The Death of My Son

Note: The?letter below is in response to the poem Shopping (After the Death of My Daughter) posted on June 26, 2007.? No more words need to be said.

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I found your poem today! My son died April 13, 2007 and I feel this way every second of the day!?????

?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? Vivian
Dear Vivian,

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While you only wrote one line in response to Lana?s poem Shopping (After The Death of My Daughter), that one line speaks clearly of the pain you are experiencing. April 13th, the day your son died, is still very close and your wounds are still so very fresh. Grieving is a hard job and there are no time limits. This is a time to be gentle with yourself and allow yourself to grieve in your own way and in your own time.
We are so very sorry for your loss. We posted your note on the first page of The Grief Blog because we know it will help others as well as you by letting you know that you do not walk this path alone.

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You might find it helpful to listen on Thursday mornings to the radio show Healing the Grieving Heart? You can find information about it and a link to it on the first page of http://www.thegriefblog.com? You might also find a number of past shows that can give you help and comfort at http://thegriefblog.com/grief-grieving-death-of-a-child/

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Help and support can also be found through a Compassionate Friends Group in Your Area. For more information go to http://www.compassionatefriends.org/? You can find a local group as well as many valuable resources to help you along the way. Each member has experienced the death of a child and each has survived and grieved in his or her own way. With this group you do not have to walk this path alone.

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Blessings,

Drs. Gloria and Heidi Horsley

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The Open to Hope Community

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  • I am so sorry for the death of your son. It is so fresh. It has been over a year now for me. My only child died on July 22, 2006. There are good days and bad days. In the beginning there are more bad days. But I took one step at a time…moment by moment some of the time. And I have more good days than I used. to. I still feel the pain of losing her and all my dreams I had with her have been shattered. I find that journaling…writing short poems when I am feeling pain…tends to help release my pain. Instead of keeping it inside, I write…and I can then go back and reread my words. But the point is …it is OUT of me when I write those words. Then there is room inside for more positive thoughts. It is my way of grieving. We each have our own way and you will find the way that works for you. I am so sorry you had to join this exclusive club. It wasn’t worth the price. If you want to talk more, please visit my daughter’s website: http://alicia-golembeski.memory-of.com/. I will be thinking of you and holding you in my thoughts. Lots of hugs for you! Lana

  • amy mcbride says:

    to whom it may concern,
    august 29,2007
    I wanted to reply to this for support groups.
    It was january 18,2007 when i lost my son,he was only 15 years old,he didn’t deserve to die yet,he didn’t get to enjoy the rest of his life because he was diagnosed when he was 5 years old with depression. People just don’t know what it is like to have depression.
    In november it was so bad it took over his live you could see he was crying for help,he ate and slept and didn’t care about nothing. I tried so hard to get him help with the counseler and physccologist and nobody wnated to help finally i went to his school and i had a meeting with the pincipal and 10 other people and we got him down to the hospital to be evaulatedon jan.4,2007 and he was released on jan.10,on a new med and i told everybody my biggest fear was to find him and it happened, i don’t understand why, he was so loved, kind hearted kid that didn’t deserve it. I take it day by day, sometimes it is so hard to deal with, i think about him all the time. I have this empty hole that can’t be filled.I love and miss him so much it kills.
    well i guess that’s enough of my story for now and i guess everything happens for a reason, i think god had a plan for him.
    Thanks,
    Amy McBride

  • Debra Reagan says:

    Amy,
    Thank you for sharing your story. I wish I could take away the pain. I remember thinking how can one physically hurt this much and survive? But I knew I had to survive and eventually heal for myself and for the rest of my family.

    Please be kind to yourself. It sounds as though you did everything you could. Depression can be such terrible disease. It seems the most gentle and sensitive souls have the toughest roads to travel.

    By your reaching out to help others along this journey, your son’s life will touch many others and he will be remembered forever.

    Hugs,
    Debra Reagan