When someone you love is grieving, the fear of saying the wrong thing can keep you frozen on the doorstep. Here are 12 things to say to a grieving friend, 5 things to never say, and the simplest, most powerful gift you can offer when words run out.
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Have you ever lost someone close, and in the brain fog of grief, wondered if you might forget some of the things you loved most about them? Their infectious belly laugh, extravagant generosity, or maybe their unconditional love for people? I get it. Since losing several of my closest and favorite family members- my beloved Mom, Dad, Nana, sister-in-love, Kay, and most recently, my “splendiferous” (his word) brother Mike, I’ve been trying to dig deep and remember exactly what it was that made each of their lives so memorable and magnificent. What if you could be the […]
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How many times have we heard it, or perhaps we’ve even said something like it ourselves: “Oh man, the first year after they died was hard, but I think the second year, in some ways, has been even harder.” It doesn’t seem fair, and how can it be fair that the second year of grieving can feel more challenging than the first? If and when that happens for us, it can feel rather crazy-making. Did I do something wrong? Is this normal? How can this even make sense? Good questions, and the answers to the first two are likely “no” […]
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It has been over a decade now since losing Andrea, and grief has reshaped my world. My memories of her are as vivid as ever. I remember her as a child, with her locks of curly, golden hair and captivating blue eyes. The continuous compliments were awe-inspiring wherever we went. The way the sunlight caught her curls and the childhood laughter melted my heart as she played. I remember the pride I felt that followed me through the years, as I witnessed her milestones, accomplishments, and the way she nurtured her little boy. Those moments shaped my days, and I […]
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I’ve come to believe that some souls simply aren’t meant to stay here long. And I don’t say that lightly. It’s not something I understand in any earthly way, because truthfully, I don’t. There’s no logic that can explain why someone we love so deeply could be here one day and gone the next. If there’s a reason, I wish I knew it. But I don’t. What I do believe is that we’re each sent here to touch certain lives. To love certain people. To leave imprints that carry on long after we’re gone. Maybe our time, no matter how […]
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Death is the eternal mystery, a mystery that fills our souls with both awe and terror. The consequences of the death of one’s mother is not like any other ordeal in life. Daughters are often faced with resurrecting a new life without a road map, catapulted upon the ruins that remain, while enduring indescribable emotional pain. Based on my experience of my mother’s death, and the shared narratives with other daughters, I have spoken with, this journey is both courageous and terrifying. You will regain your balance, but you will not be the same person. I have never surrendered my […]
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“ I love it when they drop the ball in Times Square. It’s a nice reminder of what I did all last year.” Bouncing back after a significant loss is not only daunting but often shatters one’s self-confidence. I wanted to prove to myself that my grief was not going to control me and force me to surrender just because certain tasks were tedious and the work was hard. Since my husband’s death, I began to question my desire to handle all the maintenance tasks and other things “we “used to do. So, I didn’t plant flower pots overflowing with […]
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Monday is my brother’s birthday, and he has been gone for almost four years. I have been more emotional for weeks, and I didn’t even realize it; it hit me like a brick wall the other day. Grief is crazy like that; how it can just come in and take over like a bad storm, and you don’t even realize it. Today I got a text from his wife, in a group chat with my other brother and his wife. Asking “Is the plan still on for Monday?” I was personally unaware of any plans for Monday. So, I had […]
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Grief is part of the human experience; however, the grief of daughters whose mothers have died is significantly different than other losses. Research is needed that does not quantify or reduce the suffering women experience to only numerical findings, but includes tools for grief empowerment. According to the National Alliance on Caregiving, over 53 million baby boomers are now caring for their ailing parents, and 61 percent of caregivers are women caring for a female relative, most likely their mothers. Because caregiving is considered a “woman’s job” (i.e., unpaid), women often suffer emotionally and financially from what is referred to […]
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Grieving Who We Were Before the World Changed I didn’t need another reason to mentally and emotionally struggle. It’s what I have always known, what continues for me. There is a quiet kind of grief that doesn’t always come with a clear ending. It’s the grief for the version of ourselves that existed before Covid struck, before uncertainty became the norm, and before we were reshaped by it. We not only lost loved ones, but we lost ourselves. We were quietly expected to continue, to move forward, but not everyone has been able to do that. Long-Covid is something many […]
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Open to Hope is an online community offering inspirational stories of loss, hope and recovery. We believe hope is the bridge between loss and recovery.
