A reader writes: I’m not really sure how to explain how I feel after losing my ex-spouse a month ago—especially since he died the same day I was having major surgery. Consequently, I’ve had quite a few complications from my surgery since I started taking care of my two teenage boys and their grief the [...]
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Grieving, She Tries to Accept the Emptiness
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December 7, 2011
2 Responses
While walking my dogs this morning, I was reflecting on the fact that I have acquired a wonderful set of girlfriends who are kind-hearted, intelligent, generous and fun. Nothing unusual about that, you might think? Lots of girls have great girlfriends. However, just over a year ago, this was not the case. I was lonely, [...]
Psalm 23 Creates Healing Connection
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August 21, 2011
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Grief is the price we pay for love. —Queen Elizabeth II My best friend was dead. My faith was shattered. It was too much for me. I felt that I, too, was dying. I desperately needed a breakthrough—a sign, if you will, that she was safe. The thoughts of her being smashed against a mountain [...]
‘Wish You Were Here’: Friend’s Death Stirs Deep Emotions
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August 1, 2011
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I had just returned from a visit back home to Iowa. It was the first morning after a long drive back to Texas, and I was pouting. I missed my friends. I missed my family. Every thought seemed to beckon me home like a postcard reading, “Wish you were here.” Still, vacation was over and [...]
Losing My Mentor: Remembering Romulus Linney
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January 29, 2011
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I lost a great friend and mentor this month. Romulus Linney, the playwright and novelist, died in New York of lung cancer. In a twist of fate, Rom’s daughter, the actress Laura Linney, won a Golden Globe the day after her father’s death, for her starring role in THE BIG C, a story about a [...]
Farewell to a ‘Transitioning’ Friend
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January 24, 2011
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If you have or you are currently sitting bedside of a loved one in hospice, you are probably struggling with accepting the thought and reality of letting your beloved go. It is a psychological battle that starts by praying for a miracle of life and ends by praying for a miracle of death: “Please, God, [...]
Poem: Across The Waves
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December 15, 2010
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Across the ocean’s waves, around the world Your message of sorrow came to me No matter that we’ve not met face to face, my Dear Friend, Through the written word, I know your heart as you know mine. Across the ocean’s waves, around the world I grieve with you and share the pain of your [...]
Woman Loses Organs to Cancer, Still Revels in Life
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September 1, 2010
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I want to tell you the story of Louella Gaines from Ypsilanti, Michigan, who has persevered through many bouts of cancer, during which she has lost a lung, a kidney, her female organs, and many areas of her skin. May you find some strength from the insightful words from this remarkable woman, someone who continues [...]
Revisiting Loss 30 Years Later ‘Refreshing’
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July 30, 2010
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Last year, when the 30th anniversary of my friend Curtis’ death was coming up, I set out on a journey of healing, to clean out whatever vestiges of internal emotional and psychological damage that might be stopping me from living a full life today. I trusted that if I thought again about Curtis, I would [...]
Script-writing Helps Her Understand Meaning of Loss
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July 28, 2010
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The body is gone, but the love remains. This is the bottom line for so many of us. We may miss the person’s physical presence, but more often it’s the person’s mind/soul/body presence which we long for. And yet, the love remains. I’ve been taking a “deliberate journey of the soul” in search of deeper [...]
When a Friend Dies
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July 26, 2010
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When I picked up my four-year old grandson at preschool, Kenny was proud to introduce me to his new friend. Even at a young age, we begin the life-long process of making friends. If Kenny’s lucky, he may even keep some of the friends he makes in these early years. I still have a friend [...]
Writing Poetry Helps Decades After Friend’s Death
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July 24, 2010
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June 11th of last year was the 30th anniversary of the death of my friend Curtis in a car accident. As part of my healing process, I set out on a “deliberate journey of the soul,” to clean out whatever vestiges of internal emotional and psychological damage that might be stopping me from living a [...]
