Children have a special ability to see and hear from our deceased loved ones. Those of you, whose children have experienced this beautiful phenomena, if you believe them, you will find enormous comfort in knowing that your loved ones in Heaven continue to watch over you, and especially your children. The connection and love continues [...]
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‘Daddy Died, Mommy. Are You Going to Die, too?’
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January 13, 2012
2 Responses
When children lose one of their parents to death, they may worry that their other parent will die as well. This worry can also come if another person who has been very important to them (such as a grandparent) dies. What can we do to keep those worries to a minimum? We lay the first [...]
‘I Can’t Tell Them I’m Dying’
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January 5, 2012
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A reader writes: I am married and the mother of three children. I have been told by my doctors that I have a rare and terminal illness. My husband and children love me and need me, and they do not know that I am dying because I cannot tell them. How can I tell the [...]
Young Widow Watches Sons Grow into Men
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November 4, 2011
1 Response
I am a mom of two boys. I am mom to two boys who do not have their father around anymore as a model. I am a mom who, beyond words, loves being a mom of boys. When my husband died seven years ago, I knew that finding positive, male role models for my young sons would [...]
Helping Children Cope with Grief during the Holiday Season
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November 2, 2011
2 Responses
Holidays are normally a time of joy and celebration amongst families; however, they can heighten children’s sense of loss. Whether it is loss from a death or a divorce, a child is more likely to acknowledge the fact that the relative is missing during these times that are spent with family. According to recent census [...]
Grieving for the Sister She Never Knew
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October 15, 2011
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Savannah, our third child, was welcomed into this world in May of ’99. I like to think she was specially chosen for our family by her older sister, Alexandria. Alexandria was too ill to stay with us. She died early in ’98, seven days after her birth, from a chromosome abnormality. She spent her brief [...]
‘Happy’ Holidays? Not for the Newly Bereaved
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October 2, 2011
1 Response
This holiday season, an estimated one in 20 Americans will be grieving the loss of someone dear. And for some bereaved folks, the loss is so profound in their lives that they shudder at the thought of celebrating anything, especially a season that is supposed to be merry and jolly. If you are dreading [...]
When Mom Dies: A Big Sister Writes to Her Little Sister
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September 25, 2011
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(This piece is an excerpt from a longer work entitled Mind Pictures) The days in the hospital right before our mom died are mostly a blur. I remember that you and Dad and I sat by her bed as long as we were allowed. I remember the heart monitor and the unsettling, uncertain blips on [...]
A Children and Grief Story
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September 12, 2011
1 Response
My gramma’s grief over the loss of her only child devoured me! To see and hear her wailing and knowing she couldn’t stop was heartbreaking and frightening. Her sadness, and my inability to do anything about it grieved me, possibly as much as the grief I felt for the loss of my mother. I was eleven [...]
Talking to Your Children about 9/11
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September 9, 2011
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It’s hard to believe, but this September 11th is going to be the 10th anniversary of 9/11. For most of us, this milestone anniversary is bound to provoke a lot of powerful emotions. As we remember back to that tragic day, many of us will be filled with images of fear, disbelief, and incredible sadness. [...]
Osama bin Laden’s Death: Tips for Talking with Your Child
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May 5, 2011
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The news this week of Osama bin Laden’s death evokes countless emotions. As I look back on the tragic day of September 11, 2001, I shudder with the memories of fear for our country and the immensity of how Rainbows For All Children could help the families who had loved ones die. There’s also the [...]
100 Great Stress Busters for Kids
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January 14, 2011
2 Responses
Stress is the normal nervous tension we feel in our bodies when we are making a transition in our life. Change is sometimes predictable like the birth of a baby, transferring to a higher school grade or graduation from high school. Then there are changes that happen unexpectedly, like coming down with a major illness, [...]
Edwards Children Will Need Adult Help as They Grieve
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December 9, 2010
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The death of Elizabeth Edwards this week leaves three children without their mother, including two children ages 12 and 10. What can the Edwards family and friends do to help them through their grief? Research by psychoanalysts at the Chicago Institute for Psychoanalysis on The Effects of Early Parent Deaths showed: The most important thing [...]
