Crying is Okay, for Men Too

Many people today are talking about the loss of our freedoms and working opportunities. Loss of financial options. Loss of trust in the government, the banking system, the schools.

And while loss is loss no matter how we cut it, those of us who lose loved ones suffer the most. And as the first anniversary of my father’s passing loomed, I found myself getting more angry, depressed and tearful.

At first, I didn’t know what to do. I thought I was past it.

I have tried so hard to be positive, to look at the loss directly by blogging and writing my upcoming books on living fully.

Yesterday, it came to me. My tears are something to be grateful for. Tears are telling me about me, the “me” I rarely look at. The “me” that was created before I really had words or the ability to think logically about the world around me. Tears were my infantile method of releasing stress. Thank God for releasing stress!

But as an adult, tears can create stress. Tears are embarrassing. Others want to help and they can bring me a glass of water, cup of tea or coffee. They can give me a shoulder to cry on. They can reassure me that everything is going to be all right. But still the tears flow.

And letting the tears flow yesterday, I remembered what I learned some months ago. It’s what to do when life gets hard. It’s Be GReaT. (BGRT.)

I noticed that there was a way I often got through my crises. They became more manageable with four simple steps.

1. Breathing to center into my body and allow it to relax.

2. Giving thanks and/or service to others who are in pain.

3. Reflecting on the lessons and gifts that always follow a trial.

4. Treating the problem with precise tools once those tools were identified.

But first, one might have to deal with tears. You see, this infant whose tears are flowing out of an adult’s face needs to know there is a way past the tears. In my childhood, it might have been a sweet treat, a bottle, a funny face Dad made, a kiss on the sore spot, a blanket or plush toy, or a loving affirmation.

Today, that child inside can still hurt and feel tremendous loss. Today, I want to recognize that child’s pain, frustration or fear of abandonment. I want to let it cry to relieve the stress. Then I offer a plan. He can Be GReaT. He can

Breathe and relax.

Give, taking the focus off of his anguish

Reflect on what’s coming next- it’s going to be great

Treat the problem like an empowered adult.

One step at a time, but he will get there and he will be great.

 

Rich Guy Miller

More Articles Written by Rich Guy

Rich Guy Miller is a lifelong writer, who started copywriting, editing and ghostwriting professionally in 2007. Rich authored over a hundred articles for local newspapers and magazines (The North County Voice and Vista Magazine), editing and ghostwriting for local businesses and authors (Comfort Remedies [For Life on an Uncomfortable Planet], The 55 Minute Natural Fix and The Entrepreneur that Could), creating and editing web content as well as press kits (Elevated Printing and Graphics, Vol-Spec of Escondido, PC Guru, SafeKeeping House Inspection, etc.) . His interest in Internet marketing keeps him an active student of business. Rich's life took a turn when his father passed away in 2011. With a writing focus he had never experienced before, he tore into topics like the meaning of life, health, vitality and longevity, blogging his findings at LifeForeverNow.com. This flurry of study, combined with lucid dream experiences, created five new books and a plan to share more information online by hosting video interviews on the four subjects of Clarity, Longevity, Vitality and Rebirth. These shows will be available at LifeForeverNow.net and the Life Forever Now YouTube channel. Rich lives with his wife, Gloria Clarke, in Oceanside, CA

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  • Sarah Foster says:

    Awesome tips to help get through a crisis and make it more manageable. I also love how you address that it is OK to cry, even the men. Most men refuse to show the tears. They bottle them up inside and let it turn to anger and frustration. I do not know whether it is that they think they are “macho” or refuse the let themselves be vulnerable for a moment. Crying, as you mentioned, is a natural response to stress and was the way we coped with it as infants. How can it not be OK? It is OK to be vulnerable and not “macho” for a moment. You will feel all so much better and be able to deal with your crisis (loss) with a clearer head to get through the loss.