Cemetery Discomfort I have always been uncomfortable in cemeteries ever since I can remember. My discomfort surrounding cemetery visits magnified one hundred fold after my daughter Jeannine’s death in March of 2003. Watching my daughter’s coffin being lowered into the … Continue reading
It Is What It Is I am a man who has been redefined by circumstances beyond my control. My process of redefinition started when my 18 -year- old daughter Jeannine died on 3/1/03 of a rare and aggressive form of … Continue reading
It’s one of those rare overcast days in Colorado and I’m working in my home office with nice music playing. I’ve been thinking about Valentine’s Day, realizing it will be here soon. On my walk today, I was remembering when … Continue reading
Thursday will be the 21st Thanksgiving I’ve lived through following the death of my 18-month-old daughter Erin in 1990. The 12th since my wife Trici died in 1999 and the 6th since my 13-year-old son Rory died in 2005. One … Continue reading
After my daughter Jeannine died at the age of 18 in March of 2003, there were signs of her everlasting presence in my life. In the beginning of my journey, though I acknowledged these signs, I didn’t develop a greater … Continue reading
The other day, while mindlessly driving down a narrow, fall-colored, leaf-filled neighborhood street, I noticed that Halloween decorations were beginning to appear. Pumpkins. Ghosts. Witches. And then the graveyard. I slowed down to take it all in. The Halloween graveyard. … Continue reading
The day that changed the lives of my family started with my four-year-old granddaughter, Brittany, sneaking in the front door with two little pink roses hiding behind her back. When a precious little hand reaches towards you holding something so … Continue reading
The Number 8 In Ted Andrews book, Animal Speak, there is a page devoted specifically to the meanings of numbers as they relate to our understanding of nature. The number 8 signifies, among other things, the symbol for infinity or … Continue reading
Just a sign, to remind me That tomorrow’s worth the fight Ever changing the storyline that keeps me alive So make a wish, and say… Give me life, give me love Scarlet angel from above From the … Continue reading
About six months after my husband, Marty, passed away I turned to the creative voice within me to help me express my soul’s grief. After enrolling in a drawing class, we were given the assignment to go outside and draw … Continue reading
A Cold Case State of Mind On most Fridays from 5:00pm to 11:00PM, I am parked on the couch or in my bedroom, watching the “Cold Case” marathon on the ION channel. This seven-year television series revolved around a dedicated … Continue reading
Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher’s mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin … Continue reading
Do you ever think that the networks are missing out on the ultimate reality series? What has more drama, sick humor, running mascara, and (sometimes) hair-pulling than widowhood? When I think of the millions that could have been made on … Continue reading
I’ve been thinking a lot about friendships lately and how they change and I know that’s also on the minds of many of my widow(er) friends out there. I guess it’s that time of year…when friends and family seem to … Continue reading
Last fall, I gave my writing students a very powerful exercise taken from the work of Deena Metzger. The basic premise was to choose a traumatic incident from our past—one that changed the course of our lives for the worse—a … Continue reading
My children have passed over the dividing line. They have been alive more years now without their father than they were with him. My daughter Samantha was 12 years old when her father died and Rick was just 10. They … Continue reading
I often hear from grieving dads who tell me they feel alone in their grief after the death of their child. It amazes me that after going through something as profound as the death of a child, that these men … Continue reading
My Grandpop was a legend in my small hometown mostly because of his many “unusual hobbies” – like counting how many flies he could swat on a front porch glider on any given August day. As scores of commuters rushed … Continue reading
“You know that story, Finding Nemo?” my 4-year-old nephew asked. “That’s a story with a happy ending because he gets to find his daddy.” It was six days since my brother, my nephew’s father, had died and oh, how my … Continue reading
Growing up, I was a little afraid of my dad. He had a bark that was loud and, I thought, fearsome. But as I grew older, I came to realize that he was just a big olʼ teddy bear inside. … Continue reading
Have you been forced out of a job? Are you facing a health issue? Are you a victim of a crime? Have you lost a loved one unexpectedly? Then you know that forced change embraces your life in an instant. … Continue reading
My father died on Father’s Day 2007. He had been in apparent good health until the night he was admitted to the hospital. That day, he went through his usual routines-swam a mile at the Y, did some errands, sat … Continue reading
At the opening ceremony of TCF’s National Conference held in 2003, Maria Housden, author of the marvelous book, Hannah’s Gift, was the featured speaker. She began by telling how that morning she had conversed with a man she met on … Continue reading
Since my daughter Jeannine’s death over eight years ago, I learned that the only thing I could control was the present. Doing this made it easier to allow the universe to take care of my future. However, I have recently … Continue reading
I was really good at living with intention before my husband died. I was good about doing things with good reason and being thoughtful, even purposeful, about what I did and how I did it. I had the luxury of … Continue reading