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The Aftermath of a Suicide

Posted on February 24, 2016 - by Jill Smoot

After the shock , after the gut-wrenching pain, and after so many tears unnumbered are shed, then comes the aftermath, and for some, anger. This anger was not my own, but the feelings of my dear mother-in-law, after the death of Janice, her daughter. Janice was more than just my husband’s sister, she was a close friend. We were only one month apart in age, and had shared a lot of memories together over the years. The feelings I had, and were daily dealing with, were not those of anger but complete incomprehensible understanding. How could Janice end her life […]

Staying Put or Selling the Family Home

Posted on February 22, 2016 - by Anne Jennings

I have worked with many clients who have chosen to move away from their home after the passing of a loved one. The information in this Open to Hope article may help you decide if this is your best path at the moment. Things to consider People suffering profound grief may want to move house, to run away from the events that have taken place and find a new job, to move the kids to a different school to escape. There are two ways to look at the choices we make. One is to make a decision because you desire […]

Twelve Years Later: Love Really Is Both Sides Now

Posted on February 20, 2016 - by Nancy Sharp

February is anniversary month, when loss rises like nausea, climbing and swelling until the day itself, February 21. This is the day my first husband Brett died of a brain tumor, a medulloblastoma. He was witty, green-eyed, and just shy of his fortieth birthday. I was 37, and our twins, well, they were less than three years of age. Out daughter, Rebecca, and son, Casey, did not inherit Brett’s green eyes, but they do share his nose, innate kindness, and love of ATS: All Things Sweet. Ours is a not a recent loss. Brett died twelve years ago. That’s […]

Wearing My Father’s Clothes

Posted on February 18, 2016 - by Greg Adams

Many days since my father’s death, I have worn some piece of his clothing. Often it is just a belt, brown or black. Today it was a blue dress shirt (several from which to choose), a navy blazer, an overcoat, and a wool cap…and the brown belt. I also have pullover sweaters, turtlenecks, mock turtlenecks, a plaid blazer, a brown hat with a brim, and more dress shirts. Lots of blue, red and white which fit the school district in which he worked and also his personal preferences. I’m more of a black, brown and green kind of guy—closer to […]

Suicide Threats Spark Anticipatory Grief

Posted on February 17, 2016 - by Harriet Hodgson

A friend of mine has a suicidal daughter and worries about her constantly. The daughter attempted suicide once, and has threatened it many times. “When I wake up in the morning, I wonder if this will be the day she succeeds,” the mother explained. She has nightmares about her daughter and feels totally helpless. If your loved one is suicidal you may have similar feelings. You may be so worried that you are unaware of your anticipatory grief—a feeling of loss before a dreaded event or death occurs. All you know is that life is different, dark, and bleak. Without […]

Maddi The Therapy Dog

Posted on February 16, 2016 - by Dr. Gloria and Dr. Heidi Horsley

Maddi, therapy dog extraordinaire, is part of The Dougy Center in Portland, Oregon. Under Dr. Donna Shuurman, CEO of the center, this is a space for kids, teens, and their families to be surrounded by their peers and plenty of empathy. The Dougy Center is for children ages three through 18, young adults, and their families. It’s a space where nobody tries to “make it all better,” but instead listens, empathizes, and allows everyone to follow their own grief journey. There are many activities and resources to help with healing, including a thriving art therapy program. However, perhaps one of […]

Putting the House Back Together Afterward

Posted on February 15, 2016 - by Anne Jennings

Note: My book, Belongings, seeks to understand the connection bereaved people have with their loved one’s personal belongings. Here is an excerpt. Putting the House Back Together Creatively Take a few deep breaths and use the grounding technique any time you feel tired. Changing your living environment can be daunting, but at the same time getting creative helps to break out of your sorrow. You are strong. Congratulate yourself on creating a clean, fresh home filled with photos of happy people, gifts that recall fun moments, healthy colourful pot plants at the door, and a place where everyone can relax […]

Jake Abbott: Creative Expression and Art Therapy for Children

Posted on February 15, 2016 - by Heidi Horsley

Jake Abbott works with the Seattle-based non-profit organization, , which offers creative therapy for bereaved children. He was interviewed by Dr. Gloria Horsley and says his organization publishes books that help with art therapy. Blending narrative, art and cognitive based therapy was the driving force behind five books that help children handle trauma. Bullying, divorce and, of course, death are all traumatic events. Finding hope after loss is challenging for everyone, including children. One tip Abbott offers is identifying partnerships and resources that specialize in child therapy. Art with Heart builds partnerships with local hospitals, focusing on everything from doodling […]

Valentine’s Day Message: It Does Get Better

Posted on February 14, 2016 - by Cathy Seehuetter

Valentine’s Day 1995: I had just sat down at my desk in my home office for a busy day work-wise when the phone rang. It was Nina calling me from Park High School. “Mom, you have to help me. I need to have something for Chris (her new boyfriend) for Valentine’s Day. I am pretty sure that he got me something and I really want to get him something too.” Furthermore, she knew exactly what she wanted: glow in the dark stars, like the ones she had on her bedroom ceiling. The place to find them was at Spencer’s Gifts […]

Diana Wright: TAPS Youth Programs

Posted on February 13, 2016 - by Heidi Horsley

The recent National Alliance for Grieving Children conference brought together Dr. Heidi Horsley and Diana Wright of TAPS Youth Programs. She’s been a volunteer for five years, and came on staff as a programs coordinator. She first learned about TAPS in 2007, and learned how incredible the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors is for bereaved military members and their families. She started volunteering and found a path of healing after her son died in the military. It took six months after his death before she started actively looking for grief support. Both of Wright’s children have died, and this has […]