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The Three Points

Posted on June 26, 2017 - by Mike Russell

My experience with grief tells me that while grief is different for everyone, there are commonalities in the questions grievers ask. How do I move forward? Why does grief take so long to get over? What does normal look like now? These are just some of the questions that linger after the death of anyone and can keep the strongest of us feeling confined. I was there in that situation trying to decide if I even wanted to fight my way out. It turns out that at the time I did not even have the strength to begin. If I […]

Son’s Death Like the Loss of a Limb

Posted on June 26, 2017 - by Neal Raisman

Grief? I can only explain it one way to those who ask how I am. To anyone who dares ask if I am getting over it. My son’s death was like having a leg cut off, the edge where it was hacked off remaining raw and exposed, scabbing over at times, just waiting for someone to rip the scab off with a question or comment to again expose the raw meat of pain to the air. Once you’ve lost a leg, it is always gone. I constantly miss it, phantom pain reminding me of the loss. I’m secretly jealous of all […]

Welcomed Tears

Posted on June 26, 2017 - by Bart Sumner

I have met many people since my son David died 8 years ago who have struggled with the death of a loved one. We have all have had different challenges in moving forward with our lives afterward. It is especially difficult when the person who has died was taken early in their life, when they still had so much to give the world and those they loved. David was only 10 when he died. Tragically a short time after David died, our dear friends and neighbors, as close a friends as we had, who have children the same ages as […]

My Summer of Grief Led to New Normal

Posted on June 26, 2017 - by Lo Anne Mayer

Our daughter died on July 19, 2005. The shock of her suicide and my own gut-wrenching grief that day is painful to remember. No one in our family knew what to do or how to react. It was like falling out of a boat in the dark at high tide. We couldn’t “swim”. We couldn’t help each other. We could only survive. Everyone seemed to be in a daze. We found no help from priests, doctors, Cyndi’s husband or the investigators of Cyndi’s death. At the time, I didn’t know about Compassionate Friends. When someone mentioned it to me, I […]

Land of the Ill

Posted on June 24, 2017 - by Molly Gandour

Recently, my friend’s mom was dying. I had no idea what to say or do. Because I’ve been through it all — the hospital waiting rooms, diagnosis, ICU, oxygen machine, the relapses — I’d like to think I’d know exact right quip or quote. My friend would call and explain the situation: fluid behind his mom’s heart, repeated infections, a respirator. All signs pointed to a death process, yet I kept wanting to tell him she’d be okay, there’d be a miracle, it would all work out. I’d get off the phone, disappointed in myself. I felt I was failing. […]

The Myth of the 5 Stages of Grief

Posted on June 24, 2017 - by Mary Joye

As a mental-health counselor and a sixty-something-year-old human being, I have found that you cannot fit grief into a neat list of stages on some linear continuum. The so-called five stages of grief actually are a myth. Grief doesn’t come in stages, but in cycles. These cycles may come in waves like a gently rolling incoming tide of memories, or like a consuming tsunami of pain that can’t be stopped. And there are way more than five stages and phases of grief. There are infinite ways grief comes and goes. No one’s pain can fit neatly into a check list. […]

possible from new writer, Mike Russell

Posted on June 22, 2017 - by Neil Chethik

The Three Points When life is framed within the confines of grief, it can be limiting in choices for the survivor. I think that the rest of the world thinks that choices are easy, or they want that for you as the survivor. My experience tells me otherwise. While grief is different for everyone, there seems to be commonality in the questions that I hear from people. How do I move forward? How do I survive without my spouse? Why does grief take so long to get over? What does normal look like now? These are just some of […]

What Grief Teaches Us

Posted on June 22, 2017 - by Julie Lange

In the depths of our grief, something new is being born in us. Grief is the dark mother delivering from her womb of sorrow an unfolding version of ourselves. This new version experiences dimensions of emotion that the old version could not. The new version has collapsed and stretched and suffered and learned in ways that leave us changed forever. We emerge from our grief—if we have grieved well—with expanded awareness of what it means to be human. If we have shown ourselves compassion for our own suffering, we will have developed more compassion for others. If we have seized […]

Why Summer is a Bittersweet Time

Posted on June 21, 2017 - by Harriet Hodgson

I’m originally from Long Island, New York. When I was growing up, most of the towns along the shore were boat towns. Residents had small fishing boats, motor boats, and a variety of sailboats. Ever since he was little, my brother was interested in sailing. When he was a teenager, my parents bought him a Sandpiper, a 12 ½-foot sailboat, an ideal size for a beginner. He immersed himself in sailing books, practiced knot-tying, and memorized tacking diagrams. After he mastered the Sandpiper, my parents bought him a Star, a racing sailboat with a keel. It was a sleek, blue […]

Five Signs You May Be Carrying Hidden Grief

Posted on June 13, 2017 - by Julie Lange

When my son Justin died in 1993 at the age of 16, I was emotionally crippled for at least a year, unable to return to my former life in advertising or relate to people in familiar ways. Over time, I reassembled the tattered scraps of my life into a new tapestry, and I took all the time I needed to grieve well. After 10 years, I had created a rich new life, with wonderful friends, meaningful work and a robust spiritual practice. I had met the man who would become my husband and joyfully embraced my new role as […]