Dear Suicide Survivors: You are not alone. I know it feels that way, but I can assure you that there is help. I know you feel that no one can relate to what you’re going through, that your world is hopeless, and that your life will never be worth living. I understand. I felt the [...]
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When You Want to Join Your Loved One in Death
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January 19, 2012
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Many of you have found your way to this oasis of hope by following a trail of tears. Many of you grieve. Many of you have suffered under the heavy burden of loss. You find camaraderie here. Understanding. Unity. Friendship. Compassion. But it doesn’t replace the son, daughter, lover, friend or sibling that is no [...]
Suicide Survivor Seeks Solace
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January 17, 2012
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Suzanne, the mother of a young woman who died from suicide, gave me permission to share her article. — Carol Loehr It has now been two years (November 16, 2009) since my sweet Jessica died from suicide. Each day, I fight back the tears of her loss and try to “get on with life,” but late [...]
A Skeptic’s Journey Through Grief
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December 20, 2011
2 Responses
As a physician with a strong science background, I used to regard all things spiritual with a jaded eye—until the recent suicide of my young son, Erik. Since then, my life has been cleaved into two parts: The Before and The After, The Bliss and The Dark Despair. Everyone deals with grief differently. I heal [...]
Sister Honors Brother and Herself by Recovering from Loss
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December 5, 2011
2 Responses
A surprising secret about grief is it can become like a good friend, comfortable and routine. My only sibling, a younger brother, took his life years ago and for many years, I suffered like many people do. Grief was my life, and living well enough to appear okay to others was a great effort. But [...]
Suicide Leaves Family Struggling to Cope
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December 4, 2011
3 Responses
It was the light fingernail tapping sound on the window that put my dog Minnie on high-alert. She was barking and running around in circles with her usual reliable vigilance. Before I left my easy-chair, I quickly glanced at the clock on the end-table. It was 9:05 PM. I wasn’t expecting anyone. I thought it [...]
Cliffs Notes for the Beginning Griever
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November 21, 2011
2 Responses
How is it we are taught to love, work, marry, and procreate, but no one teaches us how grieve? The Victorians had it down to a science. They even had a parlor in their homes where they hosted the funerals of deceased family members. That’s where the term funeral “parlor” came from. People wore black [...]
Celebrating the Birth of Triplets While Mourning Dad’s Suicide
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November 12, 2011
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I wish you could have been there . . . It was quite a sight. Three infant car seats with tiny faces and six wiggling hands and feet. We were going home, but my father would not be there to greet us. I had spent the last four weeks of my pregnancy in the hospital, [...]
The Year of Firsts
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September 28, 2011
6 Responses
Imagine a young son who has struggled his whole life with pain and illness. His parents have cared for his physical needs and felt responsible for his emotional well-being. Now, imagine they are witnessing their twenty-five-year-old son die from a bullet by his own hand. That profound moment began our yearlong of firsts. I know [...]
Despite Husband’s Death, He’s ‘Always There’
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September 3, 2011
1 Response
When my late husband committed suicide, it felt as if I died too. The searing pain pierced my heart so deeply that I felt disconnected from everyday life. I would watch the world go by as if it were a movie, and I did not have a part. However, my two children needed my caring [...]
Son’s Suicide Reorders Family’s Life
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August 13, 2011
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Spring forced its way into Wisconsin in an unusual way in April, 1993. It strangely marked the day with headline news: “Blizzard.” It was Easter-time…a time when the sun typically began warming the earth and tulips emerged. Outside my window a cherry tree with long, thin branches swayed in the wind. The branches loaded with [...]
Widow Fears Sharing Thoughts of Suicide
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May 17, 2011
9 Responses
Question from a Reader: I know I’ve heard plenty of times that it is normal for ‘grievers’ to feel despondent and wish to be with their spouse who has passed on. But, it doesn’t feel like it’s normal to me because I don’t want to live any more, although I am not going to do [...]
Grieving With Help After My Son’s Suicide
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March 20, 2011
2 Responses
We were not left alone after our son, Joshua, died by suicide. People from across the states took the time to listen and some cried with us. It would take pages to mention them by name, but because of who he was to Joshua, I’ll chose one. After Joshua’s memorial, when the hall emptied out [...]
