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Grief’s Linking Objects: The Winnowing Process

Posted on November 12, 2016 - by Harriet Hodgson

Linking objects–things that belonged to a deceased loved one–are reminders of experiences and feelings. A bereaved son may wear his father’s watch, for example, and a bereaved daughter may use her mother’s dishes. At holiday time I put mother’s cut glass water decanter on the dinner table, a reminder of her love, guidance, and all the wonderful meals she made. Objects like these are sources of comfort. Kayla Waldschmidt details the values of linking objects in her article, “Memory Tokens and Linking Objects,” posted on the Grief Resource Center website. She thinks linking objects are powerful “items that keep you connected […]

Lunch Date with Resilience: Sisu After Pregnancy Loss

Posted on November 8, 2016 - by Michelle Jarvie

“I like the concept of Sisu: perseverance, guts, determination. But I also think that’s what gets me in trouble.” With family hailing from Finland, Sisu is a common household word, encouraging bravery and resilience. But for my new friend, Heather, it’s extra pressure that makes her feel like she should be able to “do it all on my own.” When she lost her first baby at 20 weeks, after years of dealing with the agony of infertility, confidence was at an all-time low. Heather and her husband started trying to have kids in 2009, and ended up spending multiple […]

Christmas Grief

Posted on November 1, 2016 - by Lo Anne Mayer

Even though our daughter, Cyndi, died over 11 years ago, the season of Christmas is still the hardest time for me. Remembering our little girl opening presents and playing with her five siblings as a child still sears my mind, and constricts my heart. My husband and I were blessed with six children in 12 years of marriage. We were awash with Christmas wishes and presents when the children were young. As they grew older, married, and moved to other areas, they still came to our house to celebrate the holidays — until 2005. That was Cyndi’s last Christmas. She […]

Día de Muertos: Eat, Speak, and Remember

Posted on October 28, 2016 - by Elizabeth Brady

The Oxford English dictionary defines “remember” as to “have in or be able to bring one’s mind an awareness of someone or something from the past.” I have thought a lot about remembering or memory since our son Mack died on New Year’s Eve 2012, two weeks shy of his 9th birthday. Often a memory of a moment between us will bubble up unbidden and in the early days of mourning these would pierce me as a reminder of what I had lost. As the years have unfolded, I have come to relish those moments and even invite them. Recently, […]

Support for Donor Families and Organ Recipients

Posted on October 24, 2016 - by Gloria Horsley

What does it mean to be a member of a donor family? Jamie Yetter, the family services coordinator with the Arkansas Regional Organ Recovery Agency (ARORA), works closely with families who potentially have a loved one who is a viable organ donor. She’s a chaplain and gets notified from hospitals when a potential donor becomes available, then serves as a liaison between the medical team and potential donor family. Even if a family chooses not to donate, Yetter stays by their side and helps in any way she can. Organ donation is just part of her role—the bulk of her […]

Adult Children and the Loss of Elderly Parents

Posted on October 22, 2016 - by Heidi Horsley

Registered drama therapist and licensed counselor Deborah Antinori discusses the loss of elderly parents with Dr. Heidi Horsley. As adult children, losses can be minimized and disenfranchised. Loved ones don’t offer the same level of support or seem to worry as much about adult children compared to teens and young children—however, our parents are our parents no matter our age. Common responses are, “Well, the parent has lived a good, long life,” but that doesn’t make it any easier for the adult children. The last dance is one that can be traumatizing, even when the death is expected. You’re connected […]

Grief in the Body Politic: Mourning Lost Elections

Posted on October 20, 2016 - by Greg Adams

The way we deal with loss shapes our capacity to be present to life more than anything else. The way we protect ourselves from loss may be the way in which we distance ourselves from life. — Rachel Naomi Remen, Kitchen Table Wisdom Remen says that the way we deal with loss, as much as anything, shapes how we deal with living. We protest our losses to help us learn what is truly lost and can’t be changed. And sometimes we don’t learn and get stuck living life in protest. Don’t give up what you don’t have to […]

Families For Safe Streets: Preventing the Death of a Child

Posted on October 20, 2016 - by Dr. Gloria and Dr. Heidi Horsley

The Families for Safe Streets was founded by a group of bereaved parents committed to increasing their children’s safety. Drs. Gloria and Heidi Horsley interview Amy Cohen—Sammy’s mother—who works closely with this organization. She’s a founding member, along with Dana Lerner (mother of Cooper) who’s a psychotherapist. Sammy was killed while crossing the street in front of his house. Lerner works in private practice, and was influential in passing Cooper’s Law after he was killed when a cab ran over him in Manhattan. She also serves on the board of Cab Riders United. The death of a child is always […]

Peter’s Place: Serving Grieving Children in Philadelphia

Posted on October 18, 2016 - by Gloria Horsley

Dr. Gloria Horsley talks with Anthony Morelli of Peter’s Place. A licensed social worker, he works with bereaved children near Philadelphia. Peter’s Place serves children and families who have experienced a death—usually of a parent or sibling. When there’s a loss, it affects the entire community including the school. Children need a safe, consistent environment. After a death, routines are no longer maintained, and school can be a safe, consistent place for children. How to interact with a child is a big challenge. A lot of the time, it’s showing and mentioning that you care. Let children take the lead […]

Roberta’s House a Place for Community Healing

Posted on October 16, 2016 - by Heidi Horsley

The President of Roberta’s House, Annette March-Grier, speaks with Dr. Gloria Horsley about the organization’s mission and what it’s like being the only grief center in Baltimore. Founded in 2007, Roberta’s House is in the heart of an urban community that has a lot of violence, drug usage, and health concerns. All free services are available to children and families. The organization serves children as young as five years old. Kids need support after a loss, and also to be visible. They need someone to help give them a voice. The importance of expression can be easily overlooked. Today in […]