A reader writes: I’m not really sure how to explain how I feel after losing my ex-spouse a month ago—especially since he died the same day I was having major surgery. Consequently, I’ve had quite a few complications from my surgery since I started taking care of my two teenage boys and their grief the [...]
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Remembering ‘The Last Lecture’ co-author Jeff Zaslow
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February 17, 2012
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“Best selling author, Jeffrey Zaslow, who wrote best-sellers such as The Last Lecture about a professor dying of pancreatic cancer and a recent book on U.S. Rep. Gabrielle Giffords’ recovery was killed February 10th in a car accident. Mr. Zaslow, 53, is survived by his wife and three daughters.” Soon after our daughter Erin was [...]
Continuing Connection with a Pet that Has Died
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January 18, 2012
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“Death ends a life – it does not end a relationship.” — (Anderson, 1974) When one suffers the loss of a dear, beloved animal companion, it is a profound loss and a heart-wrenching experience: “I feel like a part of me died with her. I feel a deep emptiness inside that is physically painful (bereaved [...]
Heavenly Peace: How One Man’s Grief Journey has Taught Him Well
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December 23, 2011
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My holiday season has begun with another lesson learned along my Grief Journey. It comes with the passing of one of my friends who has done the billing in my Family & Personal Counseling practice. Diana Hogan reminded me of my Aunt Rose, whom we also lost to cancer. For the first time in awhile, [...]
Grieving, She Tries to Accept the Emptiness
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December 7, 2011
2 Responses
While walking my dogs this morning, I was reflecting on the fact that I have acquired a wonderful set of girlfriends who are kind-hearted, intelligent, generous and fun. Nothing unusual about that, you might think? Lots of girls have great girlfriends. However, just over a year ago, this was not the case. I was lonely, [...]
Did My Cat Go to Heaven?
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October 1, 2011
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Question from a reader: I have been grieving the loss of my cat for some time now, and the pain does not go away. I am still very sad and wondering what kind of help you can give me. I keep thinking—did my Mittens go to heaven or not? I had a very tight bond [...]
The Music and Life of Nick Ashford
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September 2, 2011
3 Responses
Not long before I attended Mr. Nick Ashford’s funeral at the Abyssinian Baptist Church in Harlem, I was waiting in the check-out line at a nearby convenience store. The line was being manned by an exasperated store clerk, but, apparently, he had been abandoned by his fellow employees. His frantic attempts to page them for [...]
Psalm 23 Creates Healing Connection
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August 21, 2011
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Grief is the price we pay for love. —Queen Elizabeth II My best friend was dead. My faith was shattered. It was too much for me. I felt that I, too, was dying. I desperately needed a breakthrough—a sign, if you will, that she was safe. The thoughts of her being smashed against a mountain [...]
‘Wish You Were Here’: Friend’s Death Stirs Deep Emotions
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August 1, 2011
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I had just returned from a visit back home to Iowa. It was the first morning after a long drive back to Texas, and I was pouting. I missed my friends. I missed my family. Every thought seemed to beckon me home like a postcard reading, “Wish you were here.” Still, vacation was over and [...]
Even mass tragedy should be personal
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July 26, 2011
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In recent months I’ve watched tragedy unfold far away from me, in places like Norway and Japan, and very close to me in my home state of Alabama. As I watched the loss of life, I revisited my own personal loss and the way I view the loss of people I don’t even know. I [...]
Does Jesus Like Chocolate?
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July 18, 2011
3 Responses
She was staring at the glass of chocolate Ensure. “Annie” didn’t like chocolate but was so devout in her Catholicism that she did not want to offend Jesus. She looked up at me and asked, “Does Jesus like chocolate?” It was such a funny question and I stifled a laugh, because I knew she was [...]
Recipes Link Her to Mother-in-Law, Memories
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June 6, 2011
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After my mother-in-law died, I received her copy of The Boston Cooking School Cook Book by Fannie Merritt Farmer. No other family members wanted the book, which surprised me, so it became mine. Over the years, she used the book as a file, and tucked clippings and recipe booklets in its pages. She also added [...]
