It’s one of those rare overcast days in Colorado and I’m working in my home office with nice music playing. I’ve been thinking about Valentine’s Day, realizing it will be here soon. On my walk today, I was remembering when … Continue reading
During the first few years of my widowhood, when I was working through my grief, I’d occasionally have to tackle the monster of “DEPRESSION”. Of course the most obvious times were around holidays, special days of birthdays and anniversaries, and … Continue reading
When my four-year-old son Daniel died, I grieved my own loss, and for my other children. My daughter Rachel was only six at the time. With her brother’s death, she lost her best friend. As I was thrown into the … Continue reading
Do you ever think that the networks are missing out on the ultimate reality series? What has more drama, sick humor, running mascara, and (sometimes) hair-pulling than widowhood? When I think of the millions that could have been made on … Continue reading
I’ve been thinking a lot about friendships lately and how they change and I know that’s also on the minds of many of my widow(er) friends out there. I guess it’s that time of year…when friends and family seem to … Continue reading
I often hear from grieving dads who tell me they feel alone in their grief after the death of their child. It amazes me that after going through something as profound as the death of a child, that these men … Continue reading
“You know that story, Finding Nemo?” my 4-year-old nephew asked. “That’s a story with a happy ending because he gets to find his daddy.” It was six days since my brother, my nephew’s father, had died and oh, how my … Continue reading
Growing up, I was a little afraid of my dad. He had a bark that was loud and, I thought, fearsome. But as I grew older, I came to realize that he was just a big olʼ teddy bear inside. … Continue reading
Have you been forced out of a job? Are you facing a health issue? Are you a victim of a crime? Have you lost a loved one unexpectedly? Then you know that forced change embraces your life in an instant. … Continue reading
My father died on Father’s Day 2007. He had been in apparent good health until the night he was admitted to the hospital. That day, he went through his usual routines-swam a mile at the Y, did some errands, sat … Continue reading
I was really good at living with intention before my husband died. I was good about doing things with good reason and being thoughtful, even purposeful, about what I did and how I did it. I had the luxury of … Continue reading
In grief, many words are bandied about: denial, acceptance, healing, closure, forget, move on, recover, acknowledge, anger, and guilt. These words are thrown at us, sometimes in our face, by others. These others may mean well, but their effect is … Continue reading
Have you ever had an unseen boarder that caused emotional turmoil, penetrating all of your carefully closeted borders and refusing to leave? Only recently did I recognize unresolved grief as an emotional boarder that relentlessly hung on for too many … Continue reading
For the past ten years, hospice has been a huge part of my life and its impact on me has been immense. I have worked all of that time in one agency as a hospice social worker or bereavement coordinator. … Continue reading
Question from a Reader: I know I’ve heard plenty of times that it is normal for ‘grievers’ to feel despondent and wish to be with their spouse who has passed on. But, it doesn’t feel like it’s normal to me … Continue reading
The journey after the death of a loved one is emotionally draining and physically exhausting, particularly in the early stages of grief (which I see as minimally, two years). It is also easy to feel some guilt because of the … Continue reading
Snow fell from the cold winter skies when my beloved sister was buried. Miniature, delicate snowflakes seemed so out of place in the cemetery filled with grief, tears and darkness. I stared into the sky, away from the casket, and … Continue reading
Mistakes haunt us. Regrets torment us. Grief – for any loss – rips at us. We pick at these wounds hoping for miraculous healing. We study them, trying to figure out what went wrong. We relive them in our minds … Continue reading
In Loving Memory of My Son, Clint, 1885-2005 The heart remembers even when we aren’t actively thinking about our child. It was 51/2 years since our son had died of a drug overdose. The thoughts weren’t in front of my … Continue reading
Walls are dividers. Walls are providers. Walls are low. Walls are high. Walls are protectors. Walls are prisons. Walls with cracks fall down and can be rebuilt or replaced with something else. Moving through many changes after loss (the major … Continue reading
I could see his lips moving and his eyes penetrating but I felt like I was swimming underwater. The muffled sounds seemed far away and the x-ray the doctor was pointing to had black spots on the tailbone, elbow, neck … Continue reading
After the death of someone we love, our grief experience and overall healing has everything to do with our relationship to the deceased, the intensity and depth of the love we felt for them, and our degree of faith in … Continue reading
I tried to run away from you. I did. I thought that if I ran fast, I would be able to escape the pain I feel over losing you. It worked for a little while. Maybe a month or two. … Continue reading
Question from a reader: I feel very comfortable on the online forum I’ve joined and have already received great support from the people there. They encourage and inspire me. I’m learning a lot from those who’ve inhabited this world of … Continue reading
My beloved first golden retriever died in July 2005, The anticipated and then excruciating pain of his loss lingered for months on end, tears flowed uncontrollably and a growing yearning for that furry connection permeated my soul. I swore to … Continue reading