Your Deceased Loved Ones Are Okay and Want You To Know That

As a psychic medium, I have the job of reconnecting with those who made their transition to the other side. When clients first come see me, I explain we are eternal spiritual beings having a temporary human experience on earth. The energy of who we are continues to exist after the physical body dies.

Our deceased loved ones often come around us to let us know they are okay. When they do, they retain their original personality, one of the ways to tell messages are from them.

One day while I was taking a nap, I dreamt I was in a crowded place, and I heard my mother loud and clear saying, “I have an important announcement! I am here and I’m okay!”

When she was talking, I knew without a doubt it was truly her speaking. My mother had this type of humor and would often make it known that she had an important thing to say when she was still here on earth.

After our loved ones cross over, they are very anxious to let us know they are okay. I always tell my clients that they do not have to look for signs, the signs will come to them.

The signs our loved ones give us most often are:

They come through as an animal. Our loved ones are able to use their energy to go inside of an animal, such as a butterfly, ladybug, bird, or dragonfly – for a brief period of time.

They place common objects such as feathers, coins, or rocks in our path. Our loved ones like to place things over and over again in our path that were significant to them.

They give off fragrances. We can often tell our deceased loved ones are around us when we smell their perfume, flowers, cigar or cigarette smoke, or any other familiar smell they had.

They make songs come on at the perfect time. We know they are around when their favorite songs come on at the right time with the exact words we need to hear.

They come to us in dreams. One of the easiest ways for them to come through to us is in our dreams. All we need to do is to ask them to come, and they will.

They show us the same numbers over and over. They loved to give us numbers that are relevant to them or you, such as birthdates, anniversaries – or repeating numbers.

They allow us to feel peaceful for no reason. When our loved ones are in the room, they usually make us feel so loved and at peace. It usually happens at the most unsuspecting time.

They place thoughts in our head. Because they in spirit form, our loved ones don’t have an audible voice. Therefore, they give us messages telepathically. Pay attention to thoughts that just “pop” into your head. We can tell the difference between our thoughts and theirs by backtracking our thoughts.

 

They love to play with electricity. They turn electricity on and off. They like to flicker lights, turn the television and radio on and off, and make appliances beep for no apparent reason.

They make buzzing noises in our ears. Because our loved ones speak to us on a different, higher frequency, we may hear ringing in our ears when they are trying to get our attention.

The list can go on and on, if you haven’t received any of these signs, simply ask your loved ones to come to you to let you know they are okay.  Tell them to give you what I call a “without a doubt sign” so that you know absolutely know the sign is from them.  The more you are aware of the messages they are giving you, the more they will continue to allow you to know they are present. Be patient and persistent, and I promise that they will give you the signs you have always wanted.

Karen Noe 2011

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Karen Noe

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Karen Noe is a renowned New Jersey-based psychic medium, spiritual counselor, and healer with a two-year waiting list. She is the author of "The Rainbow Follows the Storm: How to Obtain Inner Peace by Connecting with Angels and Deceased Loved Ones," "Through the Eyes of Another: A Medium's Guide to Creating Heaven on Earth by Encountering Your Life Review Now," and "Your Life After Their Death: A Medium's Guide to Healing After a Loss." She is the founder of the Angel Quest Center in Ramsey NJ, where she teaches classes, gives readings, and practices alternative healing. You can listen to Karen on The Angel Quest Radio Show by tuning to www.wrcr.com on the first Saturday of every month at 1.05pm Eastern. Please visit her website at www.karennoe.com.

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  • Gina Lush says:

    My ex husband whom I have always loved dearly vice versa just passed away this July 16th, I want so much to know that he’s around me and our 3 grown daughters……we are having such a horrible time with this as we didn’t expect it, he was only 59yrs of age and a beautiful and giving soul…….

    Thank-you,
    Gina Lush

  • Karen Noe says:

    Gina, I’m so very sorry about the passing of your beloved husband. It’s still early, but have you received any signs from him? If not, ask him to give you a “without a doubt” sign to let you know he is okay. Ask him to come to you in a dream and to wake you up so you will remember the dream. He truly is okay and wants you to be too. xoxo

  • Flosie Raju says:

    Hi

    My father, M.A. Raju, died on 03/07/2012 of sudden heart attack. We could not see him alive and we did not talk to him in his last minutes. everything was over in 10 minutes. We love him very much and want to talk to him. Can u help us talk to him, please. Please help us. We want to say we love him and we will take care of amma.

