I am 26 years old, until December 17th gets here. I am married to the love of my life and father of my son. I live in Lawrenceburg, KY; just a small town south of the capital Frankfort. In 2006, I lost a sister, Amanda Rose Wainscott, to suicide. She was only 18 months older than me. Growing up we shared everything and did everything together. When it was her birthday, I still got a small present and vice versa. We went trick or treating together, we went to the same school, had some of the same friends, and shared everything. She even gave me my first haircut when we were 5 and 6 years old. She was my childhood. I watched my Mother struggle with her grief of losing a child, while I grieved in silence. Siblings seem to be forgotten sometimes. Then in November of 2011, I found out how she felt when I had to bury my son, Cullen Holt Fannin. He was born at 26 weeks gestation due to me having HELLP Syndrome, which is like preeclampsia, but fairly worse. There was also a cyst on the umbilical cord, which caused a nutrition deficiency. He only weighed 13.4 ounces which was the size of a 20 week old. I cannot even begin to explain the difference in grieving for a sibling and a child. I have also suffered through the loss of 3 best friends, 2 cousins, my Grandparents, and a few friends and acquaintances. Ever since I can remember, writing has been my outlet for my feelings. I have written several things for the local chapter of The Compassionate Friends, which I have belonged to since my sister passed. I have made many friends with the organization and have just joined the steering committee to help better them. I love to hear people take about my loved ones and I love to tell people about them. I do everything in memory of my son, sister, and loved ones I have lost to keep their memories alive when they are not here to do it themselves.
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