When You Want to Join Your Loved One in Death

Many of you have found your way to this oasis of hope by following a trail of tears. Many of you grieve. Many of you have suffered under the heavy burden of loss. You find camaraderie here. Understanding. Unity. Friendship. Compassion.

But it doesn’t replace the son, daughter, lover, friend or sibling that is no longer here to hug, kiss or annoy. I get it. I too fight every day to stay here. Part of me, a big part, wants to flee to my son, Erik’s, side. I dream about it. I fantasize about it. And then I let it go.

Ah. But for all of you who have toyed with the idea of exiting this life early to be with a deceased loved one, I will tell you this: You’ll probably cross over and realize what an unfortunate mistake you’ve made. Not only will you want to kick your own a#%, your loved ones will line up to do the same.

You’ll discover how you’ve sabotaged your own spiritual mission as well as that of countless others, some who you’ve yet to meet on the earthly plane. You’ll think: “Silly me. I made a mess of things. If only I’d had the courage and resolve to stick it out, to keep to my role in this often caustic drama. Then, I’d come back Home with a sense of spiritual accomplishment for myself and others.”

This isn’t our true home. We are actors on a huge stage playing what roles we must to remember who and what we truly are—to spiritually evolve to but one endpoint: to become unconditional love.

In a perfect world, every path we take should be paved with love rather than fear. Of course, it doesn’t always work out that way, so if we find ourselves traveling along a road of fear, we need to stop, thank it for the lessons it had to offer, and find our way back to Love.

So how do we fill that hole in our heart that our loved one left behind? I can tell you that no litter of puppies, no fluffy kitten, no winning lottery ticket and no new car will do. That part of us is gone, but only by temporary measure.

Sometimes it helps me to think, “Sure, I want Erik back, but he was so unhappy here. His prospects for any kind of success, spiritual or otherwise, were grim.” So, I am happy for him. He is home. And I am proud of what he’s done and will continue to do for us in the Channeling Erik family.

Every hug, every kiss, every conversation I sacrifice for his own welfare and for the greater cause that he is meant to champion. That sacrifice is not an absolute, but only a postponement until the not so distant future. A blink of an eye in the grand scheme of eternity.

So, think of your loved one with pride and happiness. Imagine them as a beautiful rainbow of colors shining down on you, flowing into your soul. As it warms your heart, you can’t help but smile and find joy even in death. Take comfort in knowing that you will be reunited for all eternity. And given that time doesn’t exist, know that you are already there in their arms.

Elisa Medhus 2011

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Elisa Medhus

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Elisa Medhus, physician and mother of five, has practiced internal medicine in Houston, Texas for over thirty years. She is also the author of three award-winning parenting books: Raising Children Who Think for Themselves, Hearing is Believing: How Words Can Make or Break Our Kids, and Raising Everyday Heroes. After the death of her 20 year-old son, Erik, Dr. Medhus began journaling her grief in her blog, Channeling Erik. She knew that only in helping others could she heal herself. Because of her strong science background, she formerly viewed spiritual matters such as the soul’s survival of death with skepticism, but once Erik began to communicate with family, friends and blog members, her entire paradigm shifted. After devouring various books on the quantum physics explaining the science behind spirituality, Dr. Medhus is no longer a skeptic. Now, she channels Erik through a medium, asking him questions about death, the afterlife and more. As her blog members join her in this journey toward spiritual understanding, Erik continues to offer not only his insight as an insider, but also comic relief with his mischievous pranks. For more, visit www.channelingerik.com.

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