Reaching Out in Grief to Comfort Another

Lana, I am so sorry for you and I know exactly how you are feeling. My 12 year old daughter died on June 2 2007 and I feel as though my heart is dead also. I can?t get passed the loss. I? used to go to work with a smile and happy attitude. Always a good morning to all and now I just cant seam to get with it. I cry all day .I am a letter carrier and sometimes it seams as though I am looking through a waterfall instead of just my tears. I know she is safe with God and in a much better place now than we are but I miss her so much and knowing it just doesn?t seam to be of comfort. People tell me it will get better but how ?

The old lana perhaps you need to be the new one now. Perhaps we must find a way to make their passing mean something .I am going to write my daughters story. I want people to know her and see what a joy she was. I want to keep her memory alive and I will in this way. Thinking of it seams to help. Its kind of a way to be close to her for me Maybe you can do this for yourself and it may help you?God bless you and help you find a way, his way.

?

Dear Janie,

We are so sorry for your loss. Grieving for a child is probably the hardest thing we ever do and there is no time limit or right or wrong way to get through it.? When you are able to reach out to someone else, as you did to Lana, you can know that your healing has begun. June 12 is a very short time ago and we encourage you to be gentle with yourself and take all the time you need to grieve. Writing your daughter?s story is a wonderful idea.

Help and support can be found through a Compassionate Friends Group in Your Area. For more information go to http://www.compassionatefriends.org/? You can find a local group as well as many valuable resources to help you along the way. Each member has experienced the death of a child and each has survived and grieved in his or her own way. If groups are not for you we recommend that you reach out to your family, church, and friends for support.? We have found that the load of grief is lighter when it is not carried alone.?

We invite you to listen on Thursday mornings to the radio show Healing the Grieving Heart? You can find information about it and a link to it on the first page of http://www.thegriefblog.com? You might also find a number of past shows that can give you help and comfort at http://thegriefblog.com/grief-grieving-death-of-a-child/

We posted your letter to Lana on the first page of The Grief Blog (http://www.thegriefblog.com) and with Lana?s poem so others may see it and be helped by it.

Blessings,

Drs. Gloria and Heidi Horsley

The Open to Hope Community

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  • KATRINA LEONARD says:

    I LOST MY DAUGHTER WHO JUST TURNED 13 AUG 31 2006 SHE WAS VISITING HER BROTHER IN LAS VEGAS AND WAS KILLED AFTER FLYING OFF THE BACK OF MY SONS MOTORCYCLE. I AM STILL GRIEVING AND SEEMS AS THOUGH I AM JUST WAKING UP AFTER A YEAR SLOWLY. COULDNT WORK THE GUILT OF NOT BEING THERE LINGURES BUT DONT PUT A TIME LIMIT ON YOUR CHILDS DEATH NO ONE REALLY KNOWS UNLESS THE

  • sherry smith says:

    My granddaughter died when she was three days old her mother was in labor and fell which caused the placenta to tear loose from the wall. I have been dealing with the loss but my greater concern is my daughter-in-law I love her as my own and she is not the same mother that she was to her other 2 children she feels that everything is ok but I really that she needs more help this is a loss that has no time limit or timetable for when “we’re all better” I just don’t want to lose her too!!! I am a nurse and feel that I should be able to help but I don’t think thats happening!