Losing a Loved One 

The death of a loved one may leave us struggling, not always because someone has passed, but because of the problems they leave behind. When it comes to losing a loved one, it puts us into the limelight on our own mortality, particularly when it comes to the death of a parent. Where once we had a safety net, it is easy to begin to feel vulnerable. Also, we can be left with countless unresolved issues, which can leave us with many emotions, especially anger.

Losing a loved one brings with it many feelings. Sometimes we express those feelings, sometimes we bury those feelings underground. We know family well enough to know whether we can ‘talk things out’ or whether it’s better to hold off.

But even if you know you can’t talk things out, you can use your own internal thought process, and sometimes that is the best way. As you begin to look at things in ‘the whole,’ you begin to see the full picture of your experiences, and how you got to that place.

The Death of Parents

I remember when Mum was terminally ill, and my father was still alive at the time. I knew if she didn’t survive, the focus would start to be on me. Then when my father passed 6 years later, my thoughts went back to when I was a child, thinking my parents would be around forever. Time flies, it catches you out and you need to adapt.

But looking at my parents’ life brought me to my own. Seeing my parents’ mistakes helped me to re-evaluate my own life. That part was positive. Losing a loved one and looking and seeing life on ‘spirit side’, you realise you are on your own ‘earth side’ and that’s not easy.

Anger Doesn’t Work

We cannot always change the things that happen to us. We cannot also change where we were with that person when he or she passed, we can only change where we go from here, to see through a new set of eyes. It hurts us more to hold on to animosity, because we didn’t get the life we should have had or needed. It stops us from moving on with our lives and bonding with our own children, forming the best relationships that we can.

Through an understanding of spirituality, you learn that death is the crossing from one life to another. The human spirit is everlasting, and timeless.

Adjustment Takes Time

For anyone losing a loved one, it can take several years to adjust. Death is part of the living process. Death isn’t commonly spoken about, and death isn’t final. It’s simply the closing of one door and the walking through another. As we come from spirit before our physical lives, we go back to spirit.

For loved ones passing, their passing becomes part of a process where they will continue to live in spirit, in another form. They are always around us. For many, letting go becomes the biggest challenge and it’s that which forms part of the grieving process.

Read more from Ilana at https://www.thecpdiary.com

Ilana Estelle

Ilana was born with a disability she didn’t know she had until the age of 46, when something her mum said caused her to look further into her disability and sight of her medical notes revealed that she had been diagnosed with cerebral palsy at the age of 2. That discovery turned out to be a unique and life-changing experience that has forced Ilana to stand back and look at her life’s experiences differently. On receipt of her diagnosis, Ilana set up her website, The CP Diary and uses her experiences to explore her emotional and physical health, with an inspiring message advocating positivity, resilience and change. Ilana likes to spend her days writing and blogging about anything that contributes to her health and wellbeing. She is an animal advocate and is passionate about environmental issues. When she is not writing or tending to her blog, Ilana enjoys days out exploring the Yorkshire countryside. Ilana lives with her husband in Yorkshire. Her grown up son and daughter both live in London.

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