  • Karen Noe says:

    Hi Rosie, I’m so sorry about the loss of your father. You can talk directly to him and he will hear what you are saying. You can even write it down in a letter. Then ask him for a “without a doubt” sign so that you know without a doubt he read your letter. It really works and he will see what you have written.
    Many blessings, Karen

  • Belinda says:

    I am 44 I seem to have lost alot of people in my life. Most of them are closest of relationships. My boyfriend when we were 16 he was hit by a drunk driver right after prom. My dad from cancer. My highschool best friend and her daughter. In a car accident. And recently my life long friend at age 40 from breast cancer. We were friends for 25 years. Its really starting to consume my every thought. I think my boyfriend at 16 was the most traumatizing of all. I wish i cpuld hear from him. I cant:(

  • Karen Noe says:

    Hi Belinda,
    You’ve lost so many important people in your life. I’m so sorry about all that you’ve been through.xoxo
    Please know they really are okay and would want you to know that. As for your boyfriend, he’s gone a long time. What I have found with many of my readings is that the longer one has been gone, the harder it is to communicate with them. It’s not that they are not around. It’s just that they have acclimated to the other side. Ask your boyfriend to give you a big sign to let you know he is okay. Be persistent and then wait and see what happens.
    I hope that helps.
    Many hugs, Karen

  • julie says:

    My mom recently passed away on Oct 1, 2012. She lived with me the last few years of her life and we were close. She had a long hard battle at the end with cancer and suffered greatly the last 6 weeks of her life in the hospital. At the very end I knew her time was very near, I was at the hospital and I told her to go with God, it was ok and that I loved her. I left the hospital that night to go home and get some sleep, passed out on the couch about 10:30 PM and had a dream (which is something that I never do or at least never remember). I had a dream of a horrible storm, very dark sky, and in the very distant horizon I saw a tornado and became concerned about where my mom was and if she was safe. The very next instant in my dream I was somewhere else (it was not home where we lived) but a very open place with nothing around us, and I saw my mom walk above (like on a walkway the best I could describe) and I could see all of her just clearly walking above me and with her was my most beloved dog who passed away 3 years ago and was following right behind her. I remember yelling up at her to hurry up to come down to where I was, and then I was instantly awoken from the dream by the phone ringing and just knew what that phone call was. Sure enough, it was the hospital informing me that she had just passed away, it was 1:10 AM. I do believe my mom was letting me know she just made it to heaven, even before the hospital got the chance to tell me.

  • Karen Noe says:

    Hi Julie,
    Yes, it definitely sounds like it was your Mom telling you she made it to heaven. What a wonderful dream/ visitation!
    Many blessings, Karen

  • Suz says:

    Karen,

    My father passed on October 4th after a long battle with illness. We had a tumultuous relationship and hadn’t spoken for the last 5 years. I was by his side as he lay in a coma when he died, however I didn’t get to talk to him and have a conversation before he passed. I am living with a lot of guilt. Last night I had a vivid dream where I was about 5 five in my childhood home and I was sobbing saying “daddy I miss you so much” and my dad was holding me and comforting me.
    Do you think this is my dad reaching out to me?

  • Karen Noe says:

    Hi Suz,
    Yes, it sounds like your Dad was truly there with you and was telling you that everything was okay! Try writing him a letter, telling him everything you would want to say to him. I know he will be aware of your words to him! (For more info about this, you can read my book, “Through the Eyes of Another: A Medium’s Guide to Creating Heaven on Earth by Encountering Your Life Review Now.”)
    Your Dad sees the “bigger picture” and wants to make amends as well! He is okay and wants you to be too. xoxo
    Hugs, Karen

  • Helen says:

    My friend died very suddenly last week. It happened that I hadn’t spoken to him in a while and couldn’t remember what our last conversation had been, and it had been eating away at me all week. Then on Saturday I happened to read an article in the paper about some guy who’d been angsting about his last words to his dying father, and the guy had come to the conclusion that too much emphasis was placed on last words and it was all the other memories that mattered. Do you think that was a sign from my friend that he’d forgiven me?

    Also we became friends just before Christmas 2008, and that Christmas my grandad’s TV broke and ended up causing World War 3 among my family (long story) but this friend was the one person who managed to make me smile and let me vent at the time, and over the years this incident became a running joke between us i.e. “hope your telly’s working this year!” The day after I read the article my grandad called and said he was having problems with his television. Is this another sign? Am I clutching at straws? I refuse to believe sarky comments I’ve seen on websites that things like this are demons’ work but I wish I knew what it meant!

