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Grieving Suicide, Homicide or Traumatic Deaths: Finding Purpose in the Pain

Posted on February 17, 2018 - by Mary Joye

If everyone around you does not understand why you can’t get past the past, perhaps it is because you are grieving a very complex or traumatic death. In the face of murder, suicide or untimely trauma, it feels nearly impossible to stop the intrusive thoughts. They play through your mind like a tape loop in a seemingly never-ending guilt-and-shame-provoking dialogue. Phrases like: “If I was there, this wouldn’t have happened.” “What if I just made it a point to call or care more often?” “Why didn’t I have an intervention for the drug use?” “I feel so guilty. This is […]

Promptings of Hope

Posted on February 14, 2018 - by Lisa Irish

After a long, cold New England winter, I find myself on the lookout for any sign of Spring … a crocus peeking out of the melting snow, a slight haze of color in the trees across the lake, my own spirits lifting. These promptings … encouragements, reminders…return each year to help me make the transition from winter to spring. If I listen, as one listens for the voice off-stage with the line I keep forgetting, I find the guidance I need to survive the last days of winter’s chill. Promptings have appeared in my work with those who grieve, as […]

Head and Heart: Like the Acorn and the Oak Tree

Posted on February 9, 2018 - by Charles W. Sidoti

Grasping a concept or idea intellectually is one thing: having it become a real part of who you are is something different. I once heard it said, “Scripture contains the word of God in the way that the acorn contains the oak tree. It is all there, but its presence is made known to us little by little.” Living at God’s speed means accepting that my understanding of the way God works in my life will come to me in God’s time. Sometimes the proverbial light bulb goes on in our heads and we learn something instantly, but most of the time real learning […]

Death of Husband Led Her to Stop Fearing Life

Posted on February 7, 2018 - by Laura Macauley

The word “fear”. Take a moment to think about what fear means to you. To me, the word brings up a million different images. To most, it means that they are afraid of something: afraid to speak in public, or scared and nervous to try something new, which is often actually a fear of failure. To me, fear means that I am not stepping outside of my comfort zone and I am not taking healthy chances. All changes, all goals and all life choices are the result of looking fear in the face. Fear causes people not to live. That […]

Strong Back, Soft Front: Staying Open to Emotion

Posted on January 23, 2018 - by Greg Adams

“Every man is for himself, on that you can rely You’ll have to hide behind a shield to stay alive.” David Roth The Armor Song How do we envision life—what image catches its essential nature? Is life basically a struggle, a constant challenge and confrontation with obstacles? Is life a gift, a blessing to receive with gratitude, care, and nurture? Is it a test or a trial for what comes next? Or perhaps life is like a small boat on a huge ocean riding out the great varieties of weather—storms swells which can capsize, dead calm with no discernible movement […]

The Stuff of Death

Posted on January 18, 2018 - by Kim Shute

When my grandmother died, no one had touched the belongings in her attic or most of her house in at least 11 years. Her attic was the kind you access from a set of pull down rungs at the top of steep stairs surrounded by creepy ancient wallpaper that looked indicative of Versailles. The pull down ladder stairs creaked threatening to give way under any amount of weight more significant than 91 pounds, my grandmother’s weight. She had a three bedroom house with an old barn up on the hill behind the house. It smelled of old New England town, […]

How Near-Death Experiences Change Our Thoughts About Death

Posted on January 12, 2018 - by Gloria Horsley

At the annual ADEC (Association of Death Education and Counseling), I spoke with Roberta Moore about her near death experience and how these experiences affect people’s thoughts and insights on death. When Roberta was 13 years old, she had a spontaneous out of body experience. When she was in her early 30’s she had a near death experience, which she describes as “overwhelming and wonderful.” Roberta discusses near death experiences, and how they affect people, in the video below: Here are some key takeaways from the video: Roberta believes it’s very comforting for people to know that when someone has […]

Coping With the Loss of a Teen by Suicide

Posted on January 10, 2018 - by Gloria Horsley

At the annual ADEC (Association of Death Education and Counseling), I spoke with Carolyn Zahnow about The Shore Grief Center and tips she has to find healing after suicide loss. Carolyn lost her son, Cameron, in 2005 when he was 18 years old. In the video below, Carolyn shares advice on how to cope with this experience if you’re grieving after having lost your teenage child to suicide. Here are some key takeaways from the video: The first year is awful, Carolyn says, and describes it as being in a fog. Carolyn first recommends going to a grief support group. […]

What’s On Your Brave-Making List?

Posted on January 10, 2018 - by Marlys Johnson

My husband and I met at his family reunion. His sister (my best friend) invited me for a weekend of baseball playing and river dunkings and campfire sitting on an Oregon-green campground. I didn’t know my friend had a fourth brother. Gary. Fast forward several years: Gary and I drove away from the annual campout a day early. He had awakened with a low-grade fever and flu-like symptoms which, if you’ve been on chemo and have tubes protruding unnaturally from your body, usually means an infection. We were experts at this. I packed the car, got my husband settled comfortably […]

Facing Mortality: Interview with Isabel Stenzel Byrnes

Posted on January 8, 2018 - by Gloria Horsley

At the annual ADEC (Association of Death Education and Counseling), I spoke with Isabel Stenzel Byrnes about living with an illness and learning how to find hope and find a balance. Isabel was born with cystic fibrosis, and she says that her friends with the illness gave her the support and skills needed to live with her disease. However, that support came at a cost for Isabel, as almost every year she lost at least one or two friends to cystic fibrosis. She explains that she got to witness how she would eventually die from her disease, but also become […]