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Grieving Children: How We Can Help Them

Posted on July 26, 2016 - by Dr. Gloria and Dr. Heidi Horsley

The Executive Director of the National Alliance for Grieving Children, Andy McNiel, joins Drs. Gloria and Heidi Horsley to talk about the organization and how to help bereaved children. Understanding that grief is an integral, personal and transitional part of life is critical. McNiel says understanding how grief impacts kids is key. There used to be a belief that children didn’t grieve because 1) they weren’t old enough and 2) many children hide their grief in order to protect their parents. In the past few decades, it’s been “discovered” that kids are capable of grief. Alan Pedersen, the Executive Director […]

Spider in the Candle Jar

Posted on July 24, 2016 - by Sarah Kravits

I keep a yoga mat rolled out in a small room in my house. In front of it I have a candle in a jar, with a sticker on the bottom that identifies the fragrance as “inner peace.” I light it when I practice because the flame helps me focus, and I also figure that a little extra inner peace could not be a bad idea. The other day as I came to the mat, I struck a match and lit the candle as I always do, and stood up to begin. Bending forward I noticed something out of the […]

Kathleen Gilbert: Couples Coping with Child Loss

Posted on July 20, 2016 - by Gloria Horsley

Dr. Kathleen Gilbert, an Associate Professor at Indiana University, talks with Dr. Gloria Horsley at an Association for Death Education and Counseling (ADEC) conference. How can couples cope with the loss of a child? Partners can have very different reactions, explains Dr. Gilbert. Men and women in general tend to have different approaches to life and death. Couples who go through this traumatic experience can grow closer—or farther apart. Men will “do the man’s job” of buying caskets, making the arrangements, and basically manage the world around their wives. Women are given permission to be the emotional griever. Women are […]

Tiffany Papageorge: Transformation Comes When We Feel the Loss

Posted on July 19, 2016 - by Heidi Horsley

During the National Alliance for Grieving Children conference, Dr. Heidi Horsley connected with Tiffany Papageorge to discuss her book, My Yellow Balloon: A Book About Loss. It’s a book about any kind of loss, using metaphors to take you through the process of loss. It was initially written as a high school project for class. Her teacher adored it so much she tried to publish it. That didn’t happen, but the story followed Papageorge through the years. Now it’s been published, and focuses on the transformation that comes when we feel our way through grief rather than push it aside. […]

Ode to an Urn Maker: Commemorative Urns of Eliza Thomas

Posted on July 18, 2016 - by Katherine Relf-Canas

Ceramic artist Eliza Thomas has a unique practice of creating commemorative urns and offering them to those grieving a loss. Hearing of this work, I was intrigued, and tried to track her down. When we finally meet at Caffe Borrone in Menlo Park, we are just a short walk from Stanford University. Next door neighbors to Kepler’s Books, Borrone’s is also not far from longtime haven of progressive education, the Peninsula School, where Thomas has taught Nursery-8th grade art for 35 years. Creating Connections Deep human connection is a thread that you’ll find expressed in one way or another in […]

Homesick This Summer: Widows Miss Their Men

Posted on July 17, 2016 - by Luellen Hoffman

A few days ago, I boarded a flight to St. Louis to visit my son who had recently moved there for his job. As I sat in my seat, a white-haired lady walked down the aisle of the plane, and she had a big smile on her face, like she was glad to see me. Her shirt was a light denim blue and it had little rhinestones in vertical lines, like sparkly tear drops, and her slacks were summer white. She reminded me of a family friend. She sat down next to me and told me her name was […]

Getting Through Those Triggers!

Posted on July 15, 2016 - by Gabrielle Doucet

When we lose a loved one, the time we spend dealing with sadness surrounding that loss can vary daily, hourly or even minute-by-minute. As time goes by, the expectation we have and what generally occurs, is that the sad thoughts spread themselves out further and further apart. We learn to adjust to life moving on and us having to move with it. Simply said, but not easily done. What happens to us emotionally, and how we manage the “triggers” that follow our “adjustment to life” can be another matter entirely. What is a trigger? This is an occasion, an event, […]

The Starriest Night: van Gogh’s Grief Illuminates Ours

Posted on July 12, 2016 - by Sue Trace Lawrence

As a psychology professor, I am fascinated by the works of great artists. These creative individuals can be those in visual arts, music, or literature. I believe that anxiety and depression, maybe all forms of human suffering, can be expressed through creative pursuits. Sigmund Freud used terms such as catharsis and sublimation to describe the emotional release we can sometimes experience by expressing our thoughts and feelings. How awesome to do this in a way that creates beauty for the world, in a manner that might bring joy and peace to those who experience the work? One of my favorite […]

Deborah Antinori: Pet Loss

Posted on July 10, 2016 - by Heidi Horsley

Registered nurse and licensed professional counselor Deborah Antinori joins Dr. Heidi Horsley to talk about pet loss, one of the most disenfranchised losses. She’s also a drama therapist and grief counselor. There are practical and emotional issues surrounding pet loss. When you lose a pet, it’s similar to any other kind of loss. Sadness, tearfulness, depression, and anxiety are all common. Pets are with you every day, and when they’re gone it feels like something is very wrong. You might feel angry with yourself—should you have taken them to the vet sooner? It’s easy to blame yourself, your vet, and […]

After Father’s Death, Daughter Recalls His Deep Devotion

Posted on July 9, 2016 - by Cheryl Espinosa-Jones

My father was an activist who devoted his life to one principle: that God is love. He once told me that he was a Christian because he was born in a Christian household in a Christian culture and it might have been otherwise if he’d been born in, say, the Middle East. His belief in the power of love was so all inclusive that when I, in 1971, revealed I was a lesbian, he never said one negative word to me. It was only after his death that I saw his writing, in which he struggled with whether he had […]