  • Karen Noe says:

    Hi Helen, I absolutely DO think these are signs from your friend telling you he is okay and to stop worrying about what your last words were with him. It’s also no coincidence that your Grandad was having problems with his television. Your friend may be “playing games” from the other side. The key here is – you suspected these were signs. You didn’t look for them – the signs came to you!
    I hope that helps.
    Have a great day! xoxo
    Hugs,
    Karen

  • Lee Jukes says:

    Hi my mother passed away on Oct 29th. She had lung cancer and we were told she passed away peacefully in her sleep in hospital.

    What is hurting the most that I have had no signs to me that she is ok and I really want to contact her or know she’s there etc

  • Karen Noe says:

    Hi Lee,
    I’m so sorry about the passing of your mother. Did she make her transition this Oct. 29? If so, it was very recent, and that is probably why you haven’t received any signs from her. Ask her to give you a sign though, and ask her to make it big so that you will know without a doubt she is okay. Even if you don’t receive a sign though, please know that she truly is okay and wants you to be too!
    Blessings, Karen

  • Besiana says:

    Two of my cousins passed away in a tragic car accident last week. They were both sisters. One of them recently turned 15 and the other 17. I am grieving terribly of their deaths. I had grown up with these girls. This is the third car accident they have been in. I talked to the youngest sister just a night before and we were talking about our futures like we always did. I am worried and sad at the same time, sad that I will never get to see them as long as I’m alive and scared because I don’t want them to be afraid and lost , I want them to be up in heaven with God. They were both religious and strongly believed in God, never did any harm to anyone. I have so many things I wish I could have told them and so many unanswered questions. Does religion play a role in the fate of a deceased loved one? Do all souls go to heaven? Will they be in heaven? How do I know they are alright and safe? What happens after someone is deceased? Should I pray everyday for them? Can they see me and hear what I say?

  • Karen Noe says:

    Hi Besiana,
    Please know that your cousins really are okay. They are not afraid and yes, they are in heaven.xoxo They have no unanswered questions now. They are one with God and are totally at peace. They can hear what you are saying – if it’s directed to them, so yes, talk to them. Ask them to give you signs so that you know they are around you. They are okay and would want you to know that!
    Many hugs and blessings, Karen

  • Besiana says:

    Thank you so much Karen. Your advice really worked. You wouldn’t believe the dream I had last night. I was in a room by myself and then my siblings were shocked to see these 2 white shadows floating above them. They then told me it was my two cousins. When I went to the room where they had seen the 2 spirits. They transformed into a butterfly and landed right on me. Then they flew out the window. Is this the sign you said to be aware of? If it is, a burden has just been lifted off my shoulders. Sometimes I also feel no grief but a sense of peace. Although, I will have a longing for my cousins as long as I’m alive. I also am happy that they are now with God. One day I hope to reunite with them in heaven and never have to worry about death anymore ;)

  • Karen Noe says:

    Besiana,
    That is so wonderful! Yes, this is the sign I was talking about! How wonderful!!!
    Many blessings,
    Karen

  • Besiana says:

    Something very shocking happened to me. A psychic whom I never met approached me and told me that she reunited my two deceased cousins because they have been lost. This broke my heart. I thought they made the transition to the other aide. She also added that they weren’t going to cross over yet because of their grieving mother. I thought they were in heaven? Howcan I communicate with them and twll them its time to move on?

  • Karen Noe says:

    Besiana, Your cousins were never lost! They did make their transition and are very much at peace and are in heaven! Please don’t listen to what that “psychic” said. Oh my gosh!
    Many hugs, Karen

  • Besiana says:

    Sorry Karen to keep turning to you for my grief problems. I couldn’t help but ask why I started having terrible nightmares about my deceased cousins. Its not just me who keep having them, but a lot of my relatives as well. Since the two girls died in a car wreck, the oldest girl who died keeps visiting me, she always appears alive but always blind and sometimes sick. She keeps insisting to me she’s alive and well, but I keep correcting her, I tell her she’s dead as well as her sister. And then she says to me exactly,” I miss her so much”, implying that towards her younger sister. Then I tell ask her why, and she tells me because she’s dead. The dreams are so vivid and the older girl feels so real like I’m touching her face physically, I feel her cold face. She gave me a hug, and then I wake up. In other cases, it’s always the older girl being blind she always tells me she can’t see anything. My aunt had the same exact dream except she said the older girl told her that her sister was being hurt by people, they were throwing rocks at her and she was bleeding. How can I bare these terrible things? I’m here thinking their ok, but I get the worst dreams. They make me cry more and more. The older sister also tells me that she lost her bracelet. She always wore this black marble like bracelet, always. When she was alive. She told me that it was at the site of the accident because her mother who is alive told me that she wore it in the car. When my aunt went to look for it on the road, it was missing. My cousin in my dream keeps telling me to get it and give it to my aunt. How can I get it if it’s not there? Can you please give me some closure Karen? Thanks.

