When children lose one of their parents to death, they may worry that their other parent will die as well. This worry can also come if another person who has been very important to them (such as a grandparent) dies. What can we do to keep those worries to a minimum? We lay the first [...]
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‘I Can’t Tell Them I’m Dying’
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January 5, 2012
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A reader writes: I am married and the mother of three children. I have been told by my doctors that I have a rare and terminal illness. My husband and children love me and need me, and they do not know that I am dying because I cannot tell them. How can I tell the [...]
Young Widow Watches Sons Grow into Men
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November 4, 2011
1 Response
I am a mom of two boys. I am mom to two boys who do not have their father around anymore as a model. I am a mom who, beyond words, loves being a mom of boys. When my husband died seven years ago, I knew that finding positive, male role models for my young sons would [...]
Helping Children Cope with Grief during the Holiday Season
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November 2, 2011
2 Responses
Holidays are normally a time of joy and celebration amongst families; however, they can heighten children’s sense of loss. Whether it is loss from a death or a divorce, a child is more likely to acknowledge the fact that the relative is missing during these times that are spent with family. According to recent census [...]
Grieving for the Sister She Never Knew
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October 15, 2011
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Savannah, our third child, was welcomed into this world in May of ’99. I like to think she was specially chosen for our family by her older sister, Alexandria. Alexandria was too ill to stay with us. She died early in ’98, seven days after her birth, from a chromosome abnormality. She spent her brief [...]
A Children and Grief Story
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September 12, 2011
1 Response
My gramma’s grief over the loss of her only child devoured me! To see and hear her wailing and knowing she couldn’t stop was heartbreaking and frightening. Her sadness, and my inability to do anything about it grieved me, possibly as much as the grief I felt for the loss of my mother. I was eleven [...]
Talking to Your Children about 9/11
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September 9, 2011
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It’s hard to believe, but this September 11th is going to be the 10th anniversary of 9/11. For most of us, this milestone anniversary is bound to provoke a lot of powerful emotions. As we remember back to that tragic day, many of us will be filled with images of fear, disbelief, and incredible sadness. [...]
Osama bin Laden’s Death: Tips for Talking with Your Child
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May 5, 2011
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The news this week of Osama bin Laden’s death evokes countless emotions. As I look back on the tragic day of September 11, 2001, I shudder with the memories of fear for our country and the immensity of how Rainbows For All Children could help the families who had loved ones die. There’s also the [...]
100 Great Stress Busters for Kids
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January 14, 2011
2 Responses
Stress is the normal nervous tension we feel in our bodies when we are making a transition in our life. Change is sometimes predictable like the birth of a baby, transferring to a higher school grade or graduation from high school. Then there are changes that happen unexpectedly, like coming down with a major illness, [...]
Welcome Mat for Grief in the School Counselor’s Office
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November 15, 2010
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I had my back to my office door as I was pounding away on the computer, writing parent permission letters to attend a grief group. After sensing a presence, I turned and saw a student standing there, somber, yet alert and extremely pensive. “Hi, I’m Mrs. J.” I smiled, staying seated, somehow believing it was [...]
7 Tips for Helping Grieving Children
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November 10, 2010
6 Responses
The leaves fall in clusters from the huge branches overhead laying a thick crimson-orange blanket over my yard. School has been in session for a couple of months now, and special family celebrations are fast approaching. Holidays, birthdays and other special occasions are a time when faith, family and friends are what matter most. Bereaved [...]
Explaining Grandmother’s Death to a Toddler
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September 15, 2010
3 Responses
Question from a Reader: Basically, everything I’ve ever read recommends that a toddler not be shielded from the truth, and I believe that. However, there is a set of special circumstances here. My daughter saw her grandmother every day since she was born, as my mother cared for her while I was at work. The [...]
A Memory Game for Grieving Children
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September 4, 2010
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This version of the typical children’s memory game (known in some circles as Concentration) is for grieving families to share memories of a departed one. It was therapeutic for me to make, and while playing, the kids rehearse memories as they refine their recall and spacial skills. Materials: – cardboard large enough to make your [...]
