After my husband died, I began to eat “carry out dinners.” And I ate them alone, sitting on the couch in the den.
Then one night, while I was standing in a Mexican restaurant waiting for my order, the man asked if I wanted the meal for “carry out or eating in.” I looked around and thought, “I deserve to eat in this restaurant with others, even though my husband died.”
I said, “IN!” and then I sat down at a table. Other widows I’ve spoken to have had a similar experience. And they agreed that it felt so nice to finally sit down in a restaurant and eat supper again the way others do.
When I’m “eating in” a restaurant, I chew more slowly, I take smaller bites. I put down my fork and look around and sipped my drink. There is a sense of relaxation I don’t feel eating at home alone.
Recently, I noticed a flyer on a Senior Center bulletin board announcing the next meeting of “The Supper Club.” Each month, this group goes to a different restaurant in the area. The cost is about $25 per person including full dinner, tax and tip. But the pleasure of being at a “party” is immeasurable.
My widows group plans to participate in this Supper Club, and we thought every Senior Center should offer the same thing. Check and see if your neighborhood Senior Center does. If not, talk to the management and suggest it. You can determine any price point that suits your group.
That’s how important change comes about.
Tags: grief, hope
Nice to see you starting to ventur out and engaging once again. Nothing will ever take your memories away of your husband but by sharing and being in others company will make your loss feel a little lighter. Keeping your mind occupied is the best thing you can do.
I, too, do not like going out to eat alone, but sometimes I just need other people around so I take a book with me, but I don’t always read it. What I need is someone to travel with. The cruise and tour companies charge a huge fee if you are ‘single’ (and how I hate that word, as I was married for over 50 years to my husband). Is there a ‘list’ somewhere for widows who want to travel but need a companion to share the hotel room or ship cabin?