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Why Some Families are Resilient

Posted on December 20, 2017 - by Gloria Horsley

Kathleen Gilbert is based at Indiana University and specializes in grief counseling with military members and their families—however, she also works to help families build resiliency during deployment (without any deaths occurring). Gilbert spoke to Dr. Gloria Horsley during the 2015 Association on Death Education and Counseling conference about what she’s working on and how grief in military families is a niche. Members of the Indiana National Guard were Gilbert’s first clients, and she operated a camp to help with healing, processing and grieving. In all cases (so far), it has been fathers who were deployed. For the most part […]

7 Survival Strategies for the Newly Bereaved

Posted on December 17, 2017 - by Tambre Leighn

As a grief recovery coach, I often get emails from people who have just recently suffered a loss. They all want to know the same thing. What can they do to get through the pain, sadness, and grief? Here are some strategies my clients have found to be helpful. 7 Strategies for Navigating Loss: Practice grace with yourself. Allow yourself to do what you need to take care of you without judging yourself for any actions you do or don’t take. Don’t let others tell you how to grieve. There is no right or wrong way. There is only your […]

Keep the Door to Your Soul Open

Posted on December 17, 2017 - by Elizabeth Brady

I was given a pocket size daily devotional after Mack died called “Healing After Loss” written by Martha Whitmore Hickman, who was also a bereaved parent. I carried it in my purse for two years until the binding weakened, the cover fell off, and each page was dotted with notes and stained with my tears. One of the daily reflections was actually credited to her own grandmother, who had also lost a child. She wrote, “Keep the door to your soul open” to your loved one. This notion struck me and I copied it down in my own journal. I had begun to experience a variety of dreams, visions, […]

How to Treat a Grieving Person: Be Real

Posted on December 17, 2017 - by Kim Shute

I am now two years out from the unexpected and traumatic death of my husband, which means countless people have lifted me up and cared for me when I could not do it myself. In and among those wonderful helpful friends and family, there have been some responses to my grief and mourning that were not just unhelpful, but hurtful. Given recent national conversations around grief, I feel the need to say something about what words people said to me that were most supportive, and highlight some responses that did not work for me. The socially accepted, “sorry for your loss,” […]

The Response of Men After a Miscarriage with Stephanie Rose

Posted on December 15, 2017 - by Heidi Horsley

At the annual ADEC (Association of Death Education and Counseling), I spoke with Stephanie Rose about men and miscarriage and the unacknowledged loss. Men sometimes respond differently to miscarriages. Stephanie explains more about this in the video below. Here are some key takeaways from the video: Stephanie’s research suggests that men can experience an array of emotions after their wife has had a miscarriage, but those emotions often brushed under the rug. When a man’s wife experiences a miscarriage, the man always gets asked “how is your wife doing?” vs. “how are you feeling?” A man’s feelings in this situation […]

Remembering a Big Sister Who Struggled with Eating Disorder

Posted on December 8, 2017 - by Judy Lipson

I never comprehended the summer of 1970. At age 14, I witnessed my beautiful older sister Margie fading away when she picked me up from overnight camp. My sister whom I idolized was a shadow of herself. For so many years, I had held on to who I wanted her to be. Our lives would later veer off the path into a detour neither of us could have fathomed. Despite it all, Margie and I shared a closeness only sisters understand. Although physically I could witness Margie’s decline, my heart always wanted the sister I looked up to. I felt […]

Cherished Memories Are a Balm for Grief

Posted on December 3, 2017 - by Judy Lipson

Jane’s birth on November 6, 1959, is one I don’t remember. I have been told that at age three, I was beyond excited at the arrival of a baby sister. Jane, a tiny bundle of beauty, pink, and softness, shone gorgeous locks of golden blond hair. She was the true baby of the family, adorable, and the apple of everyone’s eye. The resemblance to my daughter Janie, her namesake, is uncanny. I loved having a younger sister. I now became the middle of three girls, a role from that day forward defined me. We shared a room until she reached […]

‘How Can I Help if I Don’t Know You’re Hurting?’

Posted on December 3, 2017 - by Carla J Vagnini

As a caregiver of a parent with Alzheimer’s dementia, I struggle with myself when I find out my father has been hurting and won’t tell me about it. My husband and I are caregivers for my father who will be turning 80 next year. Whenever we’re with him, we focus on the positive and talk about the memories he recounts, even those that were from before I was born. Most recently after seeing a significant weight loss in my father, I noticed he was chewing his food differently. I didn’t say anything but knew he didn’t want to go back […]

A Healing Walk in the Cemetery

Posted on December 3, 2017 - by Nina Impala

When our loved ones pass, the loss is visceral, all encompassing. The cemetery feels like a sad place, but as time passes it can be a place of comfort and peace. I never thought this until I recently moved near one. Literally, it is in my front yard. It is a very beautiful place full of artwork, sculptures, chapels, museums and even the most heavenly meditation garden. It is a place not just of endings but also beginnings. When we are in the throes of grief, it is hard to see beyond the next minute or hour. Life feels arduous […]

Stories I Do Not Tell: Grief & Spirituality

Posted on November 16, 2017 - by Tambre Leighn

Einstein said, “Energy cannot be created or destroyed. It can only be changed from one form into another.” Strange that a scientist’s quote brought me comfort in dealing with the death of my husband, Gary. It also became the means by which I convinced myself I wasn’t crazy when seemingly inexplicable, spiritual experiences happened. These are stories I’ve rarely shared. I chose to keep them mostly private. Why? Because I feared being judged. Now, I simply do not care what others think. Feeling the presence of the loved ones we’ve lost can be comforting. Is it real or imagined? I don’t have […]