The five stages of grief are the most famous and most misunderstood model of loss. Here’s where denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance actually came from, and why grief was never meant to be a tidy five-step line.
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When friends disappear after a loss, the second wound can hurt almost as much as the first. Why does it happen, and what can you do? Here are 7 compassionate insights for bereaved people whose friend circles changed after the death.
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Miscarriage and pregnancy loss grief is real, profound, and too often suffered in silence. Here’s how common pregnancy loss is, why your grief is valid, and how to find support after losing a baby you longed for.
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When my mother had a recent medical crisis, on my way home from the hospital nearly in tears, I called a first cousin. I was overwhelmed by a grief that felt new and heavy. I reached for someone who loves me and my mom, someone who has been in our family for longer than I have. She was kind enough to answer and stay on the line. She listened, was empathic, and said the right things. After we spoke, I felt I still needed more. So, I called my aunt. Similarly, I felt heard, empathized with, and truly supported. While the conversation left me feeling better than the one with her daughter, somewhere in the middle of that conversation, I […]
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Sudden death of a spouse is one of the most disorienting experiences a human can survive. There is no preparation, no goodbye, no chance to say what mattered. Here are 9 compassionate, therapist-tested ways to cope with the sudden death of a spouse and start finding your footing again.
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Five days after my husband’s death of cancer at the age of fifty-five, I stood in our master bathroom. To my right was our closet, stuffed with my clothes and Jason’s—ties he’d barely worn in years since his company got more casual, wrinkle-free button-downs and khakis, t-shirts from concerts he’d attended, and F-1 racing fan gear. I walked past the vanity, spotting his razor and toothbrush. His towel was still hanging over the shower’s glass door. When I stepped into our room, I saw Jason’s shoes organized perfectly in the soft, compartmented contraption hanging off the bathroom door. Far less […]
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Continuing bonds is the healthy, research-supported idea that we don’t have to “let go” of those we love to heal. Here’s what continuing bonds means, why sensing a loved one’s presence is normal, and how to stay connected.
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Judgment in Grief: A Societal Reflection As a society, we must ask ourselves: have we reached a point where the level of sympathy offered to grieving families depends on the choices made by their loved ones? It is troubling to consider that families may receive varying degrees of compassion based on how their loved one passed away—whether from cancer, overdose, accident, suicide, heart attack, or murder. This raises the question: are we so critical of others that we allow our judgments to influence who is deserving of more or less sympathy? Debating Irrelevant Issues While debates about whether addiction is […]
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Twenty-five years after September 11th, I continue to think about the families I came to know through my work with the FDNY–Columbia University Family Guidance Program. I worked closely with families who lost a firefighter in the World Trade Center attacks. I remain in touch with some of these families today, which has allowed me to witness how grief, resilience, and hope continue to evolve over time. Some of the children I once knew have grown into adults and even followed in their parents’ footsteps by becoming firefighters themselves. One of the most important things I learned is that grief […]
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Grief and sleep problems go hand in hand — loss disrupts rest for the vast majority of grieving people. Here’s why grief wrecks your sleep, when to be concerned, and gentle, practical ways to rest again.
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Open to Hope is an online community offering inspirational stories of loss, hope and recovery. We believe hope is the bridge between loss and recovery.
