Holidays are normally a time of joy and celebration amongst families; however, they can heighten children’s sense of loss. Whether it is loss from a death or a divorce, a child is more likely to acknowledge the fact that the relative is missing during these times that are spent with family. According to recent census [...]
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Grieving for the Sister She Never Knew
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October 15, 2011
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Savannah, our third child, was welcomed into this world in May of ’99. I like to think she was specially chosen for our family by her older sister, Alexandria. Alexandria was too ill to stay with us. She died early in ’98, seven days after her birth, from a chromosome abnormality. She spent her brief [...]
100 Great Stress Busters for Kids
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January 14, 2011
2 Responses
Stress is the normal nervous tension we feel in our bodies when we are making a transition in our life. Change is sometimes predictable like the birth of a baby, transferring to a higher school grade or graduation from high school. Then there are changes that happen unexpectedly, like coming down with a major illness, [...]
Welcome Mat for Grief in the School Counselor’s Office
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November 15, 2010
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I had my back to my office door as I was pounding away on the computer, writing parent permission letters to attend a grief group. After sensing a presence, I turned and saw a student standing there, somber, yet alert and extremely pensive. “Hi, I’m Mrs. J.” I smiled, staying seated, somehow believing it was [...]
Help Grieving Children Know They are Not Alone
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April 3, 2010
2 Responses
By Howard Winokuer, Ph.D., LPC, NCC, FT, and Heidi Horsley, Psy.D, LMSW, MS “What we have once enjoyed we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us.” — Helen Keller The death of a child is traumatic. It often turns one’s life upside down and puts everything we ever believed [...]
Haiti’s Children Need Emotional Support after Quake
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March 19, 2010
1 Response
As the world pulls together to deliver physical necessities such as food, water and shelter, we must remember to respond to the emotional healing that is needed nationwide in Haiti as well. Following the earthquake, the children will experience post-traumatic stress and they will have deep scars, physically and emotionally, that must be tended to. [...]
Helping the Grieving Child in School
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November 23, 2009
1 Response
Children’s grief should be seen as an ongoing life process that is approachable through words, activities and non-verbal communication. Educators can use this understanding to create a safe environment for parents, teachers and children to acknowledge and process difficult feelings. So often adults rely on the prevailing myth that children are too young too grieve. [...]
Marked by Death, for the Rest of Our Lives
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November 16, 2009
4 Responses
After my four-year-old died, I was certain my family would never be the same again. It is true and has been proven over and over that we will no longer be the typical family living at the end of the cul-de-sac. We may look the same (only because I have not been daring enough to [...]
Death of Child Affects Relationships Throughout Family
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November 12, 2009
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When anyone we love dies our lives are changed; things we had planned will no longer be the same. The death of a child is often the least expected death, and the ongoing effect upon the remaining family can seem endless. One of the commonest things I hear said is: “You don’t expect to attend [...]
Christmas ‘Gifts’ Never the Same After Sister’s Death
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November 8, 2009
2 Responses
Nothing that can be wrapped in a box could ever compare to the “gift” of my older sister, Dawn. I still miss her keenly around the holidays, but I am thankful that she was a part of my childhood. Today, as Christmas approaches, holiday memories poignantly remind me of how love, life and loss can [...]
Children’s book deals with sibling loss
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October 6, 2009
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My first book, The Glass Table, for children 8-12 years, has just launched today on Amazon.com. In The Glass Table, fourteen-year-old Jack Irwin-Hunter hikes to Lake Como after running away from home. Since his younger brother was killed in a tragic accident, Jack has suffered alone while his parents mourned their loss. He believes his [...]
Voices of Silence
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September 9, 2009
5 Responses
The voice of silence is all around us—it is rooted in the pain from the loss of our son and brother, Nathan. It is the silence of sorrow in our home because one of our sons is gone, and it is the silent voice of the sudden, quiet expression that comes over a person’s face [...]
Helping your Child with Loss and Grief
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September 4, 2009
1 Response
How can we help our children deal with deaths of loved ones? Here are some ways. Prepare the children for what will come. The more open you can be about what is ahead, the less uncomfortable your children will be. Explain what the funeral will be like, what they will see and what feelings they [...]