  • Karen Noe says:

    Oh my gosh Besiana. I’m so sorry you are having these dreams. They really do sound like they are coming from your subconscious, and not from your cousins. They really are okay. However, prayers always do help. Pray that they see the light and are at peace. Tell the angels and their deceased loved ones to join them so that they are all together. Then thank God and the angels for hearing and answering your prayers. Then tell everyone who else who is having these dreams to do the same.
    Let me know how everything goes.
    Many hugs, Karen

  • Briana says:

    Sorry to bother you with such a stupid question,but how did you become a medium?How did you realize you we’re a medium?
    I would greatly appreciate it if you answered my question I am very curious.Thank You:)

  • Karen Noe says:

    Hi Briana,
    I had a spiritual experience that enhanced my psychic abilities. It’s a long story, but if you are interested, I talk about it in both my books – Through the Eyes of Another, and The Rainbow Follows the Storm.
    Hugs, Karen

  • Jessica Maurer says:

    Hi Karen,
    I recently lost my boyfriend on March 10, 2013..Me and our 6 year old son talked to him the night on March 9, 2013 we made plans for the next day..I told him when I get off of work and come and get him…I called him to see if he was ready and he passed in the morning..he went into diabetic coma, he was 28..We were together for 9 years he is my true love…I tried talking to him alot but I get nothing..Is there anything I can try to reach him to let me know he is okay..When i’m at work now everyones name is his name and they buy what he would buy it’s strange..I just wanna know if he is okay :/

  • Karen Noe says:

    Hi Jessica,
    I’m so sorry for the passing of your boyfriend. It sounds like he is giving you signs using his name and making people buy what he would have bought. As for receiving messages, he is probably speaking to you telepathically, that is, he is probably talking to you as thoughts. To differentiate between his thoughts and yours – just notice the thoughts that just pop into your head. Those thoughts very well could be him talking to you and letting you know he is around you!
    Many hugs, Karen

  • Caroline Leblanc says:

    I want to know about Evan. He was murdered.

  • Karen Noe says:

    Caroline, Please know that Evan truly is okay. The physical body is only temporary, but his spirit lives on. Although his physical presence was taken in such a horrible way, the essence of who he is continues. He would want you to be alright too. I’m sending many prayers and hugs your way. xoxo
    Karen

  • Uma says:

    Hi karen,

    I lost my beloved hubby on 20 April 2013 ,due to sudden heart attack n it happened right infront of my eyes , i saw him leaving totally devastated i am trying to get all the info to communicate with him , but i must say it works it it does gives me relief but the worry in me is how long will i be able to feel his presence , by me wanting him to stay with me till my time comes will it in anyway disturb his after world life or task given . I also have this question in me wat he would have felt when he left as on the said day we were out for a holiday , we were in this hotel less then 1 hour n all our dreams just crashed . Please help me as i just cant get over it ..

  • Karen Noe says:

    I’m so very sorry for the loss of your precious husband. When you communicate with your husband and ask for signs, you are not disturbing his peace. Please don’t worry about that. Whenever those who have passed come through in appointments, I often hear, “Heaven wouldn’t be heaven without being able to be with you.” Continue to talk to him and ask him to give you signs to let you know he is okay and is there with you. He is at peace and would want you to be too! xoxo

  • yburgosYerrilli says:

    Hi Karen,

    I lost a friend last summer in a motorcycle accident he was 19 years old. The night he died I cry so much, but suddenly went peacefully to sleep. The next day my sister, who I share a room with tells me there was a black moth on my headboard, and when she got closer it had disappear. I knew that was a sign. Anyways, after a few days I went to his funeral, and for the next weeks following his funeral I had recurring dreams with him where he would be angry and sad. (He wasn’t wearing a helmet at the time of the accident, and many people believed that could have made a difference.) Well, after a lot of praying every night I accepted his death, and was okay because I felt him so near, and knew he wasn’t truly gone.

