    The loss of your life partner is especially complex to manage because the two of you functioned as a couple for so long. As a result, you are not only dealing with the loss of your partner, but also the loss of your sense of self that was constructed through your interactions. The question becomes: […]

  • Easter After Our Daughter’s Death

    March 27, 2016

    “Come home, Mom,” my daughter screamed over the transatlantic phone. “Cyndi is dead, and we’ve been trying to reach you.”   All the money I had placed into the red lobster phone in Glastonbury, England, suddenly was swallowed up. The phone went dead. I looked at the woman behind me, waiting for her turn to make […]

  • Ron Villano: Finding ‘Zing’ in Your Life After the Loss of a Child

    March 24, 2016

    Drs. Gloria and Heidi Horsley welcome Ron Villano to a webinar about finding your “zing” after you’ve lost a child. Villano is a licensed psychotherapist, bereavement coach, national speaker, and author. Villano lost his son, Michael, and knows exactly how it feels to lose a child. His first tip is to give yourself permission to […]

  • Amy Florian: Finding Hope After the Loss of a Spouse

    March 23, 2016

    The founder and CEO of Corgenius, Amy Florian, shares her thoughts on losing a spouse and finding hope in the aftermath. As a bereavement consultant, she pursued her career based on her own experience. Her husband, John, was killed in an accident when they were in their 20s. She was shocked that the world kept […]

  • It’s Never Too Late to Grieve

    March 19, 2016

    How do I make peace and forgiveness with myself for not grieving and mourning my sisters Margie and Jane for 30 years? It is more the regrets, of years lost, of memories forgotten, of a soul missing, of dreams shattered, of a hole in my heart. Was the the pain too hard? I got used […]

  • My Adult Son’s Death Has Changed My Life

    March 17, 2016

    When someone we love dies…we are changed. When that someone is our child…we are changed forever, deeply, no matter how old they were. Letting go is not a possibility. Everything in my being was geared to hold on, to protect and to be aware of his life. It didn’t matter that he was an adult, […]

  • Sharon Taylor: Father Loss

    March 13, 2016

    A professor of psychology and the chair of the Women’s Studies department at St. Martin University, Dr. Sharon Taylor, talks with Dr. Gloria Horsley about father loss. Dr. Taylor’s father died at war when she was just a few months old. This was in 1945, right at the end of the war, and during this […]

  • Molly Pickett: Teens and Grief

    March 9, 2016

    Dr. Heidi Horsley discusses teens and grief with Molly Pickett, who works with the Tamarack Grief Resource Center. Pickett began her grief journey at just 12 years old when her father died by suicide. She considers herself fortunate to participate in camps at Tamarack. For her, the biggest help was knowing that she was seen. […]

  • Carl McDonald: Loss of a Child in a DUI Collision

    March 8, 2016

    A webinar from The Compassionate Friends, featuring Carl McDonald with the National Law Enforcement Initiatives, focuses on losing a child from an impaired driving incident. The host, Dr. Gloria Horsley, knows exactly what it means to lose a child in a car crash—she lost her son, Scott, when he was only 17 years old. McDonald […]

  • Dr. Kay Fowler: Adult Sibling Loss

    March 6, 2016

    Adult sibling loss is a common disenfranchised loss. Dr. Heidi Horsley interviews Dr. Kay Fowler at an Association for Death Education and Counseling (ADEC) conference. Dr. Fowler is the editor of the ADEC Forum, and she lost three adult sisters in a 15 year period. The deaths of Jenny, Ann, and Mary Grace have largely […]

  • Bridget Park: Teens and Sibling Loss

    March 1, 2016

    The Executive Director of the Open to Hope Foundation, Dr. Heidi Horsley, talks to Bridget Park about losing a brother. Sibling loss is often a disenfranchised one. Park recommends leaning on your family and letting others love you and just be there for you. It’s tempting to push people away because you don’t want them […]

Open to Hope Radio

  • For the Ones Left Behind: A Guide for Helping Loved Ones After a Death

    May 23, 2016

    A death can shatter the lives of those left behind. Now, there are so many things to do. Who do you call? Where do you start? How can you help? Managing to survive in the aftermath of a loved one’s death is a daunting task. For the Ones Left Behind, A Guide for Helping Loved […]

Open to Hope TV

  • Episode 74: Grief Diaries

    May 10, 2016

    On this show Dr’s Gloria and Heidi Horsley interview Lynda Cheldelin Fell, Linda Bateman Gomez , Carol Scibelli and Christine Duminiak. These four women have found hope after loss and have contributed to the Grief Diaries brand of books created by Lynda Fell. Lynda is also the executive president of the newly formed National Grief […]

