My Reasons for Journaling Are Different Now I am a firm believer in creating and maintaining a written journal after loss or other life altering transitions. Journaling is a way to put uncensored thoughts and feelings on paper. Journaling also … Continue reading
Dear Abel, My wife passed away a little over a year ago. We were married for 17 years. I started dating six month after she died. After dating around for a bi,t I finally started dating someone exclusively last month. … Continue reading
Nature and all that it encompasses can bear many blessings. A glorious sunset, a gentle rain and a cool breeze can soothe us even in the most tumultuous of times and perhaps even provide valuable teachings that promote clarity on … Continue reading
The shock of major events, such as the Oklahoma tornado or the Boston bombing, can be overwhelming, even when we are miles away from the event. The anger, shock, grief we feel for our fellow humans rock our boat like … Continue reading
There is nothing more important or powerful in our lives than our faith. I have had a wonderful experience about a presence more powerful than ourselves. I have seen the movies, books and specials through out the media world about … Continue reading
When unexplainable things happen, as they did in Oklahoma this week, it would be easy to be angry, or even afraid, but anger and fear come from darkness, and what we need now is light. So let’s keep holding the … Continue reading
I was a youth minister when the Columbine school shooting occurred many years ago. It was my first experience with public tragedy that affected youth directly during my professional ministry. As the tragedy occurred, I knew I had a group … Continue reading
It was about 5 a.m. on an Easter morning. It was still dark outside when I was awakened by a nerve-shattering noise, like a screech from a trapped animal or an uncanny moaning from another world. As I roused myself … Continue reading
In the past year, I’ve lost two women in my family from cancer. I’ve felt the searing loss and pain that these deaths have brought, in part because I am in remission from cancer myself. Twice. Seventeen years apart. Because … Continue reading
Dear Abel, I lost my wife three months ago after a tragic accident. This may sound crazy to most people but I feel like dating again. Is it normal for men to feel this way so soon after the death … Continue reading
Losing a parent is never easy, no matter the circumstance or what segment of time in your life the loss occurred. The grief softens, but never leaves us. When holidays roll around, it is always a painful reminder of the … Continue reading
We’re all familiar with the different stages or phases in life – childhood to youth, youth to adulthood, and so on. Those stages could never happen if there wasn’t change ~ every day. Like a flower unfolding, each stage has … Continue reading
When I was in Brussels, Belgium, recently, I found a reference to Compassionate Friends (the organization for parents who have lost a child to death) and a couple’s phone number in a magazine called The Bulletin. I called the number … Continue reading
Cemetery Discomfort I have always been uncomfortable in cemeteries ever since I can remember. My discomfort surrounding cemetery visits magnified one hundred fold after my daughter Jeannine’s death in March of 2003. Watching my daughter’s coffin being lowered into the … Continue reading
Our last Mother’s Day together you bought me a hammock. I remember your excitement as I opened it and my anticipation as you gleefully put it together. We all tried it out of course, each of us one at a … Continue reading
My daughter died in 2007 from the injuries she received in a car crash. At the time of her death, she was soaring in life. She was a composite engineer, had an MBA, six industry certifications, a job she enjoyed, … Continue reading
On February 19, 2006, when Allan proposed to me at Hoff Jewelers at a mall in Maplewood, Minnesota, for some odd reason it never dawned on me that I’d be inheriting a mother-in-law too. I was 59 and Allan 60—youngsters … Continue reading
Just this morning I read a wise and timely quote from Eckhart Tolle: “As long as you make an identity for yourself out of pain, you cannot be free of it.” I’m always a bit amazed when words seem to … Continue reading
For many of us, Mother’s Day stirs something deeply loving. For others, ambivalent feelings abide. You see, after thirty-three years in the counseling field and drying the tears off many faces, I can accurately say that not every woman feels … Continue reading
Have you ever wished you had a huge remote and could fast-forward through something? A tedious conversation, or maybe the perky dental hygienist with a terrifying tray of metal weapons? I have. Mother’s Day isn’t supposed to be on that … Continue reading
Several months after my husband died, something happened that caused me to laugh. I was surprised at how good it felt. It also surprised me when I thought about how long it had been since I had last laughed, so … Continue reading
Life is full of choices. What we don’t always understand is that happiness is a choice, too. It seems strange that being happy would be a choice, but that is one of the things I learned when I was caught … Continue reading
When I was first widowed, my overriding thought was that I couldn’t survive it, and I did not wish to. But the thought that I couldn’t go on without him was simply not true: it felt true, but it wasn’t. … Continue reading
As we approach Mother’s Day, I am drawn to reflect on my experiences of being mothered and on how those experiences directly and indirectly affected my own mothering and continue to influence my grand-mothering. Each night during my childhood, mother … Continue reading
Please don’t be afraid. Yes, life is different now but remember when it was beautiful? Well, it will be again, though not the same. The wounds will heal, your tears will dry and though scars remain, I know you are … Continue reading