By Sandra Pesmen – If you want to celebrate any holiday, especially Father’s Day, you have to learn to deal with anger and guilt. Whether we widows admit it or not, when our spouse dies, most of us feel guilty … Continue reading
In recent months I’ve watched tragedy unfold far away from me, in places like Norway and Japan, and very close to me in my home state of Alabama. As I watched the loss of life, I revisited my own personal … Continue reading
Do you ever think that the networks are missing out on the ultimate reality series? What has more drama, sick humor, running mascara, and (sometimes) hair-pulling than widowhood? When I think of the millions that could have been made on … Continue reading
I’ve been thinking a lot about friendships lately and how they change and I know that’s also on the minds of many of my widow(er) friends out there. I guess it’s that time of year…when friends and family seem to … Continue reading
I often hear from grieving dads who tell me they feel alone in their grief after the death of their child. It amazes me that after going through something as profound as the death of a child, that these men … Continue reading
Have you been forced out of a job? Are you facing a health issue? Are you a victim of a crime? Have you lost a loved one unexpectedly? Then you know that forced change embraces your life in an instant. … Continue reading
I was really good at living with intention before my husband died. I was good about doing things with good reason and being thoughtful, even purposeful, about what I did and how I did it. I had the luxury of … Continue reading
I grew up in a house of emotionless beings. There was a scarcity of extreme reactions to anything. Emotions seemed to be secreted away inside ourselves and never allowed out to “play”. In the 60s, life revolved around the practicalities … Continue reading
When the man that you have been married to for 35 years, and whom you love with all of your heart and soul, is gravely ill, you are numb and filled with heartache like you have never felt before. I … Continue reading
For the past ten years, hospice has been a huge part of my life and its impact on me has been immense. I have worked all of that time in one agency as a hospice social worker or bereavement coordinator. … Continue reading
For many, the Mother’s and Father’s Day tradition is a welcome way to celebrate the meaningful lessons your parents taught you by deed or example. For those who are estranged from parents, this can be a time of tension and … Continue reading
Question from a reader: I feel very comfortable on the online forum I’ve joined and have already received great support from the people there. They encourage and inspire me. I’m learning a lot from those who’ve inhabited this world of … Continue reading
Recently, I had the opportunity to speak to the women’s group at my church, and I realized just how much faith meant to me. I grew up Catholic, and it was very important to my mother that we go to … Continue reading
As time “slips” by in my healing from loss of spouse, and I find my way to enter again into life, there seems to be more and more sliding from side to side. I’m trying to find my footing on … Continue reading
“A normal reaction to a very abnormal situation.” My psychologist spoke those words to me so often in the months following my sister’s murder. Choosing to seek the help of psychologist was one of the most important decisions I made. … Continue reading
In the years since my husband died, many times I have heard the phrase: “What doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger.” I’ve been thinking about that lately and am not sure if I agree. There are so many different … Continue reading
Losing a child is like falling into a fathomless pit, a deep well of sorrow that leaves an enormous void in the center of life. One moment, you are on top of the world, an instant later you are plummeting … Continue reading
As most of us know, there are certain things that trigger our emotions while on this journey of grief. I think it’s safe to say that we all understand there are different stages of grief, different emotions and feelings also. … Continue reading
A few years back, we had a forest fire here in the Sawtooth Mountains. The first evening, we collectively came out and stood on hillsides to watch in horror and awe as the flames engulfed the woods and the pristine scenery, … Continue reading
Question from a reader: I am currently dating a widower who feels the need to publish a picture of his ex-wife in the local newspaper twice a year, on her birthday and date of death. He has been doing this for … Continue reading
The Pain of Loss “This is the most terrible pain I have ever had and I feel like I will never be the same person I was before my pet passed. It felt like someone ripped my heart out of … Continue reading
My sister was murdered on September 17, 2009. Six months and 5 days later, on March 23, 2010, an arrest was made. It will soon be 18 months since her death. It will soon be 12 months since the arrest … Continue reading
Wild-eyed, I stared at the reflection in the mirror. I no longer recognised myself. My eyes were haunted by the pain and suffering not only of my brother’s death but of all the other losses I’d experienced throughout my life. … Continue reading
We call her Hope. Our baby, lost to us in late January 2003, was with us only briefly. Eight weeks to be exact. Not long enough to take her first breath, but long enough to be a reality in my … Continue reading
I have to be honest; it’s been a while since anything has “triggered” an intense emotional response. These responses are much fewer and farther between than in my early days of grief. After the death of my daughter, Katie, I … Continue reading