  • Episode 73: Replacement Children

    May 9, 2016

    On this show Dr.’s Gloria and Heidi Horsley interview Judy Mandel and Rita Battat Silverman regarding their books on children who become the replacement child for their deceased sibling. Rita is the co-author of Replacement Children: The Unconscious Script with a foreward by Katie Couric and Judy Mandel is the author of Replacement Child: a […]

  • Episode 72: Coping After Child Loss

    May 9, 2016

    On this show Dr’s. Gloria and Heidi Horsley interview bereaved parent and creator of the Grief Diaries brand of books, webinars, and film. The second guest is Barbara Hopkinson, bereaved parent and author of A Butterfly’s Journey To A New Normal. She is a certified Grief Recovery Specialist and a Compassionate Friends Chapter Leader. We […]

  • Episode 71: Coping With Cancer Loss

    May 4, 2016

    On this show Dr’s Gloria and Heidi Horsley interview Bill Goeren LCSW director of clinical services at CancerCare in Manhattan regarding services for those who are grieving the loss of a family member. The second guest is Nancy Cincotta psychosocial director of Camp Sunshine located in Maine providing support for children and their families who […]

  • Episode 70: Tuesday’s Children

    May 3, 2016

    On this show Dr’s, Gloria and Heidi Horsley discuss with Eileen Lynch MSW the loss of both her husband and brother-in-law on September 11, 2001 in the Twin Towers. The second guest is Sallie Lynch Development Consultant for Tuesday’s Children, Sallie discusses the lessons learned regarding community healing and resilience. A Tuesday’s Children video clip […]

  • Episode 69: Friends Helping Friends

    May 3, 2016

    On this show Dr’s Gloria and Heidi Horsley are joined by Dana Lerner bereaved mother of Cooper Stock. Jackie Kern and Matt Vidmar a teacher & coach at the Calhoun school discuss honoring and remembering Cooper. A video is shown of friends and teachers honoring Cooper. The show closes with Sam Horn and Jackson Lundy, […]

  • Episode 68: Grief Quest/ Music and Healing

    April 26, 2016

    On this show Dr. Gloria Horsley and Dr. Heidi Horsley discuss with Lilly Juliian bereaved parent/spouse and founder of COPE and her partner Jerry Winestock bereaved spouse about their book Grief Quest and their retreats and camps that have inspired thousands of individuals and families to find hope and healing. Jerry is also the author […]

  • Episode 67: Finding Hope After A Terrorist Attack

    April 26, 2016

    Joining Dr’s. Gloria and Heidi Horsley on this show are Melissa Pettignano, singer and songwriter and her mother Evelyn whose aunt/sister Arlene was killed in the World Trade Center and Mary Fetchet who Co-founded Voices of September 11th in 2001 following the death of her son Brad on 9/11. A clinical social worker, Mary created […]

  • Episode: 66: Mortality; Living Your Best Life

    April 26, 2016

    On this show Dr’s Gloria and Heidi Horsley interview Sara Feldman Sheehan and her husband Bobby Sheehan producers and directors of Mortal the first documentary that addresses the shifting paradigm in how we view life and death. The second guest is Lilly Julian bereaved parent of Michelle and founder of COPE with the mission of […]

  • 65: Sibling Loss

    March 9, 2016

    On this show Dr. Gloria Horsley and Dr. Heidi Horsley discuss the impact of losing a sibling with Elizabeth Devita-Raeburn whose brother Ted, died of an immune disorder. She is the author of “The Empty Room: Losing a Brother or Sister At Any Age”. The second guest will be Molly Gandour a documentary Filmmaker and […]

  • Episode 64: Talking About Grief

    March 9, 2016

    On this show Dr. Gloria Horsley and Dr. Heidi Horsley interview Rachael Stephenson an advocate for honest and open discussions regarding grief. A clip is shown from Rachael’s Ted Talk Against Grieving in Silence. Their second guest is John Welshons author of Awakening From Grief; One Soul, One Love, One Heart and When Prayers Aren’t […]

  • Episode 63: Finding Your Way Back to Joy After a Loss

    March 2, 2016

    On this show Dr. Gloria Horsley and Dr. Heidi Horsley interview John Welshons counselor, teacher and lecturer.  As a young child John contracted polio and faced death but had a miraculous recovery. He is the author of Awakening From Grief; One Soul, One Love, One Heart and When Prayers Aren’t Answered.  Tribute is paid to […]