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Caregiver Remorse: 3 Ways to Find Peace

Posted on October 11, 2016 - by Tambre Leighn

I’ve not yet met a fellow caregiver who, at some point, hasn’t expressed at least one regret…maybe more. Caregiving can be extremely rewarding and challenging. The rewards are pretty clear. On the challenging side, there is care delivery. Caregivers end up on the front lines providing services that, in the past, have been in the hands of trained healthcare practitioners. Patients are moved home at a faster rate out of hospitals and treatment centers often leaving injections, wound care, medication oversight, and more in the hands of the family. Another challenge that weighs on caregivers are the medical care decisions especially, […]

Becoming a Grief Counselor

Posted on October 11, 2016 - by Gloria Horsley

Dr. Gloria Horsley connects with Dr. Janet McCord at an Association for Death Education and Counseling (ADEC) conference. Dr. McCord is the director of Grief and Bereavement Studies at Marian University in Wisconsin. The two experts discuss what it means to be a grief counselor, including the unique challenges—as well as the benefits. Being a volunteer facilitator is no easy task. It requires love, listening skills, the ability to not make judgments of what children are saying, and the ability to validate what grievers are saying. Ultimately, the goal is to reflect back to them. A child should expect a […]

Grief, the Roller Coaster

Posted on October 10, 2016 - by Ceci Frost

The one thing you can predict when it comes to the journey of grief is that it will be unpredictable. The most random and smallest sound, smell, or sight can push you emotionally. It’s typically when you least expect it. This is when you realize that you have memories—some that you forgot about—that are attached to specific songs, activities, locations, or a silly candy bar. You could be fine, focusing on something, and then one of those things shows up and your mind goes back in time while you’re trying to stay present. It takes your breath away and freezes […]

Deep Calls to Deep: Why Grievers Understand Each Other

Posted on October 7, 2016 - by Mark Liebenow

I wear the black shroud of my dead, walk through dark canyons littered with bones. Sorrowful, beautiful death lives here. Silence is my companion because you are gone. * A friend who works with the grieving loves the Latin of this phrase so much (abyssus abyssum invocate), that she had it tattooed on her arm. I understand why. We both speak Grief. Megan says it’s an “invitation and statement of purpose.” The phrase comes from Psalm 42:7, and the image is of desperately longing for someone. Of being battered by a tempest of wind and water. Of being lost. Sinking. […]

Julie White: Teens and Grief

Posted on October 7, 2016 - by Gloria Horsley

Teens can grieve differently than adults. Dr. Gloria Horsley interviews Julie White of the Willow Center in Idaho. White runs teen groups, and finds that teens need the support of one another after a loss. They like to lean on each other to know they’re not alone. Sometimes in school, they feel like an outcast. Feeling like a loner or outsider makes the teenage years even more difficult. However, sometimes it can be challenging to get teens to show up. You need to be flexible and plan for any sized group. Facilitators are informed of the type of loss so […]

How Child-Loss Changes Your Relationships

Posted on October 5, 2016 - by Shannon Harris

There is a great divide between the relationships I have with those in my life six years ago and those just getting to know me. The more time that passes since watching my son take his last breath, the greater this divide grows. I was reminded of this today when confronted with some difficult situations that involved people on the newer side of the chasm. When I meet people now, the fact that I lost a child does not come up early on in our conversations. I share that information with select people. If I think my story will inspire […]

Life-Work Balance and a Parent with Dementia

Posted on October 1, 2016 - by Carla J Vagnini

I reflect at 3am not being able to sleep, remembering it was just over one year ago since my husband Paul and I moved my father and his two cats 700 miles north to live near us. We were traveling and preparing for his move during the week of our 20th anniversary. Not what we’d planned in 2015 for such a wonderful occasion but very much needed. Our anniversary is tomorrow and we have plans to spend the day together and celebrate our love, friendship and growing stronger together through all of the adversity we’ve faced of the past few […]

Tina Barrett: Grief Center Serves Men and Boys

Posted on September 27, 2016 - by Heidi Horsley

There are many types of grieving styles, and that’s the topic of discussion between Dr. Heidi Horsley and Tina Barrett during the National Alliance for Grieving Children conference. Barrett is with the Tamarack Grief Center, an organization revered by Dr. Horsley and the Open to Hope Foundation. Comparing how girls grieve vs. boys is a tricky issue—since everyone grieves differently. It’s impossible to avoid lumping some stereotypes together with this conversation, however there are certainly well-established developmental differences between the genders. Still, as a nation men are under-served. Look at almost any grief center, and you’ll find an inordinate amount […]

From Motherless to ‘Motherfull’

Posted on September 25, 2016 - by Ceci Frost

Knowing our role or function among our friends and family isn’t something we intentionally think about; it’s just natural. Knowing our role at work is necessary and obvious. I didn’t realize every character (aka: people around me) in my story (aka: life) had been playing a role in my life for years. Not just Mom, Dad, Grandma, or best friend. But more in-depth: protector, caretaker, wisdom giver, encourager, the glue, or comedian. I knew before I lost my mom that I was Cathy’s daughter. Everyone loved my mom; therefore, they loved me too, because I was her daughter. (I truly […]

When Sorrow and Joy Collide: Coping with Opposite Emotions

Posted on September 23, 2016 - by Harriet Hodgson

In 2007, my husband and I became guardians of our twin grandchildren. Our elder daughter, their mother, died from the injuries she received in a car crash. Six months later the twin’s father died from the injuries he received in a car crash. Two more family members died as well, and we were stunned by grief. The twins, one boy and one girl, were 15 years old when they moved in with us. Our challenge was to stay upbeat for them and grieve at the same time. I’m a strong person, but wondered if I would survive such tragedy. As […]