Kids have such a great way of putting things into the proper perspective in life. They really make you realize that the happy times are really happy and should be celebrated and that the sad times aren’t all that bad and they will get better. Once a month, I schedule a visit with my goddaughter, Lauren. I truly look forward to hanging out and bonding with her especially since she is approaching big-girl age of 3 in May. It is so fascinating the way kids change day by day.
It was really a perfect day. The weather was nice, I had the day off of work and we did all sorts of fun stuff. We kicked the soccer ball around the backyard, were amazed at the fascination of a growing ant hill on the patio, we played on the swing set and took pictures of her monkey bar act (I was holding her the whole time), wiped her hands when we painted Easter eggs, told her that she better not eat that tortilla chip that fell on the patio and ate pizza together. It was really a lot of fun. She calls me Uncle E which is awesome the first couple of times a child recognizes you by name. And she says it kind of like Uncle E-E-E-E-E-E.
No matter if Lauren is the happiest little girl alive or she is throwing the biggest hissy fit of all time as all kids do, the bond that she has with my buddy and his wife (her Mom and Dad) can not be broken. When we were painting Easter eggs, she had her little Crayola smock on so she wouldn’t get her clothes all messy and she was so content. She accidentally got one of my buddy’s fingers with the paintbrush. She turned to him with those big, ocean blue eyes and said, “Sorry Daddy.” I think I am in real trouble when I have kids because my heart melted a little just then when she said that.
I think that is what I miss most about my Dad, the bond that we had. We were not buddy-buddy by any means but we were family, and at the end of the day family sticks together through the good times and the bad. I always felt that if I really needed my Dad for something big, he would always be there for me. It is tough not to have that extra support that is so often counted on when presented with life’s most difficult challenges.
Three things we can learn from little Lauren:
1. Everything can be fixed-Lauren had a fit for a couple of minutes right when we first got there and 2 seconds later she is happy and running everything is great. If we only had such short term memory when people who you love the most challenge us in unexpected ways.
2. Don’t take things so seriously-You will live to play another day is her motto. There is so much to do in her world. Play soccer, touch ants, climb monkey bars, watch videos. Lauren’s life is an adventure. Life is an adventure with our loved ones. It is probably the most fun ride you will ever go on.
3. Say you’re sorry- Just like Lauren had to apologize when she threw her little tantrum, be the bigger person and step forward with a sorry after a disagreement with a loved one. It takes so little time and effort and means so much. Don’t waste your time being mad or angry. It’s not worth it. Trust me.
So basically Lauren knows about as much as me in terms of how to deal with people. Pretty sad, isn’t it? Ha! But no matter how young or old we are, we can always learn something from somebody on how to strengthen our relationships with our loved ones.
Always a friend to listen,
Eric Tomei-author I Miss My Dad
Tags: grief, hope