Children Without Grief Support May Turn to Bullying
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July 7, 2010
2 Responses
News headlines are increasingly filled with tragic stories of youth becoming violent because they seemingly are lashing out to their peers as a way of expressing their anger, which I believe is often a result of a significant change in their family. While bullying is a recent issue in the public eye, it is an [...]
Teens Often Best at Consoling Each Other
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June 26, 2010
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I’ve gotten accustomed in my 60s to having that phone call that a friend has become very ill or died. It’s not that I’m callused but I’m knocking on the door of the Golden Years. But it’s always a shock to the system — physically, emotionally, and spiritually — when a young person dies suddenly. [...]
Help Grieving Children Know They are Not Alone
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April 3, 2010
2 Responses
By Howard Winokuer, Ph.D., LPC, NCC, FT, and Heidi Horsley, Psy.D, LMSW, MS “What we have once enjoyed we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us.” — Helen Keller The death of a child is traumatic. It often turns one’s life upside down and puts everything we ever believed [...]
Haiti’s Children Need Emotional Support after Quake
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March 19, 2010
1 Response
As the world pulls together to deliver physical necessities such as food, water and shelter, we must remember to respond to the emotional healing that is needed nationwide in Haiti as well. Following the earthquake, the children will experience post-traumatic stress and they will have deep scars, physically and emotionally, that must be tended to. [...]
Talking With Grandchildren About Loss
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February 27, 2010
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“Grandma, why are you crying?” This was the question, as a six-year-old, that I remember asking my beloved Grandma Jensen as she cleaned out her attic. Among the treasures we found sorting through the bows and arrows, large magnets, and an ancient violin were a number of pairs of white cotton gloves. My grandmother, being raised [...]
What to Say to Children About Death
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February 5, 2010
1 Response
Death is a difficult and sensitive topic to discuss with children. So often adults feel at a loss for words. Without knowing what to say or how to say it, many parents and professionals avoid children’s questions. Some refuse to respond at all. Eight-year-old Alice explained a disturbing event. She told her teacher about her [...]
Helping Children Grieve During the Holidays
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January 3, 2010
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The holiday season is painful for adults after the death of a loved one, but it can be even more isolating and distressing for children if they are not given ample guidance from the adults in their lives. Here are some suggestions for how to help your children during the holidays: 1. Suppress the urge [...]
Helping the Grieving Child in School
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November 23, 2009
1 Response
Children’s grief should be seen as an ongoing life process that is approachable through words, activities and non-verbal communication. Educators can use this understanding to create a safe environment for parents, teachers and children to acknowledge and process difficult feelings. So often adults rely on the prevailing myth that children are too young too grieve. [...]
Death of Child Affects Relationships Throughout Family
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November 12, 2009
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When anyone we love dies our lives are changed; things we had planned will no longer be the same. The death of a child is often the least expected death, and the ongoing effect upon the remaining family can seem endless. One of the commonest things I hear said is: “You don’t expect to attend [...]
Christmas ‘Gifts’ Never the Same After Sister’s Death
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November 8, 2009
2 Responses
Nothing that can be wrapped in a box could ever compare to the “gift” of my older sister, Dawn. I still miss her keenly around the holidays, but I am thankful that she was a part of my childhood. Today, as Christmas approaches, holiday memories poignantly remind me of how love, life and loss can [...]
“New Song” Organization Helps the Bereaved
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November 1, 2009
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by Sandy Fox If your family has suffered the death of a loved one and needs support dealing with the pain and the grief journey, an organization called NEW SONG, started in the Phoenix, Arizona, area provides nurturing support for grieving children and their families. It also offers comprehensive grief education for volunteers and professionals [...]
Children’s book deals with sibling loss
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October 6, 2009
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My first book, The Glass Table, for children 8-12 years, has just launched today on Amazon.com. In The Glass Table, fourteen-year-old Jack Irwin-Hunter hikes to Lake Como after running away from home. Since his younger brother was killed in a tragic accident, Jack has suffered alone while his parents mourned their loss. He believes his [...]
