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Grieving the Death of One’s First Love

Posted on January 15, 2025 - by David Daniels

On Grieving the Death of One’s First Love Question from Barbara: Is it normal to grieve over someone you have not seen in 30 years? Recently, a guy who was my first boyfriend when I was 15 was murdered. He was 47. I have not seen him since we were 15. I did not expect to feel so much loss. I do not remember how or why we stopped seeing each other, or how long our relationship lasted. I only have 4 or 5 memories. I don’t understand why I feel such a deep loss. He was a great guy then, […]

Winter Without Son is Lusterless

Posted on January 14, 2025 - by John French

When your child dies, the holidays quickly lose their luster. The entire spectrum of lights is muted to a dull gray, while the endless barrage of seasonal music only brings out the blues. When you combine that with freezing temperatures and the whirlwind of activities, it can lead to treacherous living conditions. Additionally, a string of silent nights bring neither comfort nor joy. I spend a tremendous amount of time and effort during the holidays trying to block out the past and ignore the present. Why? Because all the great memories reiterate how much I have lost. But without them, […]

Bleak Midwinter after Loss

Posted on January 10, 2025 - by Gail Norwood

A bleak midwinter silently advanced and settled in, both seasonally and in my soul. Gray, dreary January days reflected my dismal mood. Like a tomb, it was cold in the house and cold in my soul. Even the garden seemed to whimper softly as I slipped back to say hello upon my return. Dark and dormant as it had ever been, I sensed a palpable dirge in the wintry woodland, descending like a cold soft rain. Retreating inside through the well-worn back door, I was struck at the sudden realization that I was the sole inhabitant of our family home. […]

Finding Joy After Multiple Losses

Posted on January 8, 2025 - by Gloria Horsley

Dr. Nancy Saltzman’s story of survival and resilience stands as a testament to the human spirit’s capacity to endure and find joy after devastating loss. As an accomplished educator and recipient of the Milken Family Foundation Award, Saltzman faced unimaginable tragedy when she lost her husband and two sons in a small plane crash in 1995. A Foundation of Purpose Saltzman credits her ability to survive such profound loss to her upbringing and professional background. Raised in a family that emphasized making a difference in others’ lives, she carried these values into her career as an educator and school principal. […]

When Grief Affects Your Mood

Posted on January 6, 2025 - by Bradie Hansen

When Grief Affects Your Mood It was one of those days. You know what I’m talking about; when you wake up tired and you can’t quite sort out how you’re going to do all the things? There have been a lot of these kinds of days for me lately, as we’ve been in the full tilt of holiday energy. Sometimes I can remember why it might be harder this year than others. Sometimes I forget. When I forget is when things get more complicated. I’ve found over the years that the holidays, as nice as they can be, also hold […]

Art and Writing as Healing Tools

Posted on January 6, 2025 - by Heidi Horsley

When Britney DeSantis lost her father at age 13, she found solace in an unexpected gift – a journal. Two decades later, this simple act of putting pen to paper has evolved into a powerful healing journey that has touched thousands of lives. Through her business, Peak Paper Company, DeSantis has taught calligraphy, watercolor, and journaling to over 50,000 people worldwide. In a recent Open to Hope Conversations podcast interview with Dr. Heidi Horsley, DeSantis shared insights from her personal grief journey and discussed her award-winning guided grief journal, “Forget You Not.” The journal, which hit Amazon’s #1 most gifted […]

Ten New Year’s Eves: A Widow Remembers

Posted on December 30, 2024 - by Katy Hutchison

Ten New Year’s Eves December 31st has come and gone ten times since my husband Bob was murdered. While ringing in the New Year with friends, Bob left our dinner table to check on the home of a vacationing neighbor. It had become apparent no responsible adult was overseeing a party the neighbor’s teenaged son was throwing. Bob walked in on two hundred drunk and out of control youth. Within minutes he was dead, beaten to death by two young men angered by his efforts to shut things down. I was left a widow with four-year-old twins. The first year […]

Five Ways to Get Through the Holidays (When You’re Not Feeling Ho Ho Hopeful)

Posted on December 22, 2024 - by Heidi Gessner

Five Ways to Get Through the Holidays Holidays can be difficult when someone you love has died. Or you’ve lost your job. Or an important relationship has ended. It can be hard to watch others being joyful and merry while your life feels joyless. You may need to be more intentional about your plans this year. Here are 5 innovative ways you can get through (and maybe even enjoy them). Light a candle. Engage in a meaningful ritual. Set aside some intentional quiet time to think of your loved one (and your life). Perhaps write a letter letting him or […]

Tips for Bedside Visitors

Posted on December 19, 2024 - by Bernie Siegel

Tips for Bedside Visitors We know that you don’t need anyone to coach you or instruct you in lovingly reaching out and touching your loved one: holding her hand, putting a (warm or cool) wash cloth on his forehead or giving her a hug. My offering here is to help extend and enhance what you so naturally know how to do in helping your loved one heal. Our excitement about the healing potential of bedside visits came from someone I know who did “bedside ballet” with his mother-in-law shortly after she suffered a stroke. Family members credited this activity with […]

Five Tips After the Death of a Child

Posted on December 18, 2024 - by Fran Gerstein

Five Tips After the Death of a Child From the moment you get the news that your child has died, you are thrust into a surreal world. People are calling—including doctors, nurses, detectives, police, coroners, and funeral directors. You are disoriented, yet there are decisions that require your attention and macabre tasks you must attend to. Most of us rise to the occasion and react later. When you look back, you will undoubtedly wonder, “How did I get through that?” You will also be emotionally and physically confused for a long time. Take care of your mind and body and […]