I LOST MY DAUGHTER WHO JUST TURNED 13 AUG 31 2006 SHE WAS VISITING HER BROTHER IN LAS VEGAS AND WAS KILLED AFTER FLYING OFF THE BACK OF MY SONS MOTORCYCLE. I AM STILL GRIEVING AND SEEMS AS THOUGH I AM JUST WAKING UP AFTER A YEAR SLOWLY. COULDNT WORK THE GUILT OF NOT BEING THERE LINGURES BUT DONT PUT A TIME LIMIT ON YOUR CHILDS DEATH NO ONE REALLY KNOWS.
KATRINA
Dear Katrina,
We are so very sorry for your loss. There is nothing harder than losing a son or a daughter regardless of the circumstances, but a sudden accident leaves? us stunned with disbelief for such a long time. A year is not a long time and we encourage you to be gentle with yourself. We each grieve in our own time and in our own way and you need to allow yourself time to do that. It is natural for a mother to feel guilt because she is not there for her child even though that was not possible at the time. We want to believe that is a safe world but it isn?t always. The fact is that things happen, like? this mortocycle accident, that are out of our control and not caused by anything we did or did not do.
We encourage you to seek counseling with a Grief Counselor? to help you through this or seek out a? Compassionate Friends group in your area. Each member of Compassionate Friends has experienced the death of a child and each has survived and grieved in his or her own way.? For more information go to http://www.compassionatefriends.org/? With this group you do not have to walk this path alone.
We invite to listen on Thursday mornings to the radio show Healing the Grieving Heart? You can find information about it and a link to it on the first page of http://www.thegriefblog.com? You might also find a number of past shows that can give you help and comfort at http://thegriefblog.com/grief-grieving-death-of-a-child/
We will post your letter on The Grief Blog because these letters always help someone else who is experiencing the death of a child. And voicing your grief also brings help to you as well.
Blessings,
Drs. Gloria and Heidi Horsley
Tags: grief, hope
Katrina- My heart goes out to you. On August 25th, 2007, I laid my motorcycle down and as the tragic events go…that ride cost me my 10year old daughter. She was riding on the bike w/me. Brooke was my everything. I was there, I lived it and I live w/the lingering guilt everyday, I did this to her. I go to bed each night hating myself and wake up everyday wondering why people are so kind to me. If it weren’t for my 12 year old son, I think my husband would outwardly hate me for the reponsibility I bare in the accident. I don’t know how to tell you how sorry I am for your loss, but I respect your feelings.