Hats Off to a World War II Vet
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May 29, 2011
2 Responses
Yesterday was a wonderful day. While standing in line at the pharmacy, the gentleman behind me smiled. I don’t go to the CVS to make friends, but somehow yesterday I did. This older fellow’s smile, along with his vet’s hat, was engaging. He looked too young to have been in WWII so I asked him. [...]
Osama bin Laden’s Death: Tips for Talking with Your Child
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May 5, 2011
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The news this week of Osama bin Laden’s death evokes countless emotions. As I look back on the tragic day of September 11, 2001, I shudder with the memories of fear for our country and the immensity of how Rainbows For All Children could help the families who had loved ones die. There’s also the [...]
Falling in Love Again after Pet-Loss
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April 15, 2011
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My beloved first golden retriever died in July 2005, The anticipated and then excruciating pain of his loss lingered for months on end, tears flowed uncontrollably and a growing yearning for that furry connection permeated my soul. I swore to never get another dog again, as I couldn’t tolerate yet another heart wrenching “letting go.” [...]
Great Aunt Waits for God
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April 10, 2011
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My Great Aunt Alice was a pretty healthy 87 years old. She was spunky. I really thought I’d be submitting her picture to the Today show for the Smuckers jar profile when she turned 100. Then one a rainy day in April, I received the dreaded phone call. Aunt Alice had a sudden brain aneurysm [...]
Workplace Grief: Listening to the Griever
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March 17, 2011
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Helping hurting employees can be complicated, challenging, and confusing, especially when the employee’s needs and reactions change from one day to the next. Grieving people are often unsure what they want from others, which complicates things further. Just as there is no rulebook as to the length and pattern of grief, there is no right [...]
Grief Following the Loss of a Beloved Pet
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March 9, 2011
7 Responses
The Pain of Loss “This is the most terrible pain I have ever had and I feel like I will never be the same person I was before my pet passed. It felt like someone ripped my heart out of my chest when he died and a scream came out of me that was from [...]
Losing My Mentor: Remembering Romulus Linney
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January 29, 2011
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I lost a great friend and mentor this month. Romulus Linney, the playwright and novelist, died in New York of lung cancer. In a twist of fate, Rom’s daughter, the actress Laura Linney, won a Golden Globe the day after her father’s death, for her starring role in THE BIG C, a story about a [...]
Turn Grief into Joy? Cliches Don’t Work for the Bereaved
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January 25, 2011
14 Responses
As a bereaved mother who mourned and still mourns the loss of her three-year-old son, Michael, I cringed when I heard former governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin, make reference to the families of the victims of the terrible shooting in Tucson. She said, off-handedly, “May God turn their mourning into joy.” In my view, such [...]
Farewell to a ‘Transitioning’ Friend
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January 24, 2011
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If you have or you are currently sitting bedside of a loved one in hospice, you are probably struggling with accepting the thought and reality of letting your beloved go. It is a psychological battle that starts by praying for a miracle of life and ends by praying for a miracle of death: “Please, God, [...]
When Animal Friends Die
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January 21, 2011
6 Responses
They say cats have nine lives. I wish that were true, but the facts contradict such myths. Everything dies, including the felines, dogs and other creatures we choose to care for and have in our lives. Most animals tend to have a shorter life-span than humans, thereby increasing the chances that our beloved friend will [...]
Obama’s Tucson Speech Shows How Words Can Help the Grieving
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January 19, 2011
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Pres. Obama’s moving address to the nation last week may be viewed as a fine illustration of how we help others who grieve traumatic losses and what such grieving demands of us. Commentary on his own words will demonstrate how his short speech said so much. “There is nothing I can say that will fill [...]
Music for my Relatives: Understanding Buchenwald
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January 17, 2011
4 Responses
I thought about my father’s family tree as I drove from Prague to Weimer. Thirty-three relatives had died in Auschwitz, three had been liberated from Dachau, but nothing was written about Buchenwald, the concentration camp I would visit the next day, November 11th, 2010. It was Veterans Day in the United States and Armistice Day [...]
The Tucson Memorial Service: Why did People Applaud?
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January 13, 2011
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Like millions of other Americans, I turned on the television to watch the memorial service for the victims of the Tucson rampage. The service opened with music, as many traditional services do, and President and Mrs. Obama bowed their heads as the symphony orchestra played the Copeland fanfare. Then things began to change. People, approximately [...]