    Since the end of the summer I was okay, but ever since mother’s day I haven’t been able to sleep. I have had dreams where I see him, and I start crying and telling him I miss him and so does he. Then, I had another dream where he tells me he isn’t dead and that it was an accident and he going to fix it. I try to tell him he’s dead and he just sighs and tells me he really misses me.

    I want to know if he’s okay, or at peace? Does he need my help, prayers? I won’t be okay until I know he is I thought he was fine.

  • Karen Noe says:

    I’m so sorry about the loss of your dear friend. Any dream that is frightening isn’t him – that’s you subconscious worrying about him. A true visitation from him would be peaceful – and when you wake up, you’ll know he was truly there. Ask him to come to you in a dream and to wake you up after it so that you will remember it. He really is okay – and would want you to be okay too.
    Blessings, Karen

  • Kelly says:

    I am having great difficulty dealing with the loss of my loved one whom passed nearly 7 years ago. I feel so much guilt and question the decisions that were made. I am trying so desperately to make peace with myself over the loss but am still struggling. What can I do to feel at peace. I miss this person so much and just want her to know I am sorry for her suffering here on earth.

  • Karen says:

    I’m so sorry about the loss of your loved one. She truly is okay and would want you to be okay too. She is able to see why those decisions were made, so please do not feel guilty. You may wish to write her a letter telling her everything you want her to know. Then ask her to give you a sign to let you know she is aware of what you wrote. (I talk more about this concept in my book “Through the Eyes of Another: A Medium’s Guide to Creating Heaven on Earth by Encountering Your Life Review Now.) Hugs, Karen

  • Jules says:

    Both of my bosses of 8.5 years, both doctors (husband and wife), passed away unexpectedly last year 62 days apart from each other. I am having a tough time not only with the loss of my job, but mostly missing her. I feel that
    I am having a hard time because of not having closure, because of their Jewish background,
    by not attending a ceremony, wake, etc. They were both flown to and buried in Virginia,

  • Karen Noe says:

    Jules, I’m so sorry about the loss of both of your bosses. It sounds like they chose to be together because they passed so close to one another. Please know they truly are okay and would want you to be okay too. Ask them to give you signs to let you know they are around you. Maybe you’d like to have a little ceremony of your own to say goodbye (since you did not attend a ceremony for them). You may wish to write them letters and release them in the water, send them up in a balloon, burn them, or whatever else feels good to you.
    I hope that helps.
    Many blessings, Karen Noe

  • Nicole says:

    Hello, my name is Nicole and I lost my mom from breast cancer. She passed away when I was only six years old and now I’m a teenager. She also fought breast cancer for 6 years. I really don’t remember who she truly was because I was young, but I do have some memories but not a lot. I read that you’ll know if it’s really your loved one trying to give you a sign, but I really didn’t know my mom so how would I know it’s really her? I’ve watched old family videos with her in it and heard so many stories from family about her but I still truly don’t know her. I always find dimes at the randomest times and I honestly do believe its her because she always used to collect dimes. But I don’t know it’s just hard to believe its really her sometimes

  • Debra Ockerman says:

    My husband passed in on September 6, 2013. I have asked and received many signs. I am devastated. He was married once before and I worry that he is with her now in heaven. I went to an amazing reading yesterday that was spot on. She said that they have trouble being at peace when we worry and are upset. I just was so upset, mornings are the worst. I wake up every morning at 2 am she brought it up and said that he was trying to communicate with me. I asked him questions and got answers from him. I was very upset and nervous just now and I heard a ringing in my ears that was quite pronounced and that has not happened. I believe he is trying to help me in any way he can. Then I think that I am imaging it. I just get upset and want signs and I get them every time. Is this hurting him. I am left with four children one from his first marriage and two from his late wife. We have one daughter. I am all they have, my eldest stepdaughter doesn’t have a good relationship. I worry that he is with his late wife but the medium who knew names of everyone assured me that they have a lot of issues to work out and heal. He is completely happy with me. She repeated word for word how he told her I let him pass over. Is it wrong to keep asking for signs. The buzzing in my ears went away but surprisingly calmed me down. Any suggestions or thoughts

  • Teyler says:

