There are just times when grief hits you like a tidal wave. The waves hit again and again.

I’m just trying to come up as I tread water and catch my breath, trying to breathe and stay afloat.

Greg’s 27th birthday earlier this year was one of those days for me. It was a week before Greg’s 27th birthday and I was already “feeling it.” I have not done well on the two birthdays since his accident.

What really caused me a lot of pain on this birthday was the realization that this is another year that I count in Greg’s age but that he will never actually be. Yes it took 22 months for that to “set” in my brain.

Another birthday for Greg but Greg will always be 25.

Not 26. Not 27. Not 28.

He will never grow old and grey with me. He will always look the same as he did at 25, but I’ll grow older.

He will always have a full head of red hair and red goatee and the most beautiful blue eyes you have ever seen.

I will eventually have grey hair and wrinkles.

I was only 6 months older than Greg when I lost him.

Now I’m 2 years and 6 months older than he will ever be. That is not fair.

Not only is Greg not here but my Greggie “will always be 25” and that hurts more than you know.

All Material Copyright @ Brandi Reyna 2012