Teens Often Best at Consoling Each Other
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June 26, 2010
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I’ve gotten accustomed in my 60s to having that phone call that a friend has become very ill or died. It’s not that I’m callused but I’m knocking on the door of the Golden Years. But it’s always a shock to the system — physically, emotionally, and spiritually — when a young person dies suddenly. [...]
Maintaining Emotional Fluency through Artistic Expression
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May 29, 2010
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Last year, when the 30th anniversary of his death was coming up, I set out on a journey of healing…
Death of ‘Neon Man’ Inspires Friend to Help Others
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March 25, 2010
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In 2004, I got a call that my best friend died. Mark Jamison was a neon artist from Roanoke, Virginia, who was electrocuted after he was blown into a power line while hanging a neon sign. He was only 35. A month after he died, his girlfriend discovered she was pregnant. Mark and I had been friends for nearly 18 [...]
A Fresh Loss, New Lessons
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March 22, 2010
2 Responses
“There are no random acts…We are all connected…You can no more separate one life from another than you can separate a breeze from the wind…” – Mitch Albom It’s true…I feel it, you feel it…we are all connected. As human beings, we feel each other’s pain. Because of this we are able to pull together [...]
The Road Back from Loss Leads to Grief-Counseling Career
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March 17, 2010
4 Responses
The road back from any loss is crooked and wide, and sometimes even circular. My experiences as a primary caregiver in my home (with hospice support) with my husband, my father, and my female best friend all affected me in different ways. I’ve read that the depth of grief is equal to the degree and [...]
We’re Strengthened When We Say ‘I’m Here’
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March 7, 2010
2 Responses
I recently attended calling hours to support a close friend who had suddenly lost her cousin to cancer. When I arrived, I joined the end of the receiving line and proceeded to view the television monitor which displayed a memorial of the deceased. Several people behind and in front of me were quietly talking amongst [...]
Bringing Light into a Dark Place: Joining Inmates in Overcoming Hopelessness
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December 7, 2009
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I have been in and out of jail for well over a year. I’m not there because I’ve broken a law or violated probation. I visit the barb wired facility to bring hope into a very dark place. It’s part of my healing process after losing my best friend six years ago in a plane [...]
Accepting Loss as a Fact of Life
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October 25, 2009
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When I was sixteen, my best friend was killed in a car accident. My boyfriend was driving the car. They were going to the movies on a summer afternoon two weeks after their high school graduation. I felt that my life was smashed head on in that one moment, just like their car had been [...]
Using Laughter and Playfulness as an Antidote to Grief
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October 5, 2009
1 Response
I lost my close friend, Jim, to suicide in 2005. Instead of succumbing to the devastating pain, grief and guilt surrounding his death, I embarked on a journey of introspection, self-healing and giving to the community. As a self-proclaimed Giggle Coach, I am on a crusade to help people reclaim joy in their lives, or, as [...]
First Days After Losing an Exceptional Friend
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September 25, 2009
2 Responses
I could not afford to fly home for Christmas on my meagre salary and begrudgingly accepted my festive destiny: being alone. Well, technically, I was not alone, if I was to include the critters quietly doing their private research and development in my cupboards. To cheer myself, in an attempt to embrace “the experience”, I [...]
A Moment of Perspective…
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September 14, 2009
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Sometimes, it’s hard to put things into perspective becuase we are always so consumed about what we are feeling and how it affects us in our lives, that we don’t take the time to think that maybe somebody has it just a little bit harder than you. I was in a charity golf outing this [...]
When a Friend Dies
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September 5, 2009
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By Harriett Hodgson – My father-in-law made many close friends during his 98 years of life. So many of those friends died that my father-in-law became known as the “last man standing.” At first, Dad would get really upset when a close friend died. After losing dozens of friends his response changed. “He (or she) was [...]
Love Never Dies – Handling the Death of a Friend
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September 2, 2009
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By Semele Xerri – I recently lost a very dear friend – she was the first person I really connected with when I moved to this area and she was a big part of the reason why I felt so welcome and at home here. Apart from my Nan, a good many years ago now, [...]
