Coping with the death of my twin has been an incredibly challenging and personal experience. Finding meaning and purpose in the aftermath has and continues to be a deeply personal journey. My writing helps.

I offer these suggestions for individuals as they navigate their own loss.

Give yourself space to heal

It is important to give yourself permission to grieve in your way and at your own pace. By allowing yourself the space to heal, you can gradually find meaning and purpose as you move forward on your journey of healing and self-discovery.

When it comes to exploring new passions and interests, it can be difficult to know where or when to start; you will simply know when it feels right. Learning to explore new passions can help ‘you’ reconnect with yourself. Setting meaningful goals can be a welcome distraction, providing you with a direction in the longer term, allowing yourself to continue, or to start homing in on your passion.

Choosing to connect with others, whether through personal relationships or community involvement, offers support and a sense of belonging during the grieving period.

Practicing Gratitude

Practicing gratitude can be a powerful tool for shifting perspective and finding moments of positivity. It can encourage you to focus on your blessings, no matter how small and can help cultivate resilience. Seeking spiritual or philosophical guidance can also offer comfort, providing a framework for you to understand those deeper questions around death.

Remember that finding meaning and purpose is a deeply personal journey and it’s okay to take the time you need to explore and discover ‘you.’ Coping with loss is always ‘about you.’

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Ilana Estelle

Ilana was born with a disability she didn’t know she had until the age of 46, when something her mum said caused her to look further into her disability and sight of her medical notes revealed that she had been diagnosed with cerebral palsy at the age of 2. That discovery turned out to be a unique and life-changing experience that has forced Ilana to stand back and look at her life’s experiences differently. On receipt of her diagnosis, Ilana set up her website, The CP Diary and uses her experiences to explore her emotional and physical health, with an inspiring message advocating positivity, resilience and change. Ilana likes to spend her days writing and blogging about anything that contributes to her health and wellbeing. She is an animal advocate and is passionate about environmental issues. When she is not writing or tending to her blog, Ilana enjoys days out exploring the Yorkshire countryside. Ilana lives with her husband in Yorkshire. Her grown up son and daughter both live in London.

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