Feeling discouraged? Relax and tune into the Open to Hope podcast and hear Dr. Gloria Horsley and Dr. Heidi Horsley interview guests with inspiring stories about recovery from loss.
Keep Child’s Memory Alive Four years ago, I lost my beautiful 23-year-old daughter, Keren. Therefore, I know firsthand how painful it is to lose a child. At first, I really didn’t think I would survive, and almost didn’t. I knew I needed help and reached out through the internet to find other grieving parents, who would understand my pain and grief. I needed to know that I was not alone. At that time, I couldn’t bring myself to attend a grief group, or even leave my house. I felt that I could barely stand up because I was so weighed […]
You Know You’re a Widow When You know you’re a widow when… At the end of a good day, you bust out crying for no particular reason. At the end of a bad day, you burst out laughing for no particular reason. And at the end of every day, you crawl into bed and sleep on His side. You refuse to throw away His toothbrush, His razor, His bar of soap. Because you think He’ll need them. The sight of His bathrobe hanging on a hook on the back of the bathroom door reduces you to tears, but you refuse […]
Multiple Losses Can Increase Isolation “We don’t see many people these days,” my husband commented. “I know,” I answered. “It’s because of our multiple losses.” After our twin grandchildren lost their parents in separate car crashes in 2007 we became their legal guardians and conservators — roles that required tremendous time and documentation. Then two more family members died. Grieving for four loved ones while raising grandchildren is the hardest thing we have ever done. Coming to terms with one death is hard, but coming to terms with four is much harder. According to Alan D. Wolfelt, PhD, Director of […]
How Does Twin Honor the Sister Who Died? Gladys writes in: I just lost my twin sister three months ago to something we now know as Long QT syndrome. She was perfectly healthy and woke to check on her crying baby one morning and fell unconscious and never gained consciousness again. Our 30th birthday is this Sunday and I am wanting to do something special. Honestly, I wish that I could skip this birthday altogether. Do you have any ideas of how to honor her memory? Linda Pountney, vice president of Twinless Twins Support Group International, responds: Dear Gladys: Please […]
New Normal for Mom after Death of Adult Son There was no rain, just some dark misty clouds. There in the sky was a beautiful rainbow. We were traveling home from the hospital after our son Lucas died, and saw the rainbow come from nowhere. It stayed with us 10 minutes or so, and I knew deep within me that God had sent that sight for me, to give me some sort of peace or hope for the future. It has been over a year since we beheld that gorgeous sight, and every time I see a rainbow, I am […]
No ‘Shoulds’ in Grieving a Spouse’s Death On my commute to work this morning (by which I mean my walk down to my basement office), I started wondering about something that seems to be a common theme with all of us widows: The ability to overcome what other people think of us. When our spouses die, the surrounding public seems to think it’s their right–no, their duty… to tell us how things should be done. They watch as we bumble our way into a somewhat normal existence after our lives have been completely turned upside down. The people we know […]
Mother Loses Son to Addiction To all of my fellow parents of deceased children — mothers and fathers — I offer greetings. I too have suffered this unthinkable loss and know the grief that accompanies it. My son, Danny, died on July 1, 2008, from an overdose of alcohol and prescription drugs, a death all too common in this day and age. Shortly after he passed, I read that the incidence of deaths due to overdose has quadrupled in young people between the ages of 18 and 23. Dan was right in there at 22. Needless to say, this has […]
Getting Over a Child-Loss There was a time when I believed that people should “get over” their grief by the 12th month following a loss. After all, isn’t that what our society believes to be true? In the summer of 1976, I was employed by a doctor in a medical office building. There were several other offices on our floor, and at noon time, I would meet with some of the other doctors’ employees for lunch. One woman, whom we called Gracie, had lost her 16-year-old son two years prior in a drowning accident. Each day at lunch break, Gracie […]
A Pain Like No Other All loss is hard. All loss is lonely. But there is something about child-loss that puts it in a unique category. I have experienced other types of loss. When my very much loved father died in 2001, I was devastated. My father was a wonderful, kind man, a devoted husband and father. I grieved for him. I will forever miss having him in my life. I will treasure my wonderful memories of him forever. Then, in 2006, my 23-year-old daughter suddenly died. In a single phone call, my life as I knew it came to […]
Twins: Connected in Life and Death As a twin myself, the death of actor and identical twin Jon Hager was especially fascinating. Jon and Jim Hager co-starred in the old TV show, “Hee-Haw,” back in the 1970s. Jim died of a heart attack last year at just 66 years of age; Jon died at 67 on Jan. 9. It had been reported that Jon was depressed after his brother’s death; the cause of Jon’s death has not yet been determined. These nearly back-to-back deaths don’t surprise me. When the twin bond is broken, it leaves a bereft and broken twin. […]