    My Grandma just passed away on September 5, 2013 and she was my Best Friend. We found out on my birthday April 22nd, 2013 that she had lung cancer and we moved down that summer to help care for her. I had responsibilities as well as my 2 Cousins to take care of the house while they took care of my Grandma. I watched the Cancer take over her body as it spread. This was horrible as she was the strongest lady I knew. By the end of July she would enter the confusing state and we had her hospitalized at least every other week. She promised me she would always be here and talk to me..I would just have to figure it out. Well like I said she just passed recently and before she did her Mom visited her, her Moms been gone since she was 12. She said her Mom told her 5 After 5. We though 5:05 she would pass. She ended up passing 5 months after her brother and the 5th day of September. Now I hear her through the wind, and the sun. She came once through a dream which I woke up after. I miss her bad and I don’t talk much on this subject as I hide my feelings about them. This is also my first death I have dealt with. She kept her promise to me though. But I feel like I wronged her as I sorta cut ties with her because I didn’t wanna hurt so bad and I was wrong and I don’t know how to apologize to her.

  • angel says:

    My brother was murdered, he was only 28, i was with him the day before it happened. He was with me from morning to night helping me move in my new place. We were very close, i need to know he’s ok and yes iv asked him to send me a sign and have not received one. How do i know he’s in heaven? Because of this i question my faith

  • SE says:

    I recently lost my mother three weeks back and I spoke to her two hours before she passed. I would like to get in touch with you to know a couple of things. I feel her presence but I am not sure if that is my mind playing tricks on me or what is really happening. I was unable to get a closure with her was unable to attend her funeral since I was out of town and it was a sudden unexpected death. She was a psychic herself, a medium and had exceptional ESP. I need some guidance. I write to her sometimes but not sure if she can get the message.

  • Missie says:

    Hi Karen, I lost my boyfriend to gun violence July 27,2013. We just started a new life living together 16 months before the tragedy.My daughters viewed him as a father figure and miss him terribly. I was with him when the incident happened. I was glad that the gunman let me drive away from the scene,however I feel so much guilt because I’m alive an he isn’t. I had to hear his last words as I was calling 911. He said “Babe I’m not going to make it” Those words an the look of him dying in my passenger seat of my car play in my mind over and over. I think I had a few sign but aren’t sure.He gave me a hug in a dream once, he told me I needed it, then disappeared. I cannot get that day out of my mind He hung on in the hospital for 73 hours then coded again an died.I never left his side.How do I know if he knows I was with him the whole time. It has been a year but I don’t know how to move on emotionally.Sometimes I feel like I’m waiting for him to come home.I wish he would give me a solid sign that he is ok.I have yet to get that solid sign.I have Prayed an asked him to come to me.Little things have happened but I’m not sure if it is a sign or not.What else can I ask him, can I ask him for a specific sign?

  • Shameka says:

    Hi. I recently lost my best friend. She was very ill and lost her teeth and her hair. I often wonder if she is okay. About a month ago I had a dream and in my dream she was sitting with my sister and I talking and laughing. She was so beautiful. Her hair was full and wavy. Her teeth were perfect and she looked so healthy. Is she letting me know she is okay ? I also have a cousin that was murdered and a baby girl that passed away. Before my grandmother passed away she often had visions of them. Did they come for her ? Are they all okay ? Are they together and are they still with us? I smell my grandmothers coffee and nobody in my house likes coffee !! I also often find dimes in my washer.

  • scott says:

    My dad was my best friend and he passed away a little more than a year ago. We had a relationship that far transcended that of father and son. He died suddenly at the hospital. I know in my heart that no son could love or respect his father more than I did, and I was a terrific son and he was the type of father I strive to be. Even knowing all that, I have such strong feelings of guilt and sadness. I know those thoughts are not reasonable but that is what is inside my soul now. I don’t laugh anymore and there is no true joy. I have a 13 month daughter who i love like crazy and I want to be such a good daddy for her. I need to know that Dad is ok, that he isnt mad at me for not protecting him that last day and that he is with mom and that they want me to have the best life I can. I try my hardest to only think about him briefly during the day or it will consume me. What I do at night before I fall asleep is take a minute or so to talk to him, cry and tell him how much I need him to come to me in my dream and talk to me. Unfortunately, on the few occasions where he is in my dream , I know he is gone and I know I want to talk to him but I get scared and wake up. On the few questions i have been able to ask him like are you happy….the answer I heard was “not really”. and once I asked him if mom was ok he said “not really” and I asked him how can that be if you are in heaven. At that point I woke up. I want to have a full life. I loved my dad so very much…he was my hero and he never ever let me down. I need to talk to him one more time and I am having a hard time moving forward. Thanks for listening