There is value in writing things down, especially when you’re struggling with the symptoms of grief. I decided to make a list of the all the things we’d done that had seemed to help us, with the intention of sharing them with others. I call these things “tools.” ü Anti-depressants – Talk with your physician [...]
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A Valentine Wish for Bereaved Parents
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February 12, 2012
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Happy Valentine’s Day to everyone! I’ve listed for you some things you can do on this special day in memory of your child. Children always loved this holiday for its sweet cards, candy, stuffed animals and going out to eat. And I’m sure you will miss those moments when your child surprised you with that [...]
A Letter to Suicide Survivors
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January 25, 2012
3 Responses
Dear Suicide Survivors: You are not alone. I know it feels that way, but I can assure you that there is help. I know you feel that no one can relate to what you’re going through, that your world is hopeless, and that your life will never be worth living. I understand. I felt the [...]
Help Can Come from Unexpected Sources, Like Ukelele Music
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January 22, 2012
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Years ago, I heard an author say all life experiences applied to a book when he was writing it. The same could be said of grief support. When you’re grieving, you may find help in unexpected places and from unexpected people — like a professional ukulele player. Today, as I was surfing television channels, I [...]
‘Daddy Died, Mommy. Are You Going to Die, too?’
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January 13, 2012
2 Responses
When children lose one of their parents to death, they may worry that their other parent will die as well. This worry can also come if another person who has been very important to them (such as a grandparent) dies. What can we do to keep those worries to a minimum? We lay the first [...]
Creating Positive Affirmations for a New Year
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January 6, 2012
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Losing four family members in 2007 changed my thinking. I wondered if I would survive multiple losses. More worrisome, I wondered if I would ever be happy again. It didn’t take long for me to realize I needed an attitude adjustment. Somehow, I had to turn my negative thoughts to positive ones. I began to [...]
Finding Peace in Your Breath this Holiday Season
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December 28, 2011
2 Responses
Like many of you, I miss my loved one this holiday season and like many others of you, I am still missing my child, my 21-year-old daughter. When we are grieving, we tend to hold our breath or take rapid shallow breaths. Additionally, our bodies secrete the stress hormone, and when the stress is elevated [...]
Christmas Grief: Tips for Enduring After a Child’s Death
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December 21, 2011
4 Responses
Anniversaries, birthdays, special memories and holidays intensify the pain after the death of a child. And although we may have discovered daily tools to help guide our everyday grief, December seems to require special tips and ideas to navigate the days leading up to the holiday dates. The following are some helpful ideas I have [...]
Dealing with Special Days: Anniversaries, Birthdays and Holidays
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December 6, 2011
2 Responses
Question from a reader: I am just 10 days away from the one year mark of my wife’s death, and the last few days have been horrible. I have that all-too-familiar feeling of dread in the pit in my stomach and I have a hard time concentrating on anything. I don’t know how to explain [...]
Twelve Things to Remember about the Holidays and Grief
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November 27, 2011
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1. That I could not predict how I would feel or react at any given moment. 2. That as much as I missed my loved ones I would miss them even more during the holidays. 3. That my feelings were normal. 4. That I have a right to be sad. Someone I loved very much [...]
This Holiday Season, Complete These Sentences…
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November 24, 2011
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When someone we love dies, most of us always wish for two things: one, that the death never happened, that our loved one had never gotten sick and died, or never gotten into an accident and died, and two, if we could just have one more day with them, one more day to say the things [...]
Cliffs Notes for the Beginning Griever
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November 21, 2011
2 Responses
How is it we are taught to love, work, marry, and procreate, but no one teaches us how grieve? The Victorians had it down to a science. They even had a parlor in their homes where they hosted the funerals of deceased family members. That’s where the term funeral “parlor” came from. People wore black [...]
The Holidays: Plan, Set Boundaries, Smile
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November 18, 2011
1 Response
For some reason, we all have embedded in our minds that once Thanksgiving arrives, it is time to increase the level of stress we place on ourselves. No matter what type of planning we do for the holiday season, we all tend to let the gift-giving and the changes in daily schedule and family dynamics [...]
Grief Soup: The Mix of Emotions
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November 16, 2011
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If only grief were simple: sadness, tears, missing that beloved person. If only we could be alone in stillness with the absence (and the starting presence) of that dear person we’ve lost. Maybe then we could simply rest in the plain sorrow of love and let our grief be. What you get, though, is it [...]
How Can I Be a Compassionate Caretaker?
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November 14, 2011
2 Responses
If you are not already a caregiver for someone with a chronic or terminal illness, statistics say you will be. It’s estimated that there are at least 45 million family caregivers in the United States and that number will keep rising as people live longer. You should assume that at least once in your life, [...]
Fear of Death Can Prevent Some From Seeking Medical Care
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November 8, 2011
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For some people, a loss brings an awareness of the fragility of one’s own life. During the bereavement process, the loss can magnify the anxieties and fear of death. If you are embracing this mind-set, long-term, it can become toxic to your health. It is critical to overcome such thinking to enable you to live a life [...]
Don’t Let a Loss Make You Give Up Your Dreams
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November 5, 2011
2 Responses
If you had asked me after my brother took his own life if I held revenge or a need for justice in my heart, I would have told you no. I was too broken, my emotional core was in too many pieces, and most of my feelings surrounded sadness. I would have said such deep [...]
Holiday Season Offers a Chance to Move Forward
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November 1, 2011
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As we walk the path of grief, we look for a passage to help us understand how to comprehend the complexities of anguish and how to channel our emotions into a constructive solution. Logically, we know waking every morning with a constructive plan for the day will help us walk the path of grief. However, [...]
Online Grief Site is Safe Space for the Bereaved
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October 17, 2011
1 Response
How can a person begin to survive the emotional roller-coaster ride one experiences after the death of a loved one? A father who outlives his child; a wife who tries to make sense of her husband’s suicide; a daughter who watches her mother suffer as cancer robs her of her dignity; a teenager in shock [...]
Helpful Tips For Managing the Holidays For the Bereaved
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October 9, 2011
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While grieving we go through many firsts as important dates come up on the calendar. Whether it’s the first anniversary, birthday or holiday, it’s good to have coping strategies in place to rely on to help us cope. The holidays can be a particularly difficult time. While we are used to being with our family [...]
Now I See: Grieving and Raising My Grandchildren
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October 5, 2011
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“You’re coming home with us,” I said. My husband and I and our twin grandchildren were standing by the hospital’s emergency entrance. Tragedy had found us again. Nine months ago, their mother (our daughter) died from the injuries she received in a car crash. Their fatherhad just died from the injuries he received in another [...]
Terminal Grief
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October 3, 2011
6 Responses
My life as I knew it ended on May 26, 2002, when my eighteen-year-old daughter Jeannine was diagnosed with alveolar rhabdomyosarcoma, a rare, aggressive and incurable form of cancer. Jeannine died on March 1, 2003, at the age of 18, approximately ten months after diagnosis. When she was diagnosed, the experience itself was surreal. In [...]
‘Happy’ Holidays? Not for the Newly Bereaved
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October 2, 2011
1 Response
This holiday season, an estimated one in 20 Americans will be grieving the loss of someone dear. And for some bereaved folks, the loss is so profound in their lives that they shudder at the thought of celebrating anything, especially a season that is supposed to be merry and jolly. If you are dreading [...]
Letting Go and Moving Forward
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September 29, 2011
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Let’s face it: we all have negative or bad experiences that we just cannot seem to get past. There are just certain things, that when remembered, always cause anxiety and anger to build up inside us. And we have to admit that sometimes we just don’t want to let go of these negative emotions and [...]
Reframing: Technique to Make the Good Memories Come Alive
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September 24, 2011
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When we lose a loved one, the reaction is extreme sadness and that sadness plays its role in the form of grief. Many times the circumstances of the death can cause undue mental distress for the bereaved. For example, many who lost loved ones in the September 11th tragedy may be struggling to rid their [...]