Welcome Mat for Grief in the School Counselor’s Office
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November 15, 2010
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I had my back to my office door as I was pounding away on the computer, writing parent permission letters to attend a grief group. After sensing a presence, I turned and saw a student standing there, somber, yet alert and extremely pensive. “Hi, I’m Mrs. J.” I smiled, staying seated, somehow believing it was [...]
7 Tips for Helping Grieving Children
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November 10, 2010
6 Responses
The leaves fall in clusters from the huge branches overhead laying a thick crimson-orange blanket over my yard. School has been in session for a couple of months now, and special family celebrations are fast approaching. Holidays, birthdays and other special occasions are a time when faith, family and friends are what matter most. Bereaved [...]
Explaining Grandmother’s Death to a Toddler
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September 15, 2010
3 Responses
Question from a Reader: Basically, everything I’ve ever read recommends that a toddler not be shielded from the truth, and I believe that. However, there is a set of special circumstances here. My daughter saw her grandmother every day since she was born, as my mother cared for her while I was at work. The [...]
A Memory Game for Grieving Children
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September 4, 2010
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This version of the typical children’s memory game (known in some circles as Concentration) is for grieving families to share memories of a departed one. It was therapeutic for me to make, and while playing, the kids rehearse memories as they refine their recall and spacial skills. Materials: – cardboard large enough to make your [...]
Children Without Grief Support May Turn to Bullying
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July 7, 2010
2 Responses
News headlines are increasingly filled with tragic stories of youth becoming violent because they seemingly are lashing out to their peers as a way of expressing their anger, which I believe is often a result of a significant change in their family. While bullying is a recent issue in the public eye, it is an [...]
Graduation Historic Day for Parentless Children Raised by Grandparents
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July 1, 2010
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June was graduation month for most American high schools. Our twin grandchildren graduated then, and my husband and I attended the ceremony. It was an emotional experience because we are GRGs, grandparents raising grandchildren. We assumed these roles after our grandchildren’s parents — our daughter and son-in-law — were killed in separate car crashes. Graduation [...]
Teens Often Best at Consoling Each Other
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June 26, 2010
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I’ve gotten accustomed in my 60s to having that phone call that a friend has become very ill or died. It’s not that I’m callused but I’m knocking on the door of the Golden Years. But it’s always a shock to the system — physically, emotionally, and spiritually — when a young person dies suddenly. [...]
Mother Finds Comfort in Living Her Daughter’s Values
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June 6, 2010
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On the first anniversary of our daughter’s death, my husband and I held a graveside service in her memory. It was a brief service because the February temperature hovered around zero and the wind chill was fierce. Despite the weather, 10 people gathered to remember her. I passed out a list of our daughter’s values. [...]
Mourners Surrounded by Sacred Moments
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May 22, 2010
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Ever since my daughter died from the injuries she received in a car crash in 2007, I’ve become more aware of the sacred moments in my life. Before she died I thought I was aware of these moments, but this turned out to be untrue. I was sort of aware of them. Other family members [...]
‘Sole Parenthood’ Challenges Young Widow and Her Kids
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May 12, 2010
5 Responses
There are times when, as a sole parent, I feel as if I’m carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. When I say “sole” parent, I mean only parent. There is no other parent around to pick up the kids every other weekend. There is no one that can in-case-of-emergency run and grab [...]
Help Grieving Children Know They are Not Alone
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April 3, 2010
2 Responses
By Howard Winokuer, Ph.D., LPC, NCC, FT, and Heidi Horsley, Psy.D, LMSW, MS “What we have once enjoyed we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us.” — Helen Keller The death of a child is traumatic. It often turns one’s life upside down and puts everything we ever believed [...]
Haiti’s Children Need Emotional Support after Quake
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March 19, 2010
1 Response
As the world pulls together to deliver physical necessities such as food, water and shelter, we must remember to respond to the emotional healing that is needed nationwide in Haiti as well. Following the earthquake, the children will experience post-traumatic stress and they will have deep scars, physically and emotionally, that must be tended to. [...]
