Katrina- My heart goes out to you. On August 25th, 2007, I laid my motorcycle down and as the tragic events go?that ride cost me my 10year old daughter. She was riding on the bike w/me. Brooke was my everything. I was there, I lived it and I live w/the lingering guilt everyday, I did this to her. I go to bed each night hating myself and wake up everyday wondering why people are so kind to me. If it weren?t for my 12 year old son, I think my husband would outwardly hate me for the responsibility I bare in the accident. I don?t know how to tell you how sorry I am for your loss, but I respect your feelings.
A response from Drs. Gloria and Heidi
Thank you for writing to console Katrina out of the depths of your own grief. Helping others is generally the surest way to find healing for yourself and we hope that is true for you.
We are so very sorry for your loss. It is such a short period of time since the death of your daughter and your wounds are still so very deep and so very raw. We strongly encourage you to see a grief counselor to help you work through the guilt you are feeling as well as the grief. We also encourage you to see if there is a Compassionate Friends group in your area. Each member of this group has lost a child and they truly understand. You will find support and compassion there rather than judgment. With this group you do not have to walk this path alone ? no one should have to do that. You can find their link on the first page of The Grief Blog or at http://www.compassionatefriends.org/? Perhaps your husband could find help here as well. And we recommend our new book Teen Grief Relief as well as counseling for your son if he is not already receiving help. Children often just don?t know how to handle their own feelings and don?t know what to do. It is a very difficult time for them and our book addresses that.
We invite you,? too, to listen on Thursday mornings to the radio show Healing the Grieving Heart? You can find information about it and a link to it on the first page of http://www.thegriefblog.com? You might also find a number of past shows that can give you help and comfort at http://thegriefblog.com/grief-grieving-death-of-a-child/
You are carrying a heavy burden now and we encourage you to be gentle with yourself.
We are posting your comments on the first page of The Grief Blog because we know it will bring help to others who read it and we are posting it as a comment to Katrina?s letter so she will be sure to see it.
Drs. Gloria and Heidi Horsley