Dr. Heidi Horsley has experienced miscarriages in her life, making this episode of The Grief Relief Show particularly close to her heart. Along with her mother and co-host, Dr. Gloria Horsley, they talk with Chandrama Anderson, MFT, and author of No U-Turn at Mercy Street: A Memoir and Resource Guide for Grieving Parents. Dr. David Adamson, MD, the Director of Fertility Physicians of Northern California and clinical professor at Stanford University’s School of Medicine also joins the show along with LCSW, Beth Jaeger-Skigen. A miscarriage loss is often disenfranchised, and that’s especially true in regards to the father as well as other family members.

IVF, a treatment method that can increase the odds of a woman getting pregnant via manual fertilization of the egg, has made great leaps and bounds in the past few years. Dr. Adamson is an expert in IVF, and notes that it’s been a great means for many families to get pregnant, with five million children being born via IVF in the past 30 years.

The Loss Nobody Talks About

Anderson has suffered five miscarriages in her life, as well as the death of her daughter Callie (who was an adolescent when she died). Anderson encourages everyone to remember that you’re a couple with your partner first. Don’t make sex all about procreation, because that can be a tough burden on a relationship. Some people may want to talk about miscarriages a lot, some just a little, but if you know someone who’s had a miscarriage letting them know you’re available to listen is critical.

Jaeger-Skigen went through the IVF process herself three times unsuccessfully. Later, it was successful and she gave birth to healthy twins. She knows how challenging IVF and pregnancy can be, especially since she’s a therapist who specializes in pregnancy and fertility challenges.