One of the fondest memories I have with my Dad is the time we went fishing together.   I think I was about 8 or 9 and it was one of the greatest memories I have of my Dad and I doing something fun together.   Just like the good Cub Scout I was I wanted to make sure we were prepared and I kept checking the garage to make sure the fishing rods didn’t disappear that week.   Those babies were going to get some action come Saturday.

Now in my young brain, it felt like we got up at 5 AM on a Saturday morning.   It probably was more like 8 but wow did it feel early.   I remember I was so excited that I didn’t even eat breakfast that day.   It was a sunny day but not too hot.   I remember it took me 20 minutes to put the bait on the hook but it was worth the satisfaction of doing it myself.   I remember my Dad telling me to lie perfectly still with the fishing line and if you felt the slightest pull, reel it in.   So about a minute later I felt a pull, and it was a fish. I could see it on the edge of the rod beneath the murky water.   Then I finally saw it come out of the water.   I can’t tell you the utter feeling of satisfaction I had when I pulled that fish out of the water.   I could have cared less what else happened that day.   The fact that I caught a fish by myself was satisfaction enough.   More importantly I caught it in front of my Dad, hoping that he would be impressed by it.   He was supportive, especially after I tugged the rod one more time and the fish flopped on the deck.   I can still remember that day like it was yesterday.

And you know what?   I didn’t catch a fish the rest of the day.   My Dad caught two other ones, but we through them back in the water.   He helped me catch another one, but it never equaled the thrill I got from catching that first one.   I tell you this story because it was one of the great times in my life that I shared with my Dad, and it was the only time we ever went fishing.   To answer why we never went again would be to bore you with a myriad of excuses that even I can’t explain.   But I am really sorry we didn’t do it again.

When I was writing I Miss My Dad… it was so clear how the cover should look that I didn’t even think twice about it.   The front cover of the book is exactly how I want to remember my only fishing trip with my Dad, as a fond memory of us bonding together.   Three things to take away from our fishing trip together:

1. Do something fun-Fun comes in so many different forms for people.   For some it is shopping, others it is mountain biking.   Whatever your activity make sure it is one where you and your loved one are creating memories that last a lifetime.

2. Enjoy the moment-So often in life we do not take advantage of being in the present and NOW.   We are always worried about what we have to do tomorrow or in an hour.   It is important to appreciate the moment for what it is, a unique part of experiencing all the really good things in my life.   When I was fishing with my Dad nothing else mattered at that time-nothing.

3. Repeat the fun if possible-Always try to make it a regular ritual to go on your “fishing trip.”   Don’t stop the tradition when life gets in the way.   Shove other things aside and make room for creating new and lasting memories.   You never get that time back, and while this sounds like everybody has heard this before, try putting yourself in the position of not being able to do a fun activity with the one you love, and see how great this makes you feel.

To all of you out there grieving the loss of a loved one, remember your special “fishing trip” with that special someone in your life.   Know that the memories will live on and that you have the chance to create new memories with those left.   Be on the fun side of the “fishing trip.”

Always a friend to listen…

Eric Tomei-author I Miss My Dad…

Tags: grief, hope