Helping Your Child Cope With Loss
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June 25, 2009
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By Lauren Littauer Briggs – By the time I was eight, my first brother had died and my second was diagnosed with the same fatal condition. My great-grandmother had died, but I wasn’t allowed at the funeral. Instead, I peeked through the heating ducts to watch what was going on. My dog was given away [...]
Loss During Young Adulthood May Make One Feel Old
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June 23, 2009
7 Responses
By Beryl Kaminsky – The young adult years — ranging from late teens to early thirties — span a period of life when most people are self-centered. Life is all about gaining independence, finding oneself, having a good time or starting relationships. Death is the farthest thing from a young person’s mind. As a result, [...]
Helping Young People Cope With Grief
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May 13, 2009
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By Theresa V. Wilson – Age is not a prerequisite for grief. Whether as a result of death or divorce, the stages of a child’s emotional recuperation must be fully addressed. When a child is grieving, there are helpful principles that will reap positive results. Never assume you know what your child may be thinking [...]
Little People with Big Hurts
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April 28, 2009
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By Cathi Lammert, RN – Most children who have a sibling that dies due to a pregnancy loss, stillbirth or in the first few months of life will experience a grief reaction. However, often times, their grief is overlooked or discounted. Parents may be so overwhelmed by their own grief that they are unable to [...]
Surviving Child Demonstrates Meaning of Easter
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April 9, 2009
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By Mitch Carmody – In December of 1987, our 9-year-old son, Kelly James, died following two arduous years of fighting brain cancer. That ensuing Christmas, we were so numb in our grief that much of it is now a faded memory. But that following Easter, we received a gift, a gift that I share it [...]
Helping a Friend Who Loses a Child
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January 14, 2009
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The Message By Betsy Bottino Arenella – My spiritual awakening began on December 11, 2004, with a life-altering phone call. I was walking down the front hall stairs in a bathrobe, my wet hair wrapped in a towel, when I saw my husband standing at the bottom. He was holding the telephone and looking up [...]
A Must Read: A Letter About Guilt and Bob Baugher’s Response
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November 18, 2008
1 Response
Dear Bob, I’m here to thank you for your article about sibling survivor guilt. You have stated every single emotion my son and I have felt these last two years. In October 2006, my two sweet sons went out into the night in a car to begin a new life together, getting an apartment, getting their [...]
Planning Helps With the ‘Firsts’
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November 8, 2008
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By Sue Gilbert and Suzanne Redfern – The following is an excerpt from The Grieving Garden, authored by Suzanne Redfern and Susan Gilbert (Hampton Roads Publishing, 2008). In this excerpt, Susan Benveniste, one of the book’s 22 contributors, speaks of her family’s first celebrations, including Thanksgiving, without their daughter, Shelly. Enduring the “firsts” can be [...]
What Parents Need to Know About Grieving Teens
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September 14, 2008
1 Response
By Gloria C. Horsley, Ph.D., M.F.C., C.N.S and Heidi Horsley, Psy.D., L.M.S.W., M.S. – I hate you! Leave me alone! I’m not going to some dumb support group! You can’t make me! I don’t want to talk about it! You’re so unfair! It’s none of your business if I’m drinking! So what if my grades [...]
Sibling Grief for a Teen or Young Adult
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July 26, 2008
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I wanted to ask you and Heidi if a sibling age 24 would grieve like an adult or teenager. My daughter was in college and I had to get a pastor in the town where she went to college to help her deal with her grief.
Book: Our Children, Our Hearts
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July 17, 2008
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Our book, Our Children, Our Hearts, edited by Emily Laitmon with Terry Toll, contains brief writings from parents and siblings traveling this road of remembrance. Our hope in sharing these words is that readers will see that the process and methods for remembrance defies definition and formulas. But, through remembrance one can hold onto the [...]
Dr. Heidi Speaks About the Divorce Rate among Bereaved Parents
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March 16, 2007
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I was glad to see that Wayne Loder cited several studies done on behalf of Compassionate Friends showing that the divorce rate among bereaved parents is 12%-16%, far below the national average. Further, I agree with my mom (Dr. Gloria) that grieving parents, do not need to be told that their marriage cannot survive a [...]