Grief and Joy
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January 29, 2010
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When I think of grieving, I think of pain and sadness. I think of my stomach in knots, tears flowing uncontrollably and a broken heart. Joy has no place in grief at first glance. To me, grief is like a precious vase or plate that shatters into pieces. You look at all of your feelings [...]
Suicide Survivorship: How To Resolve Your Guilt
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October 27, 2009
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No one can know the depth of despair to which a person may sink upon contemplation of suicide. Possibly, the black hole in which one finds him/herself gets deeper and darker as the days go by. Soon, even the smallest sliver of light is blocked from view. And then — instead of being frightening — [...]
The Story of My Father’s Suicide
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October 17, 2009
1 Response
Late one January morning in 2008, I fell asleep on the sofa, something I rarely did and haven’t done since. I was awakened to my house phone ringing, then my cell phone ringing, again the house, again the cell. I wasn’t ready to wake up completely so I didn’t answer the phone, hoping they would [...]
Years After Son’s Suicide, Mother Lives in Peace and Joy
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October 6, 2009
4 Responses
Sean died in the month of August. He was 16 years old, and he took his own life. He shot himself with his father’s hunting rifle. I never saw his body, but, in retrospect, I now know that it was for the best. I did not feel that way at the time. I begged to [...]
Using Laughter and Playfulness as an Antidote to Grief
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October 5, 2009
1 Response
I lost my close friend, Jim, to suicide in 2005. Instead of succumbing to the devastating pain, grief and guilt surrounding his death, I embarked on a journey of introspection, self-healing and giving to the community. As a self-proclaimed Giggle Coach, I am on a crusade to help people reclaim joy in their lives, or, as [...]
Living in the NOW: Retaking Your Life After a Loved One’s Suicide
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October 5, 2009
2 Responses
That Sunday morning that I found Adam’s body in the car in the garage was the worst day of my life. The horror that is suicide produces a grief that is like no other. It is not like the lingering death from cancer. In spite of the fact that death from a heart attack is sudden [...]
What Does Grief Look Like?
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September 23, 2009
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When my brother Rod killed himself the grief itself made me feel like I was going crazy. One minute I was okay and calm, the next I was hysterical. If we are in the depths of loss and grief, the intense emotions and sometimes lack of them often make us wonder, “Am I all right?” [...]
Trying to ‘Turn Grief Around’ After Brother’s Suicide
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September 19, 2009
4 Responses
By Allison Daily – Does grief end? It’s a question that varies for each person and depends in part on the person’s relationship to the one who has died. The death of a child is different than that of a parent or grandparent. The death of a spouse is different from that of a sibling or best friend. Men [...]
Wife’s Death by Suicide Complicates Man’s Grieving
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August 21, 2009
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Question from Nancy: My new partner and I have experienced much joy since finding each other. Both of us have been previously married, and both of us have children. Mine are 21 and 25, while his are 24, 31 and 34. My partner and his children have not yet held a memorial for their wife/mother [...]
Poem: Perhaps
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June 20, 2009
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By kristen spexarth – Perhaps it’s not an easy thing standing outside looking in to fathom how it feels to have lost a love to suicide, perhaps the gnawing grieving does not clamor at your being nor can you look and see the battle raging as raw feelings vie for my attention asserting reasons for [...]
Son’s 40th Birthday Would Have Been Today
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May 20, 2009
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Our son Keith died when he was almost 30 years old; that was 10 years ago. Today, May 20, 2009, he would have been 40 years old. As Keith’s birthday approached, I wondered what he would have accomplished in the last 10 years. Keith loved the outdoors, so I can still see him fishing, running, [...]
In Pieta, Michelangelo Captured Pain of the Bereaved
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May 12, 2009
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By Rev. Charles T. Rubey – The Pieta is on display in St. Peter’s Basilica in Rome. It is one of the more famous pieces of sculpture created by Michelangelo. It depicts Mary holding the crucified body of Jesus. This mother’s heart is broken as she views her child’s broken body. I thought of this [...]
