Open to Hope Articles

Articles Home

Hope in a Jar, a Loving Gift for the Bereaved

Posted on October 16, 2017 - by Harriet Hodgson

What should you say to a grieving friend? What shouldn’t you say? Finding the right words may be so hard that you decide to send a sympathy card. “Well, that’s done,” you mutter to yourself. Later, though, you may wish you had talked to your friend face-to-face. Of course, this isn’t always possible. Instead of sending sympathy cards, I send bereaved friends a grief affirmation book I wrote several years ago. The gift is always welcome. One friend wrote such a beautiful thank-you note that I cried. In addition to writing grief recovery books, I give talks about affirmation […]

Wendy Lichtenthal: Helping Parents After the Loss of a Child

Posted on October 13, 2017 - by Gloria Horsley

Dr. Wendy Lichtenthal is a researcher at the Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center in New York City, and many of her interests focus on grieving. She spoke with Dr. Gloria Horsley during the Association for Death Education and Counseling 2015 conference about how parents can heal after losing a child. “We are doing an intervention development study… focusing on finding meaning after the loss of a child,” she explains. An almost impossible task is finding meaning in your own life as well as the life of your child, she says. Meaning Center Grief Therapy is currently being tested with feedback […]

Navigating Grief Through the Holidays

Posted on October 11, 2017 - by Elizabeth Horwin

As we approach the holiday season, many of us are looking forward to spending time with family and friends, celebrations, traditions and expectations of things to come. Throughout our lives, expectations of things to come are based on past experiences. This article is not for those looking forward to the holiday season, but for those who are dreading this time of the year. This article is for those of us who have experienced a significant loss of a loved one, of a relationship through death, through divorce, through any change in our lives that now requires us to live […]

Carlos Blessing: Grief and Diversity in Nicaragua

Posted on October 11, 2017 - by Gloria Horsley

Carlos Blessing traveled from Nicaragua to attend the 2015 Association for Death Education and Counseling conference, where he spoke with Dr. Gloria Horsley about men and grieving. “We live in a very machismo culture,” he explains. “Men take care of everything.” The desire to look strong and seemingly emotionless is steeped deep into Nicaraguan culture, and Latin American culture in general. In Nicaragua, the men are in charge of all the logistics of a death, from planning the funeral to taking care of the paperwork, which keeps them busy and allows little time for grieving even if they felt comfortable […]

The Bitter Taste of Grief: Art and Healing

Posted on October 10, 2017 - by Katherine Relf-Canas

“Take the bitter taste of this night and move on…” This evening, I read that phrase in a New York Times article “Mexico Earthquake, Strongest in a Century, Kills Dozens.” The reporter had spoken with Mexico City earthquake survivor, Alberto Briseño, who managed to share words of hopeful resignation amidst the chaos. “Moving on,” Briseño said, “it’s what Mexicans do so well.” By a strange conjunction of events, the day of this historic earthquake, September 8, 2017, was already marked on my calendar. Weeks ago, I’d written “Rocky Behr’s estate sale” there. I’d wanted to go to the estate sale, which was happening […]

Hope in the Land of Loss

Posted on October 9, 2017 - by Lisa Irish

The bright, blue sky surrounded the scene, it filled the moment with light. I looked up to see the somber funeral men, leading each of us past the casket. One gave me the carnation from his jacket, as I stood before the big, dark casket where my father’s body lay hidden. I was eleven. How could I look at the sky, when I couldn’t take my eyes off his cradle of death? This moment held me captive for over forty years. My heart had been trapped in the Land of Loss, searching for a way out. Other details in my […]

Weeping With Those Who Weep: Supporting Others in Grief

Posted on October 9, 2017 - by Jill Smoot

At a friend’s home recently, I had the privilege of becoming acquainted with a dear woman who is 94 years young. As we were seated together in a cozy spot, she began to tell me about herself. It wasn’t too long before she related to me that her daughter had passed away. But then she paused, looked intently at me and said, “ You probably have never known the loss of an adult child.” I quietly responded back that, as a matter of fact, I had. Then she leaned forward slightly and said, “Then you know how I feel. “ […]

David Moller: Cultural Competency Among Health Professionals

Posted on October 1, 2017 - by Gloria Horsley

David Moller of the Truman Medical Center spoke with Dr. Gloria Horsley during the 2015 Annual Association for Death Education and Counseling conference. Currently, Moller is working with a group to create training on cultural competence for the medical staff at Truman. “We’re extending their learning out and into the neighborhood,” he explains. Hospice home visits are common for medical residents, as are inner city visits. Most patients come to the hospital, but Moller is committed to reversing it. Bringing doctors into the home allows for learning about poverty challenges, racial barrier issues and to experience another side of their […]

Jill Harrington: Loss of a Young Adult

Posted on September 28, 2017 - by Heidi Horsley

Dr. Jill Harrington is a social worker, clinician and researcher at the Center for the Study of Traumatic Stress who specializes in grief after losing a young adult. “Some in the military and some in the civilian world,” explains Dr. Harrington, who chatted with Dr. Heidi Horsley during the Association for Death Education and Counseling conference in spring 2015. Losing a young adult is a unique situation, she explains. Losing a young adult means the survivors have lost the past, present and all the potential for the future. It’s unlike losing a young child, who has a limited past, or […]

Don’t Send the Wrong Message to Surviving Children

Posted on September 26, 2017 - by Laura Diehl

When our child leaves this earth, so many of our future hopes and dreams go with them. I don’t even need to start listing them; we all know all too well what those things are. When my oldest daughter, Becca, first died, it was so hard to see past her death and the death of our future together as mother and daughter, that it seemed impossible to see what was still there. So, what was still there for me? For one thing, my four other children. Why is that? Why is our loss so deep, that the loss of […]