My fiance died four days ago

Four days ago my fiance, Bob, died of a heart attack. We were true soul mates, for lack of a less cliched phrase. We had so much in common it was like we were twins. We had only been together for eight months, but after only a few months of dating became engaged. Every day with Bob was better than the last and we were joyfully anticipating spending the rest of our lives together.

I am completely devastated and wonder how I can go on without him. I know that this happens to other people all the time but it feels so overwhelming its hard to describe.

I would appreciate any help anyone can provide.

Barb

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  • Kim says:

    Hi Barb,

    Please accept my sympathies in the loss of your beloved Bob. I have not lost a signficant other, but I lost my oldest daughter almost 8 years ago.

    At this point, all you can do is take it one moment at a time and just focus on that. Continue to talk to him and share your sadiess and your love with him. Grief is a journey not a destination and it is something that doesn’t go away, but it is something that we learn to live with. Try to focus on all of the wonderful memories you had and the gratitude that he was a part of your life for 8 months. On the other hand, it is OK to be sad, mad or whatever you are feeling. Acknowledge your feelings whatever they are. Once you acknowledge them and feel them you can move through them. If you pretend you don’t have them or they aren’t there and just stuff them down, they will return on a different day until you begin the process of dealing with them.

    If I can be of any help to you Barb, here is my email address: kimberlywencl@gmail.com

    and I have a blog that might be helpful, Love Lives On at http://kimwencl.com

    Blessings to you as you begin this journey.
    Kim

  • Laurel says:

    Dear Barb, My husband of passed away two years ago. It wasn’t sudden and yet it was surprising. Grieving is a process. Find a bereavement group (usually a local hospice or spiritual center will have one), because there is no one roadmap for the journey you are on. This I can promise you … time will soften the wounds of your loss, not take them away, but hopefully coat them with the good memories you will have forever. Be kind and patient with yourself. Write in a journal, cry and just be. Tears have great healing power, let them flow. Be well and know that all who have suffered a loss send understanding your way. With respect, Laurel

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  • Tarah Hipple says:

    Hi Barb,
    My name is Tarah. I express my deepest condolences. I am only twenty years old but I know grief. I lost my brother to suicide and my sister’s fiance died tragically and unexpectedly. The important thing to remember is grieving takes time, so the best advice I can give you is to not shut it down; understand that you’re grieving, accept the steps, and you will begin to move forward. My dad told me that “you can’t get over it, but you can get through it.” I think what was hardest for me is that I wasn’t accepting my grief. I kept fighting it. Accept this process and know this site is for you to express how you feel.

    Sincerely,
    Tarah