Dear Abel, I lost my wife three months ago after a tragic accident. This may sound crazy to most people but I feel like dating again. Is it normal for men to feel this way so soon after the death … Continue reading
Losing a parent is never easy, no matter the circumstance or what segment of time in your life the loss occurred. The grief softens, but never leaves us. When holidays roll around, it is always a painful reminder of the … Continue reading
We’re all familiar with the different stages or phases in life – childhood to youth, youth to adulthood, and so on. Those stages could never happen if there wasn’t change ~ every day. Like a flower unfolding, each stage has … Continue reading
When I was in Brussels, Belgium, recently, I found a reference to Compassionate Friends (the organization for parents who have lost a child to death) and a couple’s phone number in a magazine called The Bulletin. I called the number … Continue reading
Cemetery Discomfort I have always been uncomfortable in cemeteries ever since I can remember. My discomfort surrounding cemetery visits magnified one hundred fold after my daughter Jeannine’s death in March of 2003. Watching my daughter’s coffin being lowered into the … Continue reading
Our last Mother’s Day together you bought me a hammock. I remember your excitement as I opened it and my anticipation as you gleefully put it together. We all tried it out of course, each of us one at a … Continue reading
My daughter died in 2007 from the injuries she received in a car crash. At the time of her death, she was soaring in life. She was a composite engineer, had an MBA, six industry certifications, a job she enjoyed, … Continue reading
On February 19, 2006, when Allan proposed to me at Hoff Jewelers at a mall in Maplewood, Minnesota, for some odd reason it never dawned on me that I’d be inheriting a mother-in-law too. I was 59 and Allan 60—youngsters … Continue reading
Just this morning I read a wise and timely quote from Eckhart Tolle: “As long as you make an identity for yourself out of pain, you cannot be free of it.” I’m always a bit amazed when words seem to … Continue reading
For many of us, Mother’s Day stirs something deeply loving. For others, ambivalent feelings abide. You see, after thirty-three years in the counseling field and drying the tears off many faces, I can accurately say that not every woman feels … Continue reading
Have you ever wished you had a huge remote and could fast-forward through something? A tedious conversation, or maybe the perky dental hygienist with a terrifying tray of metal weapons? I have. Mother’s Day isn’t supposed to be on that … Continue reading
Several months after my husband died, something happened that caused me to laugh. I was surprised at how good it felt. It also surprised me when I thought about how long it had been since I had last laughed, so … Continue reading
Life is full of choices. What we don’t always understand is that happiness is a choice, too. It seems strange that being happy would be a choice, but that is one of the things I learned when I was caught … Continue reading
When I was first widowed, my overriding thought was that I couldn’t survive it, and I did not wish to. But the thought that I couldn’t go on without him was simply not true: it felt true, but it wasn’t. … Continue reading
As we approach Mother’s Day, I am drawn to reflect on my experiences of being mothered and on how those experiences directly and indirectly affected my own mothering and continue to influence my grand-mothering. Each night during my childhood, mother … Continue reading
Please don’t be afraid. Yes, life is different now but remember when it was beautiful? Well, it will be again, though not the same. The wounds will heal, your tears will dry and though scars remain, I know you are … Continue reading
When I saw my daughter’s question on facebook after the Boston Marathon Bombing last week, I knew she was expressing a universal feeling of sadness and anxiety about the world we now live in. I knew she was worrying about … Continue reading
Grief creeps into our lives in so many ways. Loved ones die, friends or family move away, children grow up and leave home, jobs change, pets die, a treasured possession becomes damaged or lost. And these are just some of … Continue reading
The bombings in Boston have left me in tears. Every time I hear the news, see the photos of those who died or were wounded, I want to curl up and block it all out. It is much the way … Continue reading
Sharing gives voice to difficult loss and painful grief. But it also helps others to know they are never alone. And that is a wonderful way to honor the lives of our loved ones.
None of us are exempt from potential tragedy and no matter how close a relationship we have with our loved ones, or even with God, it does not keep us from experiencing tragedy from time to time. Nothing guarantees that … Continue reading
Alone after the sudden death of my 54 year-old husband, I struggled to figure out who I was and where I was headed in life. Trying to find the “Diane” within, I reconnected with hobbies of the past and at … Continue reading
When great change comes into our lives, we may feel as though we are in a foreign land. All seems strange and different somehow, and we may feel hesitant or unsure as to how to proceed. To be sure, a … Continue reading
As I read about the grieving process, I noticed many suggest we should do something nice for someone else. It’s hard to think of reaching out to another person when you feel so broken, but doing so opens our eyes … Continue reading
After you lose someone you love very much, it is only natural to think about that person in a very positive way. But sometimes we can go too far, and if we do, we end up with unrealistic memories. I